Enjoy the Ball With Abby Wambach

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S1: The following podcast contains explicit language.

S2: Welcome to Mom and dad are fighting Slate’s parenting podcast for Thursday, October eight, to enjoy the fall edition with Abby Wambach. I’m Elizabeth New Camp. I write the Home and Family Travel Blog. That excuse I’m the mom to three, little Henry eight, Oliver six, and Teddy, who is now four. I am located right now in Nevada, Florida, but we have another hurricane headed out, so we’ll be very happy. And Mealamu, I am a writer contributor to Slate Care and Feeding Parenting column and host of Slate’s The Kids Are Asleep and Mom Too. Nyima, who is seven. And we live in Los Angeles, California.

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S3: I’m Dan Coates. I’m a writer at Slate and the author of the book Happy Family. I’m the dad of Laura, who’s 15. Harper who’s 13. You live in Arlington, Virginia, and I’m excited to talk about sports.

S2: Yeah. So we have a special sports show for you. Listeners today will be joined by the one and only Abby Wambach. For those of you that don’t know, Abby has won two Olympic gold medals with Team USA. She’s a FIFA Women’s World Cup champion and is in the National Soccer Hall of Fame. And she’ll be here with us today to answer questions about helping an athletic kid harness his potential. Then we’ll be answering a question about dealing with those parents yelling from the sidelines. You know, the ones the ones who are so intense about the game that you think they were either the coach of a college team or had money on the line and as always, will have triumphs and failures and recommendations. Usually we’d save this for the business, but we’re so excited. We want to let you know now, if you’ve ever listened to us and wondered, hmm, I wonder what their faces look like. Well, you’re in luck.

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S4: We have a live mom and dad are fighting show next week, Wednesday, October 14th. We’ll be live on Facebook and YouTube. It’s at 8:00 p.m. Eastern. So mark your calendars. Plus, you’ll be able to ask us questions live. It will be fun, so don’t miss it. One more time will be streaming live on Slate’s YouTube and Facebook pages, as well as in the parenting group at 8:00 p.m. Eastern on October 14th. For links and more information, go to Slate dot com slash live. All right, Djamila, do you have a triumph or a fail for us this week?

S5: I have what could be categorized as either depending on how you view it. So the other day, Nam and I were at our our new digs. We were running around trying to get stuff. I don’t know, this was like maybe the last day, like we moved for days. Like, I definitely spent one day driving back and forth between the two houses. And I think this was that day. So I was also like trying to feed her because, like, I don’t eat all day, you know, like I like I can go all day without eating. I will think about food. And then she’s like, hi, you have to feed and water me, like, regularly. And I was like, oh yeah. And so I go to my supermoms snack or lunch. Hopefully it was a snack I can’t remember of two croissants from Starbucks has one is inadequate, but we’re also not starving, getting a real meal. So you can have two questions and feel like you’ve got a little something on your stomach for a second. So we’re in like a super big hurry. I can’t remember if I was like in a rush to get her back to her dad or, you know, or whatever it was like. Everything’s Time-Sensitive at this point. And so I go and get the signs and we are perhaps back at the house real quick, back at the new apartment and then heading back out. And she’s like, oh, they only gave us one cassette. And I’m like, What? And so we have to go back to Starbucks. We’re already behind with whatever because justice for my child. And so I didn’t look in the bag because I’ve got like there was literally like a bottle of juice or a bottle of water and sewer. Sounds like there’s no way that like I don’t need to double check to work on this. So I look at the Starbucks to double check like, yes, I did, in fact, order to exercise. And so I pull over right in front of Starbucks. And somehow between when I got out of the car and got to the front of the line, my app was leeching. So I couldn’t even see my most recent order. I could see like my order from a few days passed. But the guy had it on his system. I said, hey, I was only given one question. So he pulls it off. He because I paid for supersize, he’s like, OK, and he gives me another one. And so I get in the car, I get to where I’m going. Long day, very long day, drop her off at her dad’s house. And so finally, at the end of this very long day, I’m in the car. I was getting ready to go for a little walk and have a little mom self care time with little greenery, if you will. And I see the Starbucks bag. I’m like, oh, you know, let me get the garbage out of the car. And there’s a whole astrocyte in there.

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S1: What a gift to you from Naïma.

S5: It was literally so like my child left me and she sneck know. I’ve been wondering because she’s been in her dad’s house since this happened. She comes back today. How in the hell do you hold, Chris, that? And not only was it so they one was warmed and one wasn’t the one that she left was warmed. Nyima does not like it when they. ARMPAC and I realize, like, I accidentally ordered one one to one, so she told me that now I’m really litigating this in my head for the first time because I’m laughing about this all weekend, like, how could she miss an entire night? And I’m like, wait, you can’t miss out Cristine.

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S1: So she gave you a gift, so you got to go for a little walk, have a little smoke. It’s like being on the left Bank of Paris in nineteen forty eight. So nice.

S5: It was so good. It was so good and right on time. Like exactly when I needed it. Big try and find adoptive parents.

S1: Now the power is to go back into Starbucks ten minutes later again and just say the exact same thing and see how many times they will continue to give you Croissance.

S5: I think that’s a very good idea. I very excitedly joined the next door app so I could track our new neighborhood, but like I designed it before we moved. So I was like, oh well, in the meantime, I can be messy and like not messy, but nosy about the current neighborhood, so you can only change it. Is there no 30 days. So I had to wait. So today was the first day that could change. It’s a new neighborhood and I’m like obsessively checking it to make sure that, like, nobody is like or I’m planning to obsessively check it to make sure nobody is like complaining about me walking around and smoking. But I also now have to think about, like, well, some Starbucks barista. Does anyone know the lady with the little girl and the convertible who comes in here stealing presents because that little girl is so cute.

