S1: Schoen put his hands on my wife and me until my fingers.
S2: Is that high enough? He asked from beneath me a little more, I replied. He obliged. He’s just so big and capable.
S3: Yes, he is.
S4: Hi, I’m Nicole.
S5: You sound a million times, but I feel so much better. I want you to be like my dad for a week, mostly alive, but also kind of dead, right?
S6: Yeah. And then Friday I was like, okay, I’m tired of eating soup and orange juice. And so you and I went to dinner.
S7: We had some big old hunks of meat. Yes, just pounds of red meat. When my when my dish came out, you said, oh, my God, it’s a it’s a Flintstones meal.
S8: Yes. It looks like a dinosaur steak. Huge bone. Just a short rib. I don’t know where they both came from, but it was good.
S7: It was great. Yeah. And I’m super pleased that you are back in full voice. Um, well, not full health, but you’re on the way. Yes. That’s fantastic. We had some really lovely messages. Get well soon from the first buckets. So thank you very much. Yeah, they really are. Oh, yeah, it was really great. But now you’re back. I’m back. Full strength. Yes. We are about to embark on just an odyssey of thirst.
S6: Yes. With such interesting stops along the way. Really? Truly.
S9: I feel like we are going to be like in slightly going like that. You know, the Mr. krabs me. It’s like, Larry, like it’s gonna be a lot of like, well, live. And I’m excited to go down those particular roads.
S7: Me too. I’m ready. Okay. So, Nicole, we have welcomed you back to the studio with a very special guest.
S6: Yes. One of our I always say that, you know, our art, I guess our favorite people. But actually here. Yeah. Is the favorite of all the favorite.
S8: Right. We are, of course, talking about Ms. Ashley C. Ford. Oh, my gosh. It’s it’s such a huge date for me. It’s huge for us. Imagine how we feel. So we’re gonna do a very quick introduction for the people out there who weirdly do not know who you are, but I find that very hard to believe. Yeah, okay. So, Ashley, Seafood, you are a known underwear model.
S10: We’ve all seen the billboard. Don’t be shy. She’s not even shy. She’s like, yes, I am. I am. Yeah.
S7: You are also a writer, a podcast host, a talk show host. And, of course, the world’s most famous human eye.
S11: You’re laughing. Well, you’re not to deny. No, no, no, no. I’m.
S12: I’m taking it. I’m gay. Even though somebody right before I got here literally tweeted me and was just like, hey, you’re from Fort Wayne, Indiana. Way to represent. And I was like, who is this? And so, like, click. And it’s like the CEO of Dwell, one of the co-founders of, like, Vimeo, who is from Fort Wayne, Indiana. I must say, feeling a little less like the most proud of and or successful knows that’s wrong.
S10: Never heard of that. Wasn’t immune. Never heard of that. That’s not true.
S7: Yeah. Ashley, you also host Fortune Favors the Bold, which is a MasterCard podcast about financial identity.
S10: But today, fuck all that money you have to get first. Do you with us? I’m here for it. Yeah.
S13: This is gonna be a really Thursday episode just jam packed with beautiful people. Yes, it’s beautiful. People who have lived very fulfilling lives.
S10: Listen, I’m I’m really ready to get into it. All right, Ashley, take a sip of water. Because we don’t. A desiccated. All right, let’s begin.
S15: Ashley, the people that we’re going to talk about is someone that we’ve talked about on the show before. But, you know, we love to go back and revisit people.
S6: And this person is definitely worthy of revisiting. And that is Chris Pyne, indeed. Christopher. Yeah.
S16: Oprah, if you will, go and get out tofor if you will. Do you know what Chris Pyne’s middle name is?
S17: I don’t.
S3: It’s white little legs that we like. Like Law of the whites. Yes. Oh. Yeah. Have you heard any doubts? He is white. Oh, he’s quite white, man. His middle name is white. Little white, crystal white. Little pine, almost white. Law. Yeah, I like yeah, I like that.
S18: I feel like I just want to like see him in the background of a Lord of the Rings movie, like battling some sort of like crazy.
S19: Easy or on top of like a like a bluff or something, you just see one of like the hobbits looking over at him like right before he dies and they’re like, Why?
S9: You go home, in case you hadn’t noticed, actually has a rich interior life that she thought would scenes like that. All right.
S10: It is quite a sight we should have asked you to write a drabble because that was already incredible. All right. Already something marvelous fanfic out you. Good. Early get our money’s worth.
S6: But you came to Chris Pyne a little later than I did. But most people, you know, they started very early with his career talks about this means war. You know, whatever. But you kind of you got started a little later. I did. What was your starting point? What was the one that you were like? OK. Now I’m here.
S20: My starting point was Wonderwoman. I wrote I wanted to see Wonderwoman because it was wonderful. Right. You know what I mean? And because, you know, Gaga does nothing to sneeze at by a you know, the. I knew that the male lead in the film was Chris Pyne.
S3: And I was like, fine, because he had bothered me. You know what I mean? He didn’t bother.
S21: Did you watch any of the Star Trek movie? I didn’t. Oh, why? I haven’t seen the Star Trek movies, which is actually very like a lot of people when I tell them I haven’t seen the Star Trek movies I like. Really? Perhaps you’ll like a known nun. I am a known nerd, so I’m genuinely shocked. I am. I I am as well. It just never happened.
S18: Like, I feel like those movies just came out during one of the most chaotic points in my life. And so everything I was watching was just close and familiar. Yeah. And I wasn’t branching out. And now I’m going back to like get some of that back in. I mean, it’s on the list because he’s very sexy.
S11: And I want my own voice.
S12: I’m sorry. I just I suddenly felt warm and embarrassed.
S3: I don’t know why that came from DVD. Is there going to be embarrassed? I breathy. I know. It also looked like she’s holding her hand up to her.
S22: Oh, no, it’s just that too much. I think it’s just being.
S12: Now being married, like, I don’t really get to talk to people. People are so put off by me talking about crushes and people who I find really attract except for my husband. Like I could have this conversation with my husband all day long. And my husband would either be like, I don’t really see that for you or or he’d be like, you know, I understand. And if that opportunity presents itself, let’s just communicate. You know, like that. That’s how he is about those in the loop. But a lot of people in the world feel very weird about talking to somebody who is very publicly, you know, maybe talk about my marriage or my husband all the time. So they’re like, hey, you gave me talking about this person’s Eakes. And I’m like, but they are good geeks. What am I supposed to do?
S6: I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to be the foreign hit. Hit that. What now, Eakes? What are you, Eakes? He exer.
S23: But Chico, my society is everybody.
S16: Seven years. We’re loving it.
S3: Eakes right now. OK, Mario. Well, speaking of geeks, Chris Pyne gives Pine’s EEGs fantastic.
S18: Like you actually if you watch like an especially on Wonder Woman, like the Claw. I don’t know what it is like a media. I was like. I’ve noticed his butt, but I thought he had a good butt. And then there was this like scene in the grotto, like this grotto and Wonder Woman, where he is like after they’ve had this battle on the beach and all this stuff, like they’re trying to, I guess, bathe him. And he’s in like some weird glowing blue water.
S17: And he stands up and Wonderwoman is like, is it typical?
S24: Hi, Nancy. Come in. Choose. Say your typical example of your sex.
S3: I am above average, above average is what he say. OK. And they may not know that. Bill R.S.V.P., right. I’m sorry. I just. Very.
S18: I was so like. Oh, uh-huh. Interesting. And then what I think what I didn’t get from Chris Pyne before they got from him was this in Wonderwoman specifically was that he is so good at hot and straight man.
S6: Funny at the same time.
S25: Explain yourself goodfella like his humor in those movies and also like I think in the in the 1984 that’s coming out, the little clip that I saw when he’s in that his humor is very like what’s happening?
S17: You know, like it’s very like like he like everything else is absurd.
S20: And he’s trying to keep things relatively normal and failing spectacularly. And that kind of humor of like the person whose leg like I’m in control, but also. What was that?
S26: No. It just tickles me. And so, like, he tickled me because I already did.
S6: He he he just he just cosied on up and gave me a little tickle. And then.