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S1: And I’d give her a Christmas every day if I could.

S5: That’s probably exactly. Oh, yeah.

S1: She’s a good one. I like that story. Definitely a triumph in my opinion. I also have a triumph. Our family has been in a real weekend rut recently. I mean, it hasn’t really felt like it because we’re all we spend our weekends basically doing things that we each enjoy. Right. Like I’m writing and playing tennis and Ali is gardening and Harper’s playing with a friend, Lyras, on our computer. The thing she enjoys and you know, sometimes we go out and play pickleball or whatever. But, you know, our weekends have been very samey for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks. And we just haven’t gone out, really, because you can’t go out. Right. But the other weekend, our friend Leslie mentioned like maybe two o’clock or something on Saturday afternoon that, you know, she was busy that night because an orchestra that she’s in, Leslie, is a semi-professional, very good oboe player. She mentioned that her orchestra had an outdoor concert in DC, just that some big apartment complex had hired her orchestra to just play in the courtyard on Saturday evening so that the residents could sit on their balconies and listen to them. That’s lovely. It just dawned on me that, you know, Jesus, I really miss going out and doing stuff and it is now actually possible to go out and do things safely. So all four of us went downtown and we got sandwiches and we listen to Dvorak’s New World Symphony by a fountain and then we got ice cream. And at the end, Lyra was like, oh, that was really nice. I like that. And so then this weekend we did it again. Not we didn’t go listen to the New World Symphony again, but this time we went to the zoo because the National Zoo is now open with time to entry. And, you know, our kids are old enough that they don’t really care about the zoo anymore. But that wasn’t really the point. We just met some friends there and we all walked around and we looked at cute babies and saw the elephants. And we all wear masks and we got ice cream, obviously. And then once again, at the end of it later, it was like, oh, that was pretty good. That’s pretty good. I like that. So obviously, it’s a great lesson to learn that the way to get Liara to enjoy going out is to almost never do it. But I’m also just pleased in general with us, with it, like sort of finally dawned on me that, oh, we’re six or seven months into this pandemic. The world is mostly still closed, but like people are starting to figure out safe and fun things that you can do out in the world that aren’t just like sitting under a heat lamp at an outdoor cafe and we should find those and do them. I know Elizabeth is laughing at me now because she’s been doing all these things every weekend for her entire life, including the pandemic. But, you know, we just had been we’d met a little bit stuck. And so my triumph is that I feel good that we got ourselves unstuck. All credit, by the way, to Hollier, who is the one who made it all happen, and me credit for taking credit for it.

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S4: And the real moral is ice cream equals good time that.

S1: Yeah, that’s true. I Lyra’s quotes were both immediately after the Dagley wait.

S6: If I leave the house I get ice cream. Right.

S5: You can add to literally anything make it better like I have. Most of my aunts and uncles are Jehovah’s Witnesses and at one point when I was a kid, my mother perhaps had surgery or something and I had to go stay with one of them for a couple of days. And I had to go on field service, as in like knocking on people’s doors, which for me, like being to just not being my religion. And that’s something that I was enthusiastic about just as a kid with a little bit of anxiety, like the idea of knocking on strangers. Ours was horrific, it was terrifying on Halloween, at least then there was candy on the other side and so I had to do that. But on this particular occasion, I remember there was a promise of Dunkin Donuts afterwards and I soldiered on.

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S1: It is amazing the shit you can get kids to do if you just promise something afterwards. Exactly.

S6: All good outings should include some kind of treat.

S1: Jimmy, that just reminded me of when I had a paper route when I was 12, 13. Every fall, the district manager would take a bunch of kids out to canvass, to knock on doors, to try and sell subscriptions to the Milwaukee Sentinel. And so we would just be like wandering neighborhoods in Milwaukee, just like knocking on doors. But at the end of it, we always got to go to Burger King. That was huge. We could and he would just buy whatever the fuck we wanted a Burger King. So, man, I never sold a single subscription, but I ate Burger King two or three nights a fall. I had the paper out.

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S6: And I think you still hate Paul after all of that.

S1: But you’re right. You’re right. Elizabeth, what about you trying for fame?

S6: OK, I have a. It was Teddy’s birthday this weekend, and happy birthday, Teddy. And yes, he is the lovely age of four. But I think that there’s something about having a birthday this far into the pandemic that causes my in-laws and my parents to. They did. I want to first say they sent a lovely gift of a of a space costume for him that he adores. They also included I have a prop. This also came. Do you know what this is? This Teddy Teddy Ruxpin. So Teddy Ruxpin is a small animatronic bear.

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S4: Take the cassette tape in the back from the eighties and was a popular children’s toy.

S1: And so the cassette tape plays his voice and that is little daemonic mouth moves along with what the cassette tape is saying and his eyesight. He was a the right like there was a Saturday morning cartoon show for a couple of years. Yeah, it was a big deal.

S6: He came with all of the outfits, all of the cassette tapes. My four year old Teddy is terrified of it. But guess who loves that, guys? Oliver Oliver loves it. The tapes are so worn down that it sounds like the devil himself speaking out of this.

S3: I’d like to hear Teddy Roosevelt say something.

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S6: Just I don’t know what tape is in here, but we will now. I forgot how to turn it off for a while because.

S7: Oh, a Christmas CD is the worst possible.