S18: And I. And so that I think that’s that was the spark. Right. Like that was seeing him in those movies and being like, oh, I get it. Which sometimes takes a while for me that there will be an actor who for a while people were like, woo, woo. And I’m like, you get it. And then I see him in one role. You know, and I’m like, okay, now I get why everybody is in to this actor.
S6: I get it now. And that’s what happened. And I think also for Chris Pine and the Wonder Woman movie, he. Does not have a problem with the fact that she got Gado is the star, no. And that he can play second fiddle and it’s OK, she can have a shine. That’s what he’s there to like, magnify her and lift her up, her character and her actual star in Hollywood. You know all. And he’s just fine. Like he. He seems very confident in his in himself as a professional that he doesn’t have to try to like, which is, hey, Grimley says, incredibly hot.
S7: I mean, he’s given multiple interviews where he has said, you know, he came on board to wonder with me because he’d been a little bit reluctant. And Patty Jenkins, the director, essentially kind of brought him on board and was like, no, I’m gonna she said. He’s he said that she basically acted out the whole thing and he’s gonna be your role. This is what you’re gonna do. And he said, despite knowing this and coming on board and everything. Every so often he would say to myself, I could say anything else I can do. She was like, No, no, that’s it. This is girls like you. And he’s like, yeah, of course, of course. But I love that he was a like very happy to not be doing all the action star, but also would catch himself a kind of like, oh, I want to do what way? This is not my movie. Yeah. And I appreciated that because. Yes, the bar is underground us to be in hell, right? Yeah. And yet it’s still charming and lovely when someone is not a dick.
S21: Yes. Right. Yes. Right. And I think that that was a. There was just I got no dick vibes from him and that if you want to be afraid that it’s a negative.
S3: You know, I got sick. I gotten a jerk vibe. Yeah. Nigga, I got no I got no jerk dick vibe from him. We had 12 year olds. That’s so funny. They are. They are quite funny. There you go.
S6: But anyway, solidified for me. Yeah, my crash. Seeing him in a Wrinkle in Time. Talk about that. Okay. Cause boom is. Yes. He’s settling into her chair. She’s ready. Listen.
S20: Go on. Okay, so here’s the thing. I know that, you know, A Wrinkle in Time was one of those movies that it came out and like immediately there were some people who were like, I love it. And there’s some people like, I hate it. And okay, the Internet, a.k.a. the Internet. So I got the Internet experience. I loved it. Were you a fan of the book growing up? I was a fan of the book growing up. I read it in like eighth grade. I also am you know, I was I grew up a fatherless girl or girl who had like these really strong feelings about her dad who was not there. And so just that thread of the book, like Daddy Daughter stuff is always going to mess me up. Daddy daughter reunifications, stuff and all that. Like, it’s it’s just always going to turn me into a mess anyway. Right. But this was such a like it’s such a weird role to play because you really are like his character being the dad of Mag.. Yeah. Means he’s like gone most of the movie.
S17: But the scenes that he’s in. I don’t know what Abe told him. I don’t know.
S27: I want to.
S21: I want to know what Avis said to him the day where he had to play the scene where he sees his daughter, who has come through time and space to find this moment when he sees her and like light and definitely thinks it’s a trick ever. And then is like, oh, my God, like in like the what’s happening in this moment of like having feeling like you have to choose between your children. Like so much is happening.
S27: And he is just adorably unshaven. Yes. And open hearted. Yes. And he has like that, you know, that mad scientist thing where it’s like, you know, I love my family, but I really just wanted to shake hands with the universe like that stuff. I’m like, oh, yeah, I’m definitely into that.
S21: That hits your sweet spot. It hits my sweet spot. His wife’s a scientist. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, they are colleagues. Like she’s not his secretary.
S9: Colleagues like that was like the highest aphrodisiac you couldn’t think of.
S18: And you’re talking to a woman with literally like I mean, my husband takes care of a certain part of my life, like. Right. So that I can work and have a career that like is meaningful and makes me happy. And he has his own things. But right now, it’s like he gives so much, you know. And so it’s like I did the when I see in these when I see in these movies like these these people and especially when it’s a man, because it’s just less likely when it’s me, when they have these partners. These women partners who they they adore and they think are brilliant and they like they almost like worship are, but they also have their own shit going on. That’s whole and are really unashamed. Yeah.
S2: The thing about Chris Pyne, he continues to grow on me like even more and more. And the thing about him that I really like is that he seems like an intelligent, smart person. And if you couple that with again, to go to Wrinkle in Time, because at the time I said to Nicole, you mean the role where he played a strong black father?
S3: Because I’m sorry, but he absolutely did.
S9: I like hugging Meg. I like no black man has cared more about his daughter in the world than this man right now. Like, this is like Barack Obama. Shit, like he is out here loving Malia and Sasha. And that’s exactly what Dr. Alex Murray is doing with Meg Ma. He’s a blonde. He’s a strong black father. It’s a superb, superb little.
S7: I mean, those seem like I don’t know what I’ve said to him, but she said to him at one point, look at that child like she’s your child. You’d have to, honey. And I’m sure she said to him again, when it was the scenes with Google about the role, who plays day Murray like her as if your entire world is in her, which when he walks into the kitchen, bitch, and he sees her, oh, my God.
S18: I was just like, you know, when he was hugging Meg. Like, there was like the thing right where like he hugs her and it’s really tight. And he does like the dad thing right. One arm around the shoulders, the other one with the hand wrapped. You know. And he’s got her like this. And then he like and then it’s like he opens his eyes and he pulls her back and look. And that’s his kid.
S21: That is, you know, and I told mom when I saw this movie, this was not too long after I had had an extremely similar experience with my dad getting out of prison and lag, you know, seeing him and him not knowing I was going to be there when he got to my aunt’s house and him walking in and being like, you know what I mean? And like that hug and then like that, looking at your face, that intensity. And I just you know, I’m at the point now where dash. It turns me on. I’m sorry. I’m just at the point where like seeing A do B in A really like loving, intense, passionate dad. And I’m like, yeah, I could do this for you. Right. I can make this happen for you. But it doesn’t have to be a game.
S8: Chris, you don’t have to be on a set. You don’t have to be. This could be our life. Listen to our life.
S6: We. Speaking of Chris, as a strong black father, there was I’m not taking it, but I mean, that was the picture that circulated his barber, put a picture up on his Instagram. And it is Chris Pyne in front of some hedges.
S8: I don’t know. He’s looking very tropical. He’s got on this gold necklace with the Lion of Judah listed medallion. That’s what the fuck is that? Ivy, FERPA.
S3: And this haircut is a very I’d date black people here. Mm hmm. Chris, black people got only got nickel. Chris Pine is the kind of white man that other black men call king when they see it. But he like the only one like, I guess I was lucky when Chris in the audience clapping because he is.
S8: Rolling on his face. This is a black film has won. And he’s out there crying for Selma.
S28: This motherfucker cry for Selma. And again, the bar is way so low, it’s inhaled somehow.
S9: But like so I mean, he’s been trolled a little bit for those tears. And he’s like, I was just feeling feelings. And I’m like, you know what, Chris? I respect that. Sometimes you have to let the tears roll down because, you know, that legend is out there talking about freedom.
S3: You know what? I felt that I felt that. We just want Chris.
S6: We we see you. Yeah. Yes. And we recognize you.
S2: So if you hear this. Chris Chris Pyne, why law?
S3: Oh, my God. One time I took out my womb room. Oh, my God. I got you.
S6: All right, so Chris Pie, we had to give you a little love. We did. And more than a little, it was important. Yes. Yes. But now we need to move onto another. Another man with great facial hair. Yes. Solid facial hair. Solid facial hair. Sam Elliott. All right. You know, you’ve got some age diversity popping up a hair. I appreciate it. Listen, this is a long one. Yeah. Yeah.
S3: This is that is that is that what it is? It’s a long road. It’s a long road.
S29: It’s just you got to understand, like Sam Elliott, like my grandma was I who I obviously spent all my time with as a kid. I talk about her all the time. It was also really into country westerns. And so I was by default really into country westerns. Right. And I remember watching Tombstone for the first time with my grandma. You really are a.
S18: So then I got all the credentials. I remember seeing that mustache and hearing his voice, which is like it’s not even as country as it is deep. Yeah, right. Right. But he’s not southern. No. No, he’s not very much.