S6: He’s dressed like me, he has one like he can wear with many outfits and a giant worm that hooks from his butt into the worms, but which my children’s love, the worm, does not work at all. It just makes a creaking robot sound. Guys, I don’t know what to do because this is truly horrifying. It’s horrifying. This is Oliver’s glowing review of this, not his gift. But Teddy said he could have. It was like he looks soft, but he’s not soft because he’s a bad robot. So but all night we heard this thing turning on because Oliver would just as he woke up, would turn it on using the volume side. And it’s nice and loud singing the Christmas thing. They’ve learned to reroll the cassette tapes. So thank you, dear in-laws. I mean, the Faile is like that. This is in my home like that. Like, I, I not sure how I let this like how did I not pry open the package. How did I not put an end to this? You know, his mom was like, we’re sending something that Jeff loved that I just know this is just actually telling. Then he remembers none of the outfits, though, and this is the one Oliver picked it in like a nice little snow hood. I mean, he wears like these overalls because his body is hard, because it has a cassette, because he’s a bad player. He’s a bad robot.

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S3: I have taken a screenshot of Teddy. OK, well, I could also take a picture. I can post it. No, no, I got a good picture. OK, we’ll be posting this on this page as well so you can see this horrifying there. Please enjoy.

S8: I guess before we move on, let’s do the business tonight. Thursday, October 8th is Djamila Slate. Live show the kids are asleep. Make sure you tune in. She’ll be joined by Alexa Johnson, senior adviser to presidential candidate Joe Biden. They’ll be unpacking the vice presidential debate. Tune in at 10:00 p.m. Eastern, 7:00 p.m. Pacific. And we’ll have links to Slate’s YouTube and Facebook pages in our show notes or check out Slate Dotcom live. We’ve got a lot of amazing parenting content coming at you these days. Slate’s parenting newsletter is the best place to be notified about everything, including mom and dad are fighting. The kids are asleep. Ask a teacher care and feeding and much, much more. It’s a fun personal email from Dan each week. So sign up at Slate Dotcom Slash Parenting Email. If you need even more parenting advice, join our parenting group on Facebook. It’s super active, it’s moderated and it doesn’t get too out of control. Just search for Slate parenting on Facebook.

S9: All right, we’re back. And here with us is soccer legend Abby Wambach. Thank you so much for joining us, Abby.

S10: Oh, are you kidding me? Thank you for having me. Like, this is such an honor. I love you guys. I love your podcast. Let’s do this.

S4: Well, we’re so excited that you’re going to be helping us give some advice. So, as always, our question is being read by the fabulous Shasha Leonhard to your mom and dad.

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S11: My kid is weirdly athletic and I don’t really know how to deal with it. He’s four. I know. I know. I’m asking this very early. And believe me, I know how it sounds. But he’s really intense about it. He’s been obsessed with soccer since you started walking. And he’s a huge kid, extremely high energy. When I was a kid and my mom forced me to do soccer, I spent my time sitting in the grass and hoping nobody would pass to me. But my kid willingly spends hours at a time in the backyard, just like dribbling around and shooting in the goal we set up for him because of his size. We asked his youth soccer organization if he could move up out of their preschool program and into their rec soccer league a little early. He had his first game the other day and was running roughshod over kids who are almost two years older than him. I assume that when we moved him up, things would even out. But seeing him play has made me have a bit of an internal crisis. I want to support him in whatever he’s into, but I also feel like I need to emotionally prepare myself for this not being something he grows out of. I’ve always been a non athletic nerd and sports moms kind of freak me out. How do I encourage him in this thing that brings him so much joy and help him grow to his fullest potential, whatever that might be? When will I know that this is something that he might like, make his life’s passion? Should I start investigating special schools or something? I really have no idea about any of this. Thank you.

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S9: So, Avi, what advice do you have for our letter writer?