S6: Well he’s very Western. He was raised in California and. Yes, Montana. Wyoming, kind of Oregon.
S8: Yeah. I love that line rant mentality.
S18: So many people think of him as having like a southerner, like being like a Southern guy. Right. You know, his parents are like Texan.
S9: Yes. So like, I feel like they they probably spoke to him in a way that kind of informed how he speaks now to a great extent as well.
S10: Yeah, they pregame game, their mustache candidate always, which really set things off for him.
S21: But it was like Tombstone. I also like watching the movie growing up. I really loved the movie Mask with Cher.
S25: And he was in that and he just kept popping up in movies like I’m in college and, you know, hanging out with all these white boys. And of course, they want to watch The Big Lebowski. And all of a sudden I’m like said Elliott, Sam Elliott.
S17: And I think that, like, what did it for me with Sam Elliott, which is so weird. But it wasn’t until he was on Grace and Frankie that I was like, is Sam Elliott still hot?
S18: Like, I’d forgotten about him for many years and been like. In that get that tombstone guy. Let me tell you. Very into that.
S7: So what is it exactly that you were into when you took it all I got.
S21: I think it’s like I’m kind of always going to have a cowboy thing.
S27: I think just because of the way I was raised, like I always have a thing for like the kind of like the handlebar mustache with like the five o’clock shadow on the Stetson, little bow legged probably in some like some hard denim and jeans. Let me go. And like in like a shirt that’s like a button down Damba open for some reason way in the end there. And the sleeves are cut.
S9: You are right now. I. You were writing a Mills and Boon cowboy character and I’m ready to read that book. I’m very late.
S21: I honestly like. Which is so weird because as me and Nicole knows, I’ve read a ton of romance. I love romance. I don’t usually go for cowboy romance novels for some reason. But there is something about Sam Alea and thinking of him as a cowboy, even when, like, he’s just sitting at that bar and the better that I’m like, I would go sit at that bar, like I would go sit next to him. Yeah. I just hope he start talking to me, narrate some shit about my life. Totally is. I’m very, very happy that this is happening. And then and Grace and Frankie.
S27: That was the first time that I saw a woman and man of that age group have like a sex scene in a movie and not like a sex scene. That was like, hey, we know those old people are having sex over there. But like one that lingered and that was like very sexy in the moment and in it in and of itself.
S17: And, you know, and now he’s everywhere. Like now Sam Elliott is everywhere. He was in a stars born. Made me cry and that shit. I think I’ll be real. I’m be honest. OK. Please. M. Elliot won the best two-foot. Like maybe the best performance in that movie. No, no, no. Maybe. Actually, the best performance. Best performance. And that’s so understated. So understated.
S2: He just gives you exactly what you need. No more. No less. Yes. He just hands it over. And listen, some of it is 75 years old. Yes. He has been around the block. Multiple. Multiple, yes. And yet he delivers. He is such a character actor, like he has done nothing but hone and perfect his craft over all these years. And he brings it every single time, whatever the genre.
S6: Yes. Right. He’s done a lot of things. The mustache. That’s the one. Constant, constant. And really, you know, the constant is like the mustache is frosting for me. What it really is is his voice. Yes. Let’s talk about the voice.
S30: The voice. Yes. OK, I know Sam Elliott, mostly from the best film in the history of Cinema Roadhouse A has.
S8: Yes. Who else does that stuff? By the way, Patrick Swayze. Padgett’s the sexiest ghost in the world.
S6: That’s it. That’s true. Yes, that’s true, too. So there is a scene where Sam’s character comes. What does Garrett Sam’s character, Garret, is coming to look for? Dalton, Patrick Swayze’s character in Dalton’s outback, getting beat up, boss and bully town bullies and shit. And so he comes looking for him and then he goes out back and he joins in the fight.
S31: And I just just listen to his voice mail.
S32: Drone business that.
S31: Want to fight? Sure am going to show you my dick, I.
S13: He always has these incredible one liners. Yes, so delicious with that voice in the can that slow Western ranged kind of voice that he’s like, you know, I got to take my time to say this because I want you to really understand talking about endless. Yes. There’s something about, like you said, that mountain.
S7: Right. He’s he is in he embodies a mountain range. Like you look at him and you think you have been here for ages. Yes. You will be here for ages after I’m gone. You’re like you study. You will keep. You’ll literally a. He’s like a treasure. And I think it’s interesting, because I always think to myself, there must be writers that once they know it’s gonna be some Ellia in the role, they go back to the script and they write in lines for him specifically.
S6: I was I was I 100 percent would if that was me, if they were like, oh, by the way, Sam Elliott’s going to take the. Oh, give me that back. I got to change some stuff real quick. Let me write. Give me the gift.
S7: Do you know what you’re about to get? And delivers it. And I love it because, you know, you go onto his page and you figure out like, who is I’m really like I only know him from, like, I don’t know, 15 separate projects. And it turns out that he, of course, has done a bunch of voiceover stuff. Right. He has been the voice for a number of American brands, including Dodge.
S8: Yes. Including Union Pacific. And my favorite thing, he was once the voice of the American Beef Council. He absolutely. Which sounds dirtier. That actually is why I fucking stay. He listen. That or an open fire. Yeah. Yes.
S3: Everything about this is flooded my basement. I can’t even I can’t even like you talking about me. You talking about family is over fire outside. I’m just like I’m burning up right now. I didn’t feel like I grew up that.
S8: Yes. And he was in justified. Yeah. How could he not be? I know, I. Right. Like you mentioned him. Timothy Oliphant.
S33: I want to take a moment. We all imagined the sandwich that we want to see right now. Wow.
S16: You know what? I feel like we should just like, turn off the lights. Everyone is calm for just a moment. Listen, I just need a private moment, you know?
S18: And when Sam Elliott was a young man, there are a lot of gifts like you could buy Joseph him as a young man because he’s always touching his hair. And there are so many gifts of him when his hair was like around like his ears in a little lower, just like do and like the long hair across like the Broncos got.
S8: I have a Jeff saved in my my phone right now.
S6: That’s him pulling his hair. And it’s I think it’s a game from road from roadhouse where he’s put it back to put it in the body itself. His hair has started to go gray. And he has deep waves and his hair is still thick and luscious. Now he’s cut his hair. He’s cut his hair. You know, it’s a little shorter. It’s always easier to manage for him. Now he’s getting a little older or whatever. It’s fine.
S8: I’ll make it sound like you like alertly a fly love Paul opening his leave in it.
S3: And like it. OK. Boo. We go and get your engines right.
S7: We got Sam. Ellia is really surprisingly poised. And I hear he’s this is the thing like, you know, you sent over your list of people. Yeah. And I always like Somalia. Sure. Like, I know the voice and or the mustache. I’m here for it. But being in this room with the two of you has really helped to open up a brand new door or I’m just thinking to myself, is this what my future looks, perhaps? Yes. Why not? I’m all the way into it. Wow. Sam Elliott. Yeah. Ali. So potent. Yeah.
S34: Slate plus members. It’s survey time, which means it’s your chance to tell us what you think about Slate. Slate podcasts and slate. Plus, it’ll only take a few minutes. You can find it at Slate dot com slash survey.
S7: So we are going to move on, Ash. Yes. From one end of the spectrum to quite another, because your third first object today is an athlete, which we tend not to really cover on the show. So young, a young man, a footballer by the name of Marshawn Lynch.
S11: Say it again, Marshawn Lynch.
S6: Oh, yes. I like him a lot. I need to know what is what is it? I like how we all just want real quiet. I like the hybrid. Hybrid Sam Elliott. And then it’s just like the quiet marveling with Marshawn Lynch rural contemplating life. Well, you know, I’m already I I don’t.
S18: There’s no reason why anybody should, you know, know this about me. But something that, like people who are close to me would absolutely know about me is that I have a really hard time with authority.
S35: And I don’t like anybody telling me what to do. And I definitely if somebody is going to tell me what to do, I cannot pretend to be different. Like I can’t. I’m really bad at that.
S36: And I just remember Marshawn Lynch sitting at that conference and people asking him question after question after question and him responding each time with.
S6: I’m just here so I don’t get fined. And I and I think some people would see that and be like are so childish. It so just be a professional. Just. And all I saw was a man who knew who he was. Yes. Yes. And he was. Hey, guess what? I don’t actually have to play this game just because you want me to. Right. And that just really lit my flame. Right. And it brought up a lot of racial dynamic. Oh, yes. When it comes to football, NFL, national sports in general, but football in particular. Yes. And how these white people, the the fans, the owners. I mean, that’s all we’re calling them owners. They own the teams. Yeah. How they think that the players should be responding and acting and that if they don’t do exactly what they want, they get very upset. You know, they really acted like he was an uppity Negro. Oh, yeah. And they they tried to like they did want to find him. He did get fined at some point because he was not answering prayers. And the thing is, from my understanding, the contract is you have to be there at the press conferences, but you don’t necessarily have to be responsive. No, it was tell he was letting them know I’m here. I’m meeting my obligations. But you can only get so much from me.
S7: Yeah, I think it’s also remarkable because he hasn’t done it once or twice or three times. Like he continues to kind of be like, listen, I’m here to play football. Yeah, I know. I have a contract to kind of do some of this stuff, but I can also draw a line. Yes. And I love when he said after the initial thing of, look, I’m just here so I don’t get fined. He then said the next day, you know why I’m here. Yeah. Like, yes, I will do the absolute fucking bare minimum. Well, you don’t get to ask me for any more than that because I build. I have done what you want me here. Fine. I’m your presence. You know I’m here. Right. And I just remember watching that again. I’m someone who doesn’t understand or watch or like football, American football. But every time I see him, I pause to watch. Like he’s magnetic. Oh, yeah. And I think a good deal of that is knowing that he also truly does not give a full.
S36: He doesn’t. Yes. He doesn’t at all. And for me, you know, I I’m not a person who is traditionally into football, except that I had friends who were. And when my friends are into things like I pay attention and I try to learn a little bit about it. Kelley got really into my husband and got really into football when we were still dating. And he was in Seattle and the big game was coming up and a mushroom played plays for the Marseillaise for played for the Seattle Seahawks at the time.
S37: So it was like him and Richard Sherman, who is also like, I don’t know, like I I also was gonna play Richard Sherman on the on my list, like what I was like. So they have both of the most excellent face like this.
S6: So handsome. Yeah, I think so, too. Collins got dreads and I could pull them. Oh, I do. All right. And sometimes he dresses up his Harry Potter.
S38: Oh, I know. He’s a total now. All Valez, a huge nerd.
S18: So I was very, you know, like I was into them both. But marshon. Just there’s something about like the way he moved like his he added to. Yeah. His refusal to be anything other than what he was not that I thought like Richard was like I don’t think Richard is either, but there’s just something I think just kind of a little bit a little bit dirty about Marcia.
S22: Yes. That’s not a polite way of saying that doesn’t that’s just just no polite way of saying it.
S7: But I feel like he knows a lot of stuff. Yeah. And that’s a little that’s the umbrella term I want to use.
S21: He knows a bunch of stuff, you know, and the kind of stuff that I never would have that maybe I haven’t encountered and I wouldn’t know the specifics that he would be like not as such as such now would be like. He’s right.
S6: Marshon did a commercial for the big game representing Skittles shot where he went to Houston, Scotland, and he’s passing around Skittles to people. And there are two women that he talks to at different points in the commercial because the commercial is fairly lengthy. It’s like a two and a half minute commercial. Again, the money’s worth, Ray. Yeah.
S26: Now he’s being, you know, a little silly with them. He’s like, oh, you know about the big game. OK. And thank you. I’ll know about that.
S39: I hear we got the Super Bowl. You’re familiar with that. I notice this low. You know, it’s so popular, really.
S6: But he is leaning fully towards them. And he is. Yeah. You’re seeing something that is the most interesting thing I’ve heard all day, like he is fully giving a skill.
S27: I am just like, oh, if you see him in interviews talking to people like where? Like he’s asking the question. They let him do some time. He does a foot like that fool lean in. And his eyes don’t leave using gay in a way that like for me would be so overwhelmed.
S21: I would just be talking to him in like really trying very hard to keep my cool. Yeah, but inside, like my body would be like, wow.
S3: That’s why.
S40: I want to play a clip from one of his interviews where he talks about moving through people.
S20: Because he’s so focused on his goals, so less. I know this interview. Yes. Marshawn Lynch is an altogether different from playing against him.
S41: He comes right at you if you just run to somebody’s face.
S42: A lot of people won’t be able to take that over and over and over and over and over again.
S41: They just don’t want that. I think there’s a deeper metaphor there brought to a MOF face, you know, a motherfucker.
S43: Yeah. I’m like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
S26: It gives me so high and high. You assertive and myself. Yeah. You’re not gonna push me around.
S3: So let’s go out. Back up. Yeah. Yeah. Come over here. I’ma run through your face.
S2: You know, wall like I said, like my my my chosen sports are things like tennis. Some football in the way we call it football in my home country. I don’t really do even rugby. I’m okay with from a distance know. But there’s something about, you know, how his nickname is Beast Mode. Yes.
S3: Wow. All right.
S2: I you know, there’s something about Marshawn Lynch that makes me just think what ever is in front of him. He attacks with gusto. Yes. And that is just an incredibly hot idea, like as applied to life. But also, if that focus was on you. What the fuck would that look like?
S3: Think this jump a little bit. Wow.
S26: There is. It’s the idea. You can’t even speak. I know.
S25: Because it’s like this is a this is like, you know, Marshawn Lynch on top of being like this incredible football player. And within just an amazing sense of humor. Yes. His sense of humor is so good. Yeah. On top of all that, Marshawn Lynch, a missing no meals. Right. So when you sit like he’s a big, thick snake. So you think about like being served that for a man like that, that like, you know, I just.
S18: The the fantasy of being devoured by someone with such a healthy appetite.
S6: And plenty of room to run. Oh, my God. And it’s not just. Yeah. It’s not just about I’m going to devour this meal, metaphoric or literal. But he is also want to savor the exams, like not just tunneling through the meal. Yeah. Let me just eat. He is actually like, oh, this was good. This is he’s a dude. He’s taking note of the spice. And he’s compliments. People very freely. When he is moving through his hometown, Oakland and the Bay Area and stuff like that, like reaching out to the kids and stuff like he you see these interviews, he’s talking to people and he’s just making sure that they see that he sees them. Yes. Yeah. And he’s very he just wants the people to know. I recognize. I see. Yes. And I think that comes again from the environment of football, professional football. And yes, like people are not necessarily seeing him as Marsa, but seeing him as what he can do. He’s an asset. Yes.
S20: There’s also I think that there is this dynamic that happens that in high schools that’s pretty unique to America just because of American football, where there’s always I feel like in school, especially when you’re that girl who is kind of like the smart girl or like the girl that like people like but are also lying. But she’s she’s doing something different. Maybe from the rest of us, like whatever it is.
S25: And there’s always this one really nice football player. Who’s really good? Like, he’s really good, but he’s also like in class.
S18: He’s also not a jerk. And like, actually kind of funny and mine. And he’s always the one that people who think they should be invisible to him will be so shocked when he’s like, Hey, how you doing? You right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And Marshawn Lynch to me, gives that energy. Yeah. I’ve liked that football player who’s the one who’s kind of looking out for the people who don’t feel see and like he maybe is not going like young. I’ll hang out after school, but if he sees you in class, he’s gonna be like, what’s up? Did you get that done? You know what I mean? You know, it’s such a such trip. She got us do it, you know, and just make the the smallest amount of conversation that he understands costs him nothing. Yeah. And just means everything to you because of the context of your life. Yes. Absolute. And that kind of emotional intelligence. Yeah. Is something that you I don’t I’m not trying to teach nobody that no more at this point in my life.
S8: At this point in my life if I show up.
S17: It’s and it’s some stuff you got to just already have to to work with. Yeah. And he’s got it. He’s got the tools. He got the. He got he got it dad.
S6: It’s like it’s easy for us to think. Okay. Athletes, urban, you know, environment, inner city, riot, whatever. Maybe he’s not quote unquote smart, but he’s actually very smart and he tries very hard. Yeah, he does. He doesn’t have time to make shit pretty.