S10: Well, I’m not really in the business of giving advice. What I am, though, is I’m an expert in the world of soccer. What I would say first and foremost is congratulations. Like it sounds like this mother is so stressed. It sounds like you’re so nervous that your kid. He doesn’t have a disease or is unhealthy in any way, like he’s a perfectly healthy kid, doing perfectly normal things. So first and foremost, just let’s all take a breath, right. And understand that you’ve got a long road ahead of you and raising this child all the way through his 18th birthday. OK, and this is probably not going to be a problem. This is a good thing. So embrace that. Secondly, I think for me, I’ve got three children of my own and the only wish I have for them is for them to find something that they’re passionate about. And then they go after and then it challenges them and then it forces them to look at themselves or question. And for me, that’s exactly what this child seems from your letter to be exhibiting. This feels like something that either comes natural or this is something that he’s taken on as a passion. Right. And it’s soccer. It’s sport. It doesn’t mean that he’s going to become a professional athlete, OK? It might mean that, but it doesn’t mean that he’s going to become a professional athlete. And you don’t have to worry about those things right now. Oftentimes, our kids will guide us. We just have to embrace that. I think that too often we put our own selves in the perspective of the child that makes us live vicariously through our children. It’s a joke, right? Like he’s going to tell you in any kind of way. You just have to listen what he wants and how he wants it. It’s the job of a parent to put your children in environments for them to thrive. If he’s already passionate about soccer and he’s already doing it in the backyard like you are in such a small minority, you know, I’ve got to force my kids. I’ve had to force my kids to learn how to work really hard outside and and put their body through immense trial. And this whole story makes me think of my mom, because when I was four or five years old, I played in my first rec team and it was a coed team as scored twenty seven goals in the first three games. Now, my mom pulled me off the field when the games were over and she’s like, OK, so why’d you pass the ball more? And I just like matter of fact that he said, well, isn’t the whole point of soccer to score more goals and the other team and if I can do that better than anybody else, then what’s the problem like? These are the rules that were handed to me and I’m playing within them extremely reasonable. So reasonable and also like super cocky. Right. So I think that she realized at that point, OK, there’s going to need to be a little bit of force, that she applies a little bit of pressure, that she applies to make sure that I don’t grow into that kind of cockiness, that she was a little bit afraid. So she started early on driving humility into my bones and into my flesh. And it took I really do believe in the concept of team. I think that that is our job as parents. Right, is if your kid does find the passion and you think that, like, well, you know, you’re not a sports person as a parent and how you’re going to learn the stuff that’s actually a positive. Right, because you’re not going to be putting yourself in a position to tactically break down his games or or go to all of his practices and try to coach him. Right. Like leave the coaching up to the coaches. I’m not going to say that all coaches are experts, but at least they’re in the position. And it gives a kid this idea that there are other people outside of my parents that are in positions of power that I have to listen to and I have to learn from and I have to respect. Right. So I don’t know. You know, kids like this have a tendency to continue on and they will teach you and they will show you the road. But it’s it’s our job as parents to just ensure that we’re putting our kids in environments where they are growing. Right. So just keep doing what you’re doing. And three things that we share with our kids when they walk off the soccer field. Questions and comments. Right. No. One, I love watching you play, period. Number two, how did that feel? How did it feel out there? And number three. What was something that you learned today that you didn’t know before, and that is it, that is all you need to say to your kids after soccer games, because anything more, you are indirectly telling them that your love is conditioned on them being good or or not messing up on the field. The whole thing with sports is making mistakes and dealing with it and making mistakes and dealing with it. This mother and the son, you might have a full life ahead of you that is completely soccer involved. And also in seven, seven years, maybe this kid decides, hey, I’m going to take a piano or I’m going to take a theater or I’m going to take up something totally different. And that’s also going to be a part of your job. And your role is to encourage and create that environment for that kid to succeed. Because the one thing that I know is if I could go back and tell my mom to do certain things in me would be like, hey, how about you sit down and read with me a little bit more? How about we focus a little bit more attention on some human elements that I missed because I was a little bit too focused on soccer? And she might argue, well, it worked, didn’t it? You know, and I get that. But at the end of the day, our jobs as parents is to make sure that we try to give our kids the environment for them to completely thrive as a full human, not just like athlete. So, yeah, don’t worry about professional sports yet. Like that will happen if and that’s an outcome that’s so far away to not even stress about or worry about at this point.

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S1: For someone who doesn’t give advice, that’s very good advice. You know, this mom is in a unique position because it seems like a lot of her anxiety is wrapped up in her own view of her own non sportiness and her sense that she doesn’t know or care about sports that much. But she also can view this as an opportunity. Right. She has an opportunity to basically learn this game at the same time that her son is learning it. And I know a lot of non-athletic parents who never cared about sports before, who found that they really fall in love with the sport because their kids love it. And so if this mom is interested in sort of trying to figure out what soccer is and how she might fall in love with it, what are some things she can do with her son to help maybe see if this is something that she might learn to like?

S10: Yeah, I mean, watch it right there. I mean, nowadays you have so much more soccer or football being played on television or you can watch it from European soccer to American soccer, like there are places that you can watch this game that has when I was growing up, there was no soccer to be seen on television. And now every weekend you can watch EPL, you can watch La Liga, you can watch so many great soccer games happening with your son so it can become a family unified experience and like an event that you do as a family. And the other side of that coin is that my mom still does not know what offside is. So if it doesn’t interest you, you can be there for your kid, watch the games with him, and also still have no idea what’s going on for the whole of his career. And you’ll still be fine. My mom is proof of that.

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S5: I think it would be really cool to find the intersection of your interests and things that you want to do and experience with your child and their interest in soccer. So, you know, he’s four. So this is around the time where you’re starting to teach him to read, write or reading a story book at night is oftentimes a part of your daily ritual. Or maybe it’s something you’re doing in the afternoon to read books about soccer. Right. Like you’re a nerd. He’s an athlete. Now, there you go. You can you can read about sports together.

S12: I’m not a huge sports person. I something I wish was encouraged in me as a kid in ways that it wasn’t my parents. Let me appreciate. I was given the freedom to. If you want this, go for it. But if you don’t, we’re not pushing you. I wish there had been some nudging. My daughter is really into sports, particularly basketball via her father and something that he’s always been really intentional about that has also helped to connect me to it a little bit is watch women’s soccer too. You know, just because you have a son, you shouldn’t assume that the only soccer players that he wants to see are men. You know, and me, I always liked basketball, but watching women play basketball is infinitely more gratifying for me. You know, like, it’s just really getting to know some of their backstories and just seeing them on social media. It’s really made it a great experience for me. So I don’t think that because you have a son that he’s only going to want to see boys. And I think it’s also in terms of raising a progressive son who has a healthier relationship to gender than most folks are trained to have, exposing him to women soccer. As well as men’s soccer could be really helpful.

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S10: I love that answer. I love that answer so much. It’s so good because especially our women’s national team and the success that they have in the World Cup, you know. Our women’s team is wins, and so if you want to get behind that winning team, you just had your kids sit down, watch the women’s national team play in any game or any tournament, you’re going to find some really amazing soccer players and and also be fighting for women’s rights and also learning the art of feminism. Even just watching women’s sports is an act of feminism and activism to its core.