S7: He’s like, no, we need to do to get this done. Let’s go. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s just like in keeping with his person. I it seems to me that he is someone who gets stuff done as he just explained on that piece of tape. Yeah. Like run through your face. Right. And I appreciate that because I think LESER was always kind of like a tendency towards like floury ultimately inconsequential noise. Yes. And he cuts through it so cleanly in a way that I think even if you are not into the sport or whatever, because I’m not in any way like I couldn’t tell you shit about his stats. I don’t know.
S2: What I do know is that when I see Marshawn Lynch, a part of me just thinks, like he said, actually, I wouldn’t want to teach you shit like you are coming into this like a fully fledged emotionally intelligent man who also enjoys life.
S3: Yeah. Huh. Marshawn Lynch. Listen, you know what? Ashley, thank you. Because you know what? We let you know. Ashley, thank you.
S7: So, Ashley, we spoke already about three of your first objects, and that’s usually what we keep it to when we have a guest. But the thing is, Ashley, I didn’t if you’re aware of this, you are uniquely on wonderfully made. And so you have. I don’t know. You’ve inspired us to keep this fucking conversation going.
S6: I know, right. You’re such a delight. And you make us talk about these people and such a. I mean, we’re already good at what we’re doing. I mean, let me you know, let me not to toot toot motherfuckin, too.
S3: Don’t go too far like I’m all right.
S12: But Jared, really the out here doing this with the way that we’ve had this conversation.
S13: It’s just been so delightful and so rich. And we want to continue it with a little, you know, a little bonus. Yeah, a little dessert. Oh, yeah. Yes. A dessert. Yeah. And who better to be the desserts than Meghan? The style you owe me big o treat.
S6: Yes. Laughs And Megan, you love you some. I love me some. Megan, tell us. I you know, I think what it really was for me, it didn’t even all the way.
S20: Start with the music, right? It was Instagram. I was on Instagram. You know, you scroll, you see stuff and somebody share this video of Megan, the stallion outside the gas station in Houston, listening to big old freak on the radio. I as you know, she does this, but I like to her heart there.
S17: And I just thought she looked so fine. Like that’s what it was at first. Like, you know, she talked outside the gas station and, you know, and also when Megan the stallion works, that’s not like when I go to the club and see somebody twerking or any talk I’ve ever seen before.
S26: It is other worldly. Like, it’s just like she talks. So you’re like, was there like like it seemed like she got an extra joint or like some like extra oil on her knees and something that helps her do all that.
S8: And I don’t have it. Her knees are lubricated. They got it like. brocaded is it’s just the inside. I’ve seen an x ray. It’s just WD 40.
S11: It is just the one I did for those WD 40 of Vaseline. I’d just like to suck up Zula.
S8: There is nothing less. The bionic. She is bionic.
S18: And I just was like, wow, let me go check her out. You know, because everyone so you see some AI doing some you know, you might do them cute on the Internet now mean they really doing it right.
S11: I’ve followed many a terrible incident and I got one follow up. Well, I was always I thought you were cool.
S21: So I’m watching it. And as I’d like, I go to Apple Music and Apple Music had this freestyle that she had done. So I’m like, OK, well, that’s a really great way to figure out real quick whether or not this is somebody who I’m really trying to be bumpin. Listen to that freestyle. And I was like, she is not sick. She is good. And I was just so and then as time went on and just like watching her and listening to her is seeing how other people reacted to her and how that didn’t to me change the way she did her thing or her life. Like I say it like that.
S27: Anti-authority thing already messes with me like people who really know who they are. That that just pools at the center of me.
S26: And then she had the nerve to be in these outfits with her boobs up and the ass out now was just like, well if it’s if it’s here.
S3: Yeah. Right. Right. Who am I not. I like not to partake of the extra that’s there. Who am I not to partake.
S27: And I just thought like I loved the way she does her thing. I love the way she looks. Yeah. Love. But I love the cure. I love the way she curates her. Look, you can tell that she got a vision for herself and it doesn’t really matter what anybody else thinks or how people throw out what she should do. She’s got a vision for herself and she is on that path like she’s on that road. And that ambition is sexy.
S13: Yes. She’s so ambitious. She’s also in school. She’s still in college and working on her health care management degree because she wants to. She wants to open elderly care assisted living facilities. Yes. So she has several things in mind. And she’s only 25 years old.
S7: Only that she is literally like she is twenty five years old. I cannot imagine having half of my life back together. You know, I look at my the stallion and I think to myself, oh, here’s somebody with a plan. Yes. And again, you just kind of I’m in awe of that. And then, of course, yes, there is the matter of how she looks like. I once texted Nicole like, why does Megan look like that? Nicole’s reply was just one word which told me everything. And she just said, oh, Texas.
S11: And I thought, you know what? You asked a foolish question. You get a solid reply. Just close. I close my text.
S9: And I was given it so magical to look on.
S6: Yes. That Gulf Coast, Southern life. Houston is another place. It doesn’t really. It really is. But she is amazing. And I love the fact that her name is the stallion. Yes. And if you don’t speak southern slang, we have a clip from her own mouth explaining why she is called Megan the Stallion.
S44: The first time I was ever called a stallion, I was 15 and I was like leaving a football game. And this dude. He was way older and he was like, well, mom, are you a stallion? I was like, oh, go to jail. I’ll be paid by our star going out because he scared me. So I had to go home as well. I’ll call my uncle. What is it? You know what hit me? It got me. He was like, oh, Megan, I mean that too tall and fine. I was like, oh, yeah. Hi, I’m.
S45: I. Megan.
S6: 10. Yes, she is. What we like to call stout. Yeah. Built. Yeah. Brick house. Yes, brick. As in like thick and curvy and shapely. It’s all there.
S7: She is like both liquid and solid at the same time.
S18: I feel like in the 70s if I saw her walking down the street, the song that would be playing in my mind would be bad mama jamma. Yes. Like she’s a bad mamma jamma.
S6: Just like if she would just be because you know her striding Schall cause her legs too long. So if she. You got it. You have a song a little bit a better pacing. Yeah. In order to keep up with the stallion. Because you know what I’m saying. She’s a long stride.
S7: I look at her sometimes when she’s. You know what? You know what I mean? Yes. The twerking is out of this world. I feel like her work, like he said, it’s so individual that it could be a fingerprint, like nobody else does it. Like, it’s it’s completely unique. It is what it is. My favorite thing about Megan.
S2: Dallin, though, beyond the just excess of talent and joy is her nose.
S13: Yes, it is the cutest nose in the whole world because it looks like a little blackguards nose. Yes. And then when she smiled, scrunchy reaches out. She has babygirl face. Yes. You know, she looks so young and just free.
S8: Yes. Yes, she does. She looks like she’s unencumbered.
S7: And that’s we know that’s an illusion. We know that only a you know, not too long ago, she lost her mom. Right. She is clearly burdened by life, as all of us are. But there is something about her that is just effervescent, like she reminds me of every little girl I played with when I was a little girl. Yeah. Something just so pure. I’m like, great about her. Like, she’s not putting forth anything except who on what she is. It’s that idea of like the round the way girl, you know what I mean? Like.
S46: Just like that girl. That’s like like island girl. It’s cool. Like, I want a girl that is actually cool, but not cool because other people say she’s cool because that’s never what makes you cool. It’s like they euge when you just know you cool. Yeah, we just like them on the cool shit in here.
S8: Like she said I am that I am that you know and it’s I.
S27: And that just comes off of her in waves. But she does not give me Eragon like she does not give me like overindulgent.
S29: She to me seems free in a way that’s like the real kind of freedom which is the kind of freedom that recognizes where you want to go and what the consequences and requirements are of that journey.
S6: Right. And also, when she starts to blow up a little bit, she made a point to work with be photographed with scene with a lot of other young female rappers that are coming up. Yeah. Because when I was coming up, women rapping, they were very siloed off. And they they were you know, they were kind of pushing this agenda that there could be only one, you know. And but Megan was like, nah, there’s me, there’s a RICO nasty. There’s cash da. There’s all these other different people. Squashy with. Yeah. So she was very. No there’s room for everybody. There’s room for all of us here. And she makes it a point and you know, she’d she’s one of those people who’s like positive vibes only. And I have a little problem with that.