S1: There’s no currently more fun team to watch the U.S. Women’s National. So you’re not you’re certainly not accepting some lesser version of the sport exactly. In that team.

S4: I love how you pointed out, like when your mom asked you about, like, why didn’t you pass the ball? Because I think so often as parents like these things that our kids are very into and very passionate about are often the places where we should be the most hands off, like letting them lead that way, but looking and then saying like, well, what are those other areas and how can we parent them in those places and how can we parent them through this thing that they love? And I mean, Jamila, you talked about reading books, which I love, but also talking about this like character development and these other things that come, I think with in society, like kids that are good at sports, get these other benefits. A lot of times, like your child is bigger and he is Rafferty’s running over these kids. And there’s that’s that’s great in the sport. But how then do we also teach them, like off the field, those rules and those about being a team player and about being a team player with your team, even the people who aren’t as good and looking for those opportunities as well, I think is an important part of parenting, someone who is really enthusiastic about the sports, like making sure that they’re well-rounded but still enthusiastic. I also had written down that I think the more you can let them play and put them in places to play, the better. Like we talk about so much the importance of practice. But at this age, that’s like about encouraging them to play, bringing the soccer ball with you and letting them practice when you go to the park and having that available to hone those skills on their own when they want in a really fun environment. Because I think often that as we get older and you could definitely speak to this, like at some point the sport can become not fun and more of like work and a job. And I think so much of the foundation you can play now is like this is really fun and you really love that. And that’s awesome.

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S10: Yeah. I think that something that you said just really hit me. First of all, European soccer, where soccer is really famous and arguably better, that is a very big tenet of the way that they let their younger kids in the younger youth programs develop is just they’re not getting them in too much of a structured environment. They just let them go out and play and enjoy the ball. So they say just enjoy the ball. Right. And I think that that’s super important because you right, as you get older and you get more you get more advanced, you get into a system that is created to literally pump out pros. Right. And that does feel like a job at some point. And just to go back to what you were saying, the beginning, something I think is really important for parents to understand about sports is that there is so much to be taught. Right. But the deal is, is the kid has to learn the lessons. It is not for a parent to teach them the lesson that they are hoping their kid is going to learn. It’s up to the parent to ask questions when they walk off the field. Right. Don’t tell them what you think that they should learn. Ask them questions. You know, psychology and science is is in my corner on this. Like the kid has to learn the lessons themselves rather than being forced down their throat by their parents. And like all human beings understand, like when our parents tell us something, we don’t want to listen, whether it’s true or not. Right. So let the child come to understand some of these concepts about teamwork and pride and jealousy and competition. Like all of those things they will learn, but not when you are teaching them. Right. This is why we put the kids in sports so that they learn it from their peers or their coaches.

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S13: Teamwork, leadership and pride are big issues at play in your book Wolfpack. And so we wanted to make sure to talk about that a little bit. It’s out now. It’s called Wolfpack the Young Readers Edition. So tell us a little bit about who is this book for and what are you hoping that they are going to pick up from this book?

S10: Oh, yeah. So I wrote this book because a couple of years ago I gave the commencement speech at Barnard College. And from that I was able to turn that speech into a book called Wolfpack, and it’s a book for adults. And I decided I wanted to adapt it for the next generation because I felt like the concepts in it are applicable to kids also. Right. And I believe deeply that there’s no more. Time then right now to hand the children of the world books about leadership that are based on honor, right. I think that so much of what we’re seeing in the world feels so confusing to our kids and ourselves, by the way. And so this book. Right, it’s it’s a compilation of stories that tries to teach leadership rules and lessons that I learned from playing on the women’s national team. And there is a direct correlation to our success on the field. And this book, it’s literally like the most pared down version. If I were to if I were to hand this book to somebody said this is how our women’s national team found success again and again and again and so can you. Right. And so I talk about lessons in this book and rules. And a lot of what I believe is that kids don’t feel like they have the power to make a decision for themselves. Right. Because their parents are ruling their lives or whatever. But this book can give a kid the sense that they can decide what they eat. Right. They can decide how often they’re exercised and they can decide what they’re doing with their mentality and how they’re approaching certain philosophies of failure and and overall, obviously, leadership. So for me, this book is about giving kids the tools to become the leaders that they dream of being one day and then also a platform and understanding of how we need to collect our pack, collect our people to do life with. Right. We hear this cliche all the time as you become who you hang out with, like your environment. And it’s true, right? If we are hanging out with kids that are vaping, if we’re hanging out with kids that are just mean and make us feel bad about ourselves, we have to change that. We have the power and we get to decide who we spend our life with, who we hang out with. Right. And also, when you build a park, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be best friends with every single person on a team or in your classroom or whatever. But when you all agree to a common goal, and in my experience with sport, the common goal was winning and our team had a relentless pursuit of excellence that was like the ethos that the mindset. And when we all bought into that, we had a better chance of winning. And it didn’t matter if we liked each other or were best friends. We all had to learn to respect each other because we all sacrificed everything for that common goal. And it is possible, it is possible to lead in this new age, this modern era of technology and social media and lots of people having lots of opinions like it is possible. And this book is proof for me.

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S4: Sounds amazing. Sounds like something we all sort of need at this moment. And definitely for that younger generation fact, our our listener should check it out as well for some lessons to teach leadership with honor.

S1: What a concept.