S8: I’m like, say, you know, to be fully human, we have some good negative. That’s that’s kind of negative. But she’s clearly just trying to make sure people are focused on what they need to be focused on.
S13: And like Hot Girl Summer wasn’t doesn’t necessarily about being a hoe and sleeping with everybody, although shout out to everybody who did do. Yeah. Like do your thing. But her purpose with that was just to be like, go for what you want. Go for what feels right for you. For you. And she’s like, you know, she’s 25, as you mention. And she’s like, I’m twenty five. I’m young. I’m enjoying my life. And that means me to working on the stage then. Oh, well, my man gotta be able to understand that. And yeah. Peace out. Peace out.
S9: So there’s just like a really. I mean my one of my most played tracks encodings in my little stat Gowda is of course Speigel Freak.
S2: And there’s something about the way she did everything about it. Like I feel like I’m a fairly confident person. But when I listened to Viggo Freak. You cannot tell me a single shit like you can’t tell me shit like I’m out here.
S7: Generally, I cannot work. I barely have a backside. God bless it. But like, you know what I mean? I can’t do. And to be fair. No, almost no one anywhere. Meghan does. But like I listen to it and I am. I hate to use this word because it has no fucking meaning anymore. But I do feel empowered to just be the best in that little boy that is black. Yeah. I’ve just got to like honestly, like I’m untouchable. I am so great all the time because this song, it just g.’s me up in a way that I cannot I can’t explain. Like no other song on my phone in my music library does exactly what Bagel Free does like it just puts me in a headspace that is just different.
S17: Yeah. Yeah, it reminds me that. I need to honor the big old freakin side.
S3: Yeah, yeah, amazing. True. Yeah. Big old freak inside, man.
S47: They go free to go make him wait for it. She doesn’t need to go skiing. I don’t look him up in the hey, look, he didn’t look in his eyes.
S7: Then the next day I might leave him. I am so, so grateful beyond the usual Yankees for I guess because we agree. But actually, you really did something special today. You helped me and Nicole come out of a place that we didn’t even know we were in. You were so talented, Ashley guy.
S18: I am delighted that we were able to talk about these things and that you were able to welcome me into this space. I’m a huge fan of the show. And I mean, and now I’m just extra feeling extremely blessed of being involved and for getting the opportunity to talk. Now, in this capacity, it’s a different set of two that I’m so excited and happy about.
S26: You love this because we love this and we love you. Ashley, thank you so much for coming in. Wait, can we find you on the Internet?
S20: You can find me mostly on my Web site at Ashely C for dot com, which will lead you to all the other places I’ve been writing all over the Internet. Twitter is ice mash Veysel and Instagram is smash Veysel. Excellent, but you can get there from actually see for Dacca. That’s it. We love a one stop shop. Yes, that’s great.
S6: Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you, ladies.
S48: First aid kit is a slate production produced by Cher, Vincent and as Nicole Perkins and them at 20. Our music is by Tanya Morgan.
S49: Thank you again to lovely Ashley. You can follow her work on Ashley, see forged art form. And she’s also on Twitter. I smash bizzle. You can follow the show on Twitter at first. Eight. Plus, we are on Tumblr at first aid kit podcast, the tumblr dot com.
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S50: We’ll be back next week. In the meantime, don’t forget to tell a friend about us and who we are and what we do here. Stay thirsty.
S10: I heard that like on rotation goes by.
S3: I hate that you said that, but I thought you said he said your whole my whole cycle in rotation. Amazing. It’s like a quarter in the slot. Oh, my God. It’s like a ping pong ball. Oh, my God.
S5: Welcome Slate Plus members to another edition of TACH Plus just for you. You’re welcome.
S7: Nicole, this week has been very interesting because we’ve got to watch some stuff unroll in real time. I am, of course, talking about one man on his hands.
S2: Yeah. And that is why this week’s first aid kit plus is about hands.
S6: Yeah. The importance of cleanliness and just what they do overall.
S2: Listen, it’s one of those things. A couple of weeks ago, we did a Thursday kit plus on feet, specifically women’s feet and their legs. Right. Very important appendages. Yeah. And it comes a desire for a lot of people. Right. But there’s another often overlooked. I think people are sometimes surprised by how much energy goes into fantasy life when it comes to people’s hands.
S6: Right. Right. Because they are very, very important. Very important. And I think, you know, sometimes people just think about hands and nails and like, you know, people who have long nails or they go to get them done. And there’s a lot with nail design right now. But obviously we’re talking about other things. Yes. Like, here’s the thing.
S7: Human beings are different. We have a possible thumbs. And that means we can do a lot more with these little things at the ends of our arms. And when it comes to desire, when it comes to expressions of like thirst or lust, they play a weirdly outsized role because hands are quite small in the grand scheme of the human body. Right. And yet and yet. So we’re going to begin with Mr. Le Keith Stanfield. Now, he, in many ways is the Internet’s boyfriend, right?
S6: We did it. A full episode about him explaining how and why. Right. So much there. Truly. What a gifted, fantastic actor. Yeah. He’s so good. He did something, though, this week that wasn’t so good. He was. Right. He was the cover star. Yeah. Of a recent Bussel magazine profile. And obviously takes a lot of pictures.
S40: You know, you’ve got a series of pictures when you do a profile.
S6: And there were up close to his face. They really were. And he has two pictures with his hands covering his face. Yes. Classic. Classic pose. Right. And we’re supposed to be focusing on his jewelry because he’s got like a gold lion head ring and all this kind of stuff. But something else snagged the attention. We were distracted because his fingernails were very dirty.
S51: I mean, like the first thing I saw like I saw the photo was I got lucky. Yeah. Great. Right.
S7: Like, literally in my head, I was like, look at Bussel following our lead, you know, bangs. But the first thing that caught my eye immediately added me like the second I’m like, Isola Keith Stanfill is a great clicked the link. And then the photo came up and the full eye recoiled.
S2: Yes. Because there’s one nail in particular where it’s long find fine Lavan to too long, just like noticeably. There’s Nael there. And then there’s just like this incredibly low level layer of just like dirt.
S6: And it is a lot to take in. And there’s, you know, people work with their hands off. And there’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in getting your hands dirty. All right. But if you’re going to have them on the cover of a magazine or for a photo shoot, sir, somebody at some point should have been like, let’s just clean this up a little bit. M. de-list the photographer. His assistant.
S51: Maybe some body. Some. I mean, weight to detract from an objectively beautiful man. Yeah. Because all I can see now is, look, Keith doesn’t clean his nails. And it wasn’t just us.
S6: No, it was it was a problem for many different people to the point that some of the Bussel folks that were, you know, tweeting out the article to share it, they were like, okay.
S8: Don’t focus on his hands. Just read the article. Right after the fall, Jenna’s a guy like I did a very good job there. I interviewed this guy. You all read the fucking face and I understood it.
S9: And I really sympathizer empathized with her. But like, those nails are fucking either. So dirty. So much so that one of the co-hosts of Keep It the podcast. Hi, IRA. And friends. Aida tweeted, look, fingernails are the original cause of coronavirus. Now there’s a lot of truly off color jokes about coronavirus. Let’s be very real. People have died. I’m sorry I laughed out loud when I read that tweet because it is so rude and it is so funny. Oh, my God, those nails are dirty. Listen, you have got to wash your hands wash of just putting it on somebody else’s root as fuck. But there’s like so many more things that hands do. And that’s what we’re going to explore. Yeah.
S15: In this little segment, we’re going to talk about the importance of hands and desire.
S2: All right, so let’s move on to the sexy bits, right?
S40: That are very important part of the physical intimacy that people share. Right. You know, and that’s just always romantic. No. Sometimes it’s just about, you know, from parents, a child.