S4: Leaders with honor. I know something the world needs. Well, Abby, we are so excited that you could join us today. And you gave just some really lovely advice for someone who says they’re not in the business of giving advice. I think there was a lot of real wisdom here. So thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. So Wolfpack Young Readers Edition is out this week. We’ll put a link to the book in the show notes if you’d like to pick it up. Good luck, listener, to you and your little athlete. If you’re at home and have a question for us, send it our way. You never know. Maybe Abby Wambach will join us to answer your question. Email us at Mom and dad at Slate Dotcom are posted in our Slate Parenting Facebook group. Let’s jump in to our second question. As always, our question is being read by the fabulous Sasha Lanard.

S11: Dear mom and dad, my seven year old is on the soccer team. I watch the practices and the matches on the weekends. I understand my role as a spectator. I understand the coach’s role to direct. I believe that telling the kids what to do is the coach’s job, not the parents. My perspective is obviously not widely shared. There are parents who yell the whole practice sessions and the matches telling their kids what to do. I feel like the kids in a ball confuse not knowing what to do, not focusing on the game, trying to please their parents. But whatever. Here’s the real problem. My patience is close to zero now. Every time they yell something, I feel like telling them to go and fill out an application to coach every single game. I have less tolerance for it. And this is only the beginning. How do you deal with all the groups of parents who are forced to deal with, yet you don’t agree with their approaches? Thank you.

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S13: I also hate those parents. I try very hard not to be that parents, even in sports where my impulse is to yell something at the field. But so my main advice is don’t suck it up and deal with it. It’s get the. Parents to stop doing it now, one way to do this is to just address each of them personally right there on the field. I think you’ll maybe have more luck if you work through your son’s coach, who almost certainly hates this and who also almost certainly knows that it’s totally detrimental to the player’s development. One thing you can come to your coach and say is, well, I heard on my favorite podcast, mom and dad are fighting Abby Wambach say leave coaching to the coaches, in fact, US youth soccer and see the organization that oversees your son’s league. And all the leagues in the United States specifically says the parents should not do this. In fact, I’ll read from their recommendations. A common problem in youth soccer is the impulse the parents have to shout instructions to their young player from the sideline. It’s especially difficult for a child because he or she has a tendency to refer to what a parent says, which often conflicts with the instruction from the coach. Now, we’ll post a link to this on our show page. I recommend that you and the coach together email this link to all the parents and say, look, parents, I love that you’re so enthusiastic. You can lie and say, I’m really enthusiastic to. But 10 out of 10 experts agree that our kids will get better at soccer. In fact, they will win more games and have a better time if we are not yelling at them from the sidelines. So please stop yelling at your children from the sidelines. What do you guys think?

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S5: I also hate those parents. I would probably get a pair of headphones. Barely know that you have to hear a soccer match to know everything that’s going on. I could be wrong, but it may be the case that you just have to tune these folks out and just keep your eyes on the ball.

S4: To use an old cliche, I think I fall somewhere between you guys. Like, I am probably unlikely to approach the screaming parent. However, I have married someone that will so step one for me would be to jump on them. Who has this great way of just like getting the parent who’s doing this into some kind of conversation so that they cannot yell about a play on the field or something like that, and then basically empathizing with them like it must be really frustrating to watch this happen and then somehow telling them not to yell all while maintaining and building a friendship that is not necessarily a skill that I have. So I have taken to some other tactics, like I have not sunk in below handing out Candy to a parent that was doing this like a mint or something because something in their mouth they couldn’t scream.

S9: I literally offered around a bunch of mints and sort of put the kibosh on it. I you know, here comes the weird mint lady. But you know what? It’s all of them go next time, like something really. Stewie’s like, hey, parents have some Laffy Taffy. Yeah, exactly. I also think, like, nobody likes this parent.

S4: So if this is something that is happening, I absolutely agree with Dan that you should talk to the coach. I absolutely think that that should be like something that the team as a whole takes on. I think there are like parent meetings and opportunities to really express kind of what you are team values are. And I think that’s a good way to structure it. Like we as this youth team have this value where we want our kids to have fun and we want them to enjoy this. And this behavior is distracting from that. So I if you frame it like that, too, it seems less like, hey, you stop yelling or just go find like the Jeff that exists in that group and stick them on them.

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S9: You should read Jeff out. I know he would be really good at this. He always makes friends of these people too. And then he sits by them and talks to them the whole time, because I think a lot of times these people just get I don’t think anyone goes to the game thinking they’re this person.

S4: I think they think they’re being an enthusiastic parent, cheering on a game the same way they would cheer on a professional game with, like, no sense. I mean, Abby talked about how when you do this, your child perceives, like, my value to you has to do with this game on the field. But like, what parent thinks that you think I’m helping my child or I’m cheering them on? I’m providing them this advice. I, I just think it comes from kind of a mistake in place, but it is really, really annoying. I also think because this letter writer is so annoyed by it, like, I wonder if it’s as bad as it really is. I mean, we’ve all been to games, so we know there’s someone there definitely is bad.

S14: And I get the impression with this letter that multiple parents are doing that, which has been my experience in almost every soccer game I’ve ever gone to. That like everyone is doing, is like at least three or four different parents are constantly coaching their kids on the field.

S4: Listen, I’m like at the sporting match to occupy my children and socialize. So I am like running a small, happy hour on the side, usually, like there are snacks there parents, there are drinks. This is like my social time and my children are doing some. So I must just either be distracted or people are too distracted by my by my smorgasbord to to be worried about the game.

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S5: That’s usually me if there’s some sort of exit that we haven’t gotten into sports yet. I guess the season in which that would have happened was the one that got shut down because of the first season, I should say. But I usually show up to activities with lots of snags and distractions that asked me to do.

S9: This is this is their thing. My thing is the social hour over here.

S5: Somebody need ice and.

S14: Right. So let’s bring in Michael. I’m on it. I have two other pieces of advice for this parent.

S13: One is, I don’t know if you two have heard of silent soccer. That is the thing that a lot of leagues do where one game per season, there will just be a rule that no one on the sidelines can talk, not even the coach. And you just abide by that if you’re going to go to the game and if you can’t abide by it, you are encouraged not to come to the game at all. And it is invariably the game that the kids have the most fun. You might want to talk to league officials about trying style silence soccer out just for one game this season to see how it goes over and see if parents learn anything from that. And then one other thing I noticed in this letter, which really raised my eyebrows, I cannot stress this enough. Stop attending practices. Sure, you can go to games, but there is absolutely no reason for you or any other parent to attend a soccer practice.

S14: Soccer practice is free babysitting for you. And you should spend that hour going to Trader Joe’s or having an affair or just doing something that is not standing on the sideline watching your kids practice. That’s crazy. Don’t do that. So right now, don’t you dare do something constructive, for God’s sake, but don’t watch practice. That’s that is the worst idea I’ve ever heard. And you have if you follow this advice, you instantly cut out one half of your interactions with these annoying parents.

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S9: That’s true. So, yeah, I was going to say that you are in charge of your own body and you can move yourself away and still be present for your child. So, I mean, I think there is the larger issue that this is detrimental to the children playing, that I think it should be addressed. But if it’s like a you issue, you can move yourself like go sit somewhere else on the field, like that field. Those are recommended. Get your headphones, listen to something else, be present, be watching. But obviously you’re not involved. But maybe the parent that’s screaming needs a pair of headphones. They could be involved in something else. Well, I’m not sure that we’ve solved this person problem. We may have created some new new problems recommending affair. But, you know, cross that bridge another day. Good luck, listener. Let us know how it goes. Did you confront them? Did you hand out Candy? We want to know if you want us to help you send in your question or conundrum to mom and dad at Slate Dotcom. All right. Well, now it’s time for recommendations where we tell you things we like that we think you should try. So, Dan, what do you have for us?

S1: I am recommending cribbage, a classic card game that I used to play with my grandpa all the time. I recently tried to my kids, and it really hits the sweet spot, the right mix of skill and luck. I’ve talked about this before on the show. There are so many card games the kids love that are just horrible for adults to play because they’re only about luck. You know, like war is the worst fucking game on the face of the Earth. Then there are games that require so much skill that it’s very difficult to get kids into them unless you’re willing to just endlessly lose on purpose, because otherwise you would just beat them all the time. But so finding a game like right in the middle where it’s strategic enough to be fun for you, but there’s enough luck involved so that a kid wins sometimes, even if they don’t have years of experience is great and cribbage is just right for this. Plus it has a little bored with Pegg’s and kids like doing the Pegg’s, but it’s just like a good, simple, easy to understand card game that works really well. Intergenerational. So we’ve been playing a lot at our house.

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S9: That sounds great. Me. How about you?

S5: OK, so I’m going to recommend something that needs no recommendation. But for folks that tend to be a little bit like so I’m not the person who always tunes into the big show. I didn’t get in the Game of Thrones. To be fair, I don’t really do death and violence in my entertainment. But like even with comedy, sometimes there’s a big show that everybody’s talking about. There’s often there’s a pretty good chance that I haven’t seen it. So I’m super late to this party. But I’m proud to say that I jumped in before the Emmys, so that had nothing to do with it. It just led me to learning a lot more about the show that I just discovered. Schitt’s Creek, if for any reason you have not. And a good friend of mine hit me the other day, I was like, Have you ever seen Schitt’s Creek? I’m like, Oh my God, it’s all I watch now, because now I have to see all six seasons immediately, like I started maybe two or three weeks ago. And I’m. Like about to start moving a little slowly because I’m savoring it and I’ve been busy, so I’m just about to start season three. It is so funny. It is so smart. It is so good. It is. It deserves all of the thing. Like, I don’t know why there was any controversy about it winning awards. And I just and I know I’m just going to say it’s such a great show if you have not watched it. And I never I didn’t really think of Eugene Levy as a lead in that way. Like I’ve always seen him as a character actor. I just haven’t seen I mean, it’s just great. And his son, like. Miles, on my gut reaction was like, oh, of course, him and his son, you know, like, well, if your dad is genuinely to be, of course you can make a show like, no, it’s actually fucking great and you should watch it itself feel good.

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S4: That’s what I like. I feel like there’s so little out there that’s just like so feel good. Yeah.

S1: Did you have the experience of, like, watching it for a while and be like, what’s the big deal? And then it finally clicks in and you’re like, oh, I get it now. I love these people and would lay down my life for them.

S4: Yeah. I mean, it took like a whole season. I feel like I was watching it kind of at the beginning of the pandemic.

S3: We’re not there yet. I was like, we’re still in the program. We’re like, oh, this is a pleasant show that we enjoy watching. It’s coming. I could take it or leave. It clicks and you’re like, I want it. I want to go back because I want back.

S1: And, you know, one million people have told me that is how their experience with the show works. So you actually had a really useful piece that we ran about like, well, where to start if you sort of want that to happen faster and actually just starting with the second season finale and we did that and we’re still not there yet.

S9: I think the first part, there’s so much character development, there’s so much and they grow.