S7: Listen, Ashley, NAILSMA, when she was talking about Chris Pyne in this episode and she spoke a lot about, you know, the the order of the movement. You know, one arm around the body of a child and then the other kind of like clutching the head slash neck. It’s such a tender parental move, right? Because it’s kind of like replicating what they probably did when you were a baby. I support the head. Hold the body. Yes. And parents do that. My mom hugs me with one arm around my neck, another one around my my waist, like. It’s like she’s trying to, like, hold me so close that I’m a part of her again. And I really love because it makes you feel a very specific kind of security. Yes. You know, if you have a loved parent that you know, you love back, there is something just incredibly comforting about being gathered. And the hands are such a big part of the like where they land on. You helped to maintain a very specific feeling. And I love seeing it, especially on screen. Yes, I know what it does for me. So I know what it’s trying to be transmitted when I see that play out on screen. I mean, we started with a little bit of, you know, tongue in cheek, strong black father with Chris Pyne, who is also an excellent hugger of children. Can I just say. Right. But like one of my favorite actual really lovely little moments on screen in terms of father child hugging. Is Uncle Phil unwell? Yeah. And the fresh prince. Yes. He does this thing where he you can see well, is doing this thing where he’s kind of spiraling. He’s thinking about his no good father who has disappointed in time and again.
S15: And Uncle Phil watches him and he’s trying to give him his space. And at the right time, he’s about to collapse, seemingly from just the weights of like reckoning with this. His fuckin wastrel, dad and Uncle Phil does this thing where he reaches for will and his hands come around him. And my uncle Phil is a big man. Yeah. Avery was a big man. Yeah. But the way he gathers him in. Like his hands shoot-out and almost pick will up. Like is about to fall. Yes. And his hands just like grab him and raise him up and pull him into the embrace. Yes. I love that moment so much show.
S6: So. I think he even knocks Will’s hat off his head with a force of his with his hug. It’s such a tender, sweet moment. And it, you know, is probably within the top five moments of Fresh Prince of Bel Air because it’s so touching.
S2: Right. They do touching stuff throughout the rest of the series. But that moment, I think, is just so a feel. I mean, everyone’s acting, obviously, but it’s such an organic hug.
S7: It really felt like it was Phil reaching out to WILESMITH, like pull him in. It was so real. Yeah. And the reason why it resonates all these years later, people will talk about it. How come you don’t want me, Uncle Phil? All of that stuff is just because it’s such a powerful. And again, thinking about the power of your hands like the hug is done with a body. But begin it’s you need that moment of pulling someone in. Right.
S9: OK. So we’re going to move on from the familial and the whole point of hands into like one realm of the sexy, and the thing is, Nicole and I, as observers of hands, we have broken down certain moves.
S15: Now we’ve spoken about the father child hug, the very familial full of security and support, unlike real affection and love. I’m going to take that and throw all of that out the window and focus on the filth that comes with hands. Now, you may remember an episode of Friends many, many years ago with the guest star Susan Sarandon. And she plays like this soap star and she teaches Joey, you know, the basics of soap opera acting. And one of the things that she does is she blocks out the face of her co-star when they’re, you know, in a clinch. Yeah. So as to kind of keep the focus on her. Yeah. And I love that episode very much because suddenly that’s all I could notice was people’s hands on faces.
S2: Now, that is obviously done for comedy. But like truly, I urge you in the next time you’re watching a movie and there is a love scene. Keep your eye on the hands because they tell you so much. They are such a wonderful little subtext of the relationship between the people who are kissing by hand. Placement means a lot. It transmits something different every time. You’re right. And the placement tells you exactly what is going into the case and what people might be getting out of the kiss. Yes. There are so many. There is the hand on the back of the neck. And as a hand on the back of the head, it’s also the hand on the chin. Yes. I’m gonna go through all of these things.
S52: But before we get there, let’s begin, as we mentioned, the bulk of the poll.
S2: And there are some people who are just experts at that shit. One of them, you wouldn’t believe it. And yet we go back and review the tapes, coach. Because it is, of course, Adam Scott playing Ben Wyatts on Parks and Recreation. Yes. Now, Nicole, get into it.
S30: Ben Wyatt and Leslie Knope were such a passionate couple physically with each other, and whenever they would kiss, Ben would pull Leslie in by her waist like, you know, sometimes it would be like right on the side.
S6: Sometimes he was snake his hand around to the small of her back edge to pull her in. Sometimes he would do the whole thing with the hands on the back of her neck, but that reach around the waist that like, again, a very intimate place. You don’t touch people on the waist often. No, it is it is specific to your partner. So to have him just like move his hand and you know, he’s saying this is mine. I have the permission to touch you in this way. Right.
S51: It’s so hot. And the thing also is that because Ben is like just generally quite unassuming person. Right. A little nerd like you. And there’s nothing wrong with that lamina. I love a nerd.
S2: But there’s something about the way you wouldn’t expect that to be this much fire. Yeah. And yet the chemistry truly between Adam and Amy is fantastic. But like specifically between Ben and Leslie, you’re thinking to yourself, oh, they do it all the time. All the time.
S9: Like the main event, not in the government building there at home. And they are not wearing clothes like it is so obvious. Like they chemistry is. So they really. I mean, again, amazing character work where you have this understanding that, yeah. Leslie is like overenthusiastic. She does entirely too much all the time.
S2: But with Ben, she feels like a very different person. This is the person to whom she shows her truest, like most open self. Right. And it’s visible in the way he touches her. He’s so clearly reciprocating everything that she does for him. He does that back. So it’s just it’s so beautiful.
S9: It’s, you know, well, television really is arts. And every so often you meet a master painter like shout out to everyone who made that shit real. So a quick, honorable mention. Yeah, I’ve already mentioned this. I’m sure another episode because everything we’re saying has been said before, but not in this particular context. Mm hmm. Honorable mention to Jake Johnson, who of course, plays Nick Miller in the Coolac is the way he pulls Gessen. Yeah. Truly top 10. Yeah. Really amazing. Another fantastic, honorable mention, Jackin Franey from the incredible Miss Fisher.
S15: Yeah. Again, when they have that little kiss in the airfield where he pulls her in and grabs her just like you just like IRN.
S6: Right. It’s just it’s just. I’m the man here.
S40: And, you know, you’re great at everything else and you have this independent, fiery spirit. But I’m still the man here just for this moment.
S9: You can have control right back after this thing. But in this moment, I’m just gonna pull you into this. I love it so much. All right, Nicole, let’s move on to the head grab. Who are the masters of the head grab?
S6: Schitt’s Creek. David Love ahead grab when he’s kissing Patrick. Listen, it’s so beautiful. He’s got he’s got a big hands. Those ring. Oh, that kind of are adding a different, you know, an extra sensation because they’re probably, you know, cold maybe or, you know, it is a different temperature. So there’s like the hand, the kids and then the rain. Yeah. The head grab. I mean, that’s a pretty common move. Yes. Kissing. And, you know, you went in the example from friends that kind of put a comedic spin on it. Yeah. But if it’s done right. Because like sometimes the hit grab kind of morphs into the neck grab. Yes.
S9: Okay. Let’s talk about the net grab. You know who’s a master of that shit? Who. My one and only Bay. Andrew Lincoln.
S8: Oh yeah. Let’s see. I’ve seen that. You’ve sent me.
S43: You don’t see that anyway. I send them to you specifically like bitch. Look at this. Sometimes that’s my only capture. Look at this in caps.
S6: I want our listeners to know that while I was looking for a specific scene, you know, just to make sure I had the reference. Correct. And I was like, oh, I think it’s this. And Bill was like, oh, yeah, that’s episode this season seven. Episode twelve. Listen.
S43: And she was right.
S9: Like, 7:12 is just legendary for us for stands if you don’t know about it. Ask somebody. 7:12 means a lot to us. Okay.
S43: She was on it.
S9: I literally just ate 7:12 Heaton-Harris in the first 30 seconds of the episode. I know, I know these fucking timestamps by heart because under Lincoln does that shit to me as does deny. Like I just want them to just be in every TV show and movie forever.
S6: They have such chemistry in that good mix of sweet and hot. That’s it. Tenderness. The dominance. The care. All of it all together. Hands on the neck. Yeah. Still makes me also think about Jon Bernthal. Oh, he he’s such a good hand actor.
S7: Especially in like like love or like like romantic scenes.
S6: Yes. Oh, my God. His hip. He put you know, he’s got a big hand because he’s a boxer. Like, very meaty. Yeah. So when he puts his hand on a woman’s neck. Yeah. Like that’s her whole neck in his hand. Yes. But he is very tender and that is just as clear message of I’m strong and I’m here for you. And if you want to be a little weak, you can. Yes.
S15: You know, giving us sort of permission to kind of be like, you know what? Whatever you need to do. Yes. I will wrap myself around that and make it. Yes, it’s very hot. He does this move. And he’s I’ve seen in a couple of scenes where he’s kissing his partner. He did in The Walking Dead. And he did it also in The Punisher, in the Punisher.
S2: And it’s basically this thing where he is kissing his scene partner. And rather than go around the neck or the back or any other usual place, he takes his forearm and he puts it almost on top of the head. Yeah, it’s a real weird and yet incredibly hot cradling motion. Yeah, well, he’s kind of like fitting you into himself.
S9: And when he does that, I am overcome. I am so overwhelmed right now. Because Jon Bernthal is also, as we know, a very good onscreen kisser. Yes. But there’s something about the all motion that every time I have seen that give, I have been arrested for no fewer than seven revolutions. Like I watch that give happened seven times that I’m away. I should be brushing my teeth and leaving the house. It’s a remarkable move because again, I’ve never seen anyone else do it. It’s a unique fingerprint move. Yeah. And I’m just like John Barthel. Fussible. Who taught you that, B? Are you just gonna do this in every single scene? Because I’m very ready to just observe that in every single role you do and see. Can we make sure that Jon Bernthal is kissing someone every single Phil like, can you kiss me?
S8: Let’s just lets us act out a scene. So is it safe? There’s no boundary violation like. Federal. Yeah. I just want to try something. You just see every time you check something that is in the paper that.
S9: We’ve spoken a lot about this. You know, we’ve spoken a lot about the action of hand.
S15: But I also just want to do a very basic thing and just call out the bigness of hands. Yeah, just basically we’re just going to power through this because we know all the stereotypes. There is actually no link, right. There’s no correlation between hands, size or any other appendage. Right. Yet it persists. And the reason why is, of course, there is something about a size differential that is always very hot. And one of my favorite examples of this is in the BBC adaptation of North and South Elizabeth Gasol’s novel with John Thornton and Margaret. And there is a scene at the very end of the series where the two of them are reunited at the train station. And there’s a moment when, you know, she’s saying all the words. She’s very nervous and she’s trying to keep tears back because, you know, she loves John. And she doesn’t think there’s a chance for them anymore because she think she’s Bulls it up and he’s looking at how we just like the wildest tenders. Richard Armitage, Man Festival, shout out to your nose. I want to do stuff with it. Wow. Yes, yes. Yes. Perfect. No. I mean, truly.
S2: And then the other thing is that he is so large in this. Yeah.
S7: And there’s a point when he kind of holds her her face and his hand is essentially the entire width. Like if you put his hand makes you a face, it would cover her face. It’s such a big hand. And the first time I saw that, I was a quite handsome in that choked voice because I was like, what’s happening? And then she pulls his hand down and she took both her hands wrap around his one big hand. And it still doesn’t cover all of it. It’s a fucking big pool, right as she raises his hand to her. This is the back of it.
S15: It’s something that you don’t often see women do to men. And I love that scene because she is overwhelmed with love, with gratitude, with all these feelings. And she can’t put it anywhere except just to kiss the back. And it’s a very lingering it’s like her lips remain on the back of his hand, like long seconds. And all the while he’s looking at her. His eyes as soft as fucking butter. He’s just like in love with her. And she kisses his hand and then she puts the hand down. And then once his hand is free, he keeps a face again. And then he kisses the fuck out of her. And first of all, I was like, well, that’s wrong, because we weren’t kissing on train platforms back in the day, actually. But take your time. But there’s something about the size of his hand and how she treats him so tenderly that I just thought for the sake of just having one moment where it’s directed the other way. I love that scene so much because it is a woman sharing tenderness to a man in a way that I find really rare. I’m just incredibly sweet.
S6: Yeah. And also just very erotic. Keanu Reeves. Oh, has big hands. He is a motorcycle enthusiast. And so he works on motorcycles. You co-owns a company that builds custom motorcycles. So his hands are big because he is working on. Engines in machinery. Yes. Oh, man. There’s this one, Jeff. I have a him on his hand, like he’s got his face in his hands, you know, and then he’s gesturing with it and kind of pulls his hair out of the way and his hand is as big as his own face. And that’s a big face. Oh, my gosh. But there’s also this moment that this very difficult moment that went around from one of his more recent films. That was actually not great. It’s called Siberia, but it is a sex scene. And he is on the bottom and his woman is riding him and she’s like, really giving into it. And so what he does is he takes his thumb and he licks his thumb and then he puts it down where?
S8: Out of right. Yes. Out of frame where the two of them have joined. And I was like, oh, my God.
S15: We put that gif onto Thursday. Yeah. And the replies were mostly not safe for work. Yeah. Because everyone was overwhelmed. Yes. Because it really was. Yeah. It was a scene.
S7: It was a again another gift that I let go by before I closed the tab. And what about my day. We appreciate that. I guess our final category, of course, when it comes to hands is musicians. Yeah. Musicians. People talk a lot about like lung capacity. And that’s wonderful for many. A blower of a horn. Well, let’s talk about the strings, people. Let’s talk about the keys people and shout out to John Legend, who I don’t fancy. But every time he’s playing the piano, my Chrissy, I get it.
S6: Yeah. You know, there limber a little long because he’s he’s not a tall man. But obviously, his fingers, you know, they have to reach the keys, you know, that’s it. That’s exactly what they do. I you can tell that he takes care of his hands again because you never know, like who’s gonna be filming him and all this kind of stuff. So his hands are very nice and long and I like them a lot. I also like Gary Clark Jr., who is a guitar player and singer. I like guitar players. I I did not realize how much I like them. I’m sorry, but you like friends. So you like Ray like guitar players? I like friends. I love Jimi Hendrix. I love Lenny Kravitz. Just put all the little white skin, afro, whatever. Big hair, man. Give them to me playing guitar. Cause I you know, I’m fascinated by musicians. I don’t have a musical bone in my body. So to see that, you know, they can do so many different things with their hands at the same time, which is very helpful in other places.
S8: And that’s very true.
S15: I think the thing that I love about musicians essentially is the implied dexterity. Yes. Like if you are doing stuff with all these wonderful instruments. Yes. Whether that be woodwind, percussion, whatever it is, it’s kind of like looking at the hands of a surgeon.
S2: Yes. It’s not like you are doing something very precise, something that requires a great deal of skill and like practice. So like. All right, come through focus.
S6: Yeah. And I love one of the things I love. And, you know, if I run into a musician that I end up dating or something like that, and they have their you know, their hands hurt because they are using all the muscles, I like to rub their hands and give them like a little massage.
S40: And it’s just a again, a very personal moment between two people. Right. You know, it’s a very sweet thing because, you know, these musicians, they don’t want anybody just touching their hands because their hands are their livelihood. Right. And so the fact that they’re giving you permission to be, you know, a caretaker in this way, I think that’s very significant in your relationship and in what that means to them. So I I like doing that.
S30: And I just like, you know, holding their hands and just touching. Yeah. Yeah.
S15: Is intimacy. And I think that essentially we started off this whole thing with the importance of washing your hands. And remember, the World Health Organization suggests you sing the Happy Birthday song twice as you scrub vigorously. Don’t forget the webbing. You got to do all of that. But we’ve moved into essentially what I think is the real essence of the point of your hands, and that is for creating sensation. You’re supposed to touch people. You are supposed to share something. And when it is done really well and when it is portrayed really well on the big screen or the little screen, there is something that moves in you. I think it’s a very human urge. Like all of us at some point go through life touching other people, hopefully with love and care and intention and carefulness. Like a lot of people touch people without any care. And I think one of the things we love responding to is when you see the opposite of that, when people are actually taking the time to touch someone with intention and with care. And that is what is the hottest thing about all the things, all the examples that we have given is that they are illustrating a. Of tenderness and love. Yes. Isn’t that what we all want?
S6: Yes. Even in the hottest of moments, there still needs to be tenderness and care and familiarity, like a bit of knowledge between two people share knowledge between two people.
S50: That’s it. And that’s where we end this segment of first aid kit. Plus, I go out there and wash your hands.
S49: Moisturized. Yes, please use the lotion. Come on.