S5: And just in the first two seasons, they grow. And thanks so much. And I’ll say it’s maybe midway through season two is where I’m like, oh, I actually relate to you. You know, I care about you that as people as opposed to just like, oh, these are funny rich folks that are detached from reality and, you know, like it doesn’t take long for it to become really earnest. And then just cathinone here. I mean, first of all, she’s so good in this role, but her flow and her and the accent and the way it’s like, what is this? What is it? I need to start writing down because like every other episode, she’ll say a word and say, how did you pronounce that?

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S1: Like she said the other day, it was like, OK, you know where it is true that once again, the MacArthur Genius Grants have been announced and it’s a crime that Catherine O’Hara did not win a MacArthur genius grant. But yeah, yeah, she’s great. And I never am unhappy to be watching the show, but I still I still want to click. I will report back when it finally clicks.

S5: Yeah. Let us know when it clicks and when you find out Steve’s last name.

S9: But I’m I you’re like, oh, that was the month. I was like, oh, I love this. Oh I know. It’s so great.

S4: Well, I as usual, have a weird but this time practical recommendation. So this is called the squashy shoe sizer. And if any of you have multiple kids at home and you’re now having to order all of their shoes online, this is a great little like it’s like a plastic thing that sizes kids shoes. It’s just like what they use at the shoe store. But you can do it at home and you can actually mark right on it. So it’s a nice, like, I guess, keepsake for me. Like, the kids are constantly growing out of their shoes, like they go to put them on and all of a sudden they’re out. And then they’re not just the next size, they’re like two sizes bigger or something crazy. So this is just a good way. It helps me be able to keep track of them at home. I have recommended this to several of my mom friends who said that this has like changed their life and they’re not sending all these shoes back. And you can actually just know what to order so you can get it on Amazon or I’m sure any other kind of places. But it’s called the squashy shoe sizer.

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S1: And I’m sure there’ll be a link in the bio buying the Cizre that you usually use at the shoe store. Is genius selling it to the more genius?

S9: Yeah.

S4: And it’s I mean, it’s just like because the shoes, kids, your sizes also don’t make any sense if you’re not in that with three kids. I’m in that little realm and it’s pretty terrible. So get one of these and then you can order your kid shoes.

S5: As I say, I’m ordering one today, the other day and I am is that was like yeah. She’s definitely like only two now. Right. And I was like I’ve been buying a size two for her for like six months and put my shoes for quite some.

S4: My tip on this is to actually use a Sharpie to market and mark the date so that when you go to order shoes, you can just grab this plastic thing and you can see the last time you measured and what size, because I also can never remember.

S1: I’m hopeful that someday they’ll sell that x ray machine that they used to have in shoe stores that people would put their feet in to see what your bone structure looks like inside your shoe.

S9: Until then, you can get this piece of plastic and mark and keep it keep it as a moment of your of your children’s foot size. What more could you want?

S15: Well, that’s our show. So one more time, if you have questions, email us at mom and dad at Slate dot com or to the Slate Facebook group. Just search for Slate. And once again, don’t miss our live show, October 14th at 8:00 p.m. Eastern on YouTube and Facebook. Go to Slate Dotcom slash live for links. Mom and dad are fighting is produced by Rosemary Nelson for me, a little of you and Dan Boyce.

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S6: Hello, Slate. Plus listeners, thank you so much for joining us. We thought we’d do a round of classic sports triumphs and fails.

S14: All right, let’s talk sports. You guys are about to get a real dose of what it is like living in the same house as me. I finally started tweeting all my soccer games because Alere was so obviously desperately bored listening to me recap them when I got home every night. You could not take it anymore. By now, I have to talk about sports for work. So my life has sort of taken a weird turn in that I am less fit than I have ever been, but I am more sporty than I have ever been. I basically never been better at the various sports I play, even though I am. I like the shape of a beanbag chair. But so most of my sports fails are from when I was a kid and when I was a kid. I desperately loved sports, but I was super bad at them and I was very uncoordinated. And and so I would play and play and play, but I would always be like the fourth string point guard on the eighth grade basketball team. And I would play for three minutes in the third quarter, or I would be like the only junior who did not make the varsity tennis team and was still on JV and in high school. I thought I was mostly over this problem because I was like into theater and girls and more healthy things than sports. But then for some insane reason that I still don’t truly understand the summer before senior year, I just out of nowhere I just decided, oh, you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to try out for the varsity baseball team and waifish be high school. And I don’t know why I did this, I had like I played Little League Baseball team. Yeah, well, I was a senior said you couldn’t play JV, so, I mean, I could I should have tried out for the freshman team, but I was not eligible, you know, and I played Little League and I was a pretty good pitcher until I blew my arm out. But I hadn’t played competitive baseball at this point in like five years. And suddenly there I was on the field with all these kids who’ve been playing in senior leagues or developmental leagues for years and me, like with my 90’s pony tail and my RTM t shirt and my bad attitude. And the coach was the same math teacher who I hated so much, who I talked about in the Shirley Valentine essay, Mr. Young. And it was clear from the very first practice that there’s no way I was making this team. I mean, even in Little League, I had just been like an all field, no hit player who was afraid to swing the bat at the ball. And that was against kids throwing like 30 miles an hour. And I was facing kids throwing 60 miles an hour. And no way was I going to swing at that. All I did was like Duck. But I went through two weeks of practice with Mr. Young and I got cut instantly on the day of tryouts. And I think Mr. Young was so happy that day, like it was like a peak of his baseball coaching career. And I’d like to say that it was a triumph because, like, at least I tried, but it was so random. It was more like I thought I was magical. And so why wouldn’t they just put me on the varsity baseball team? It was like a real peak teen move. So I feel like that’s a real fail. But all my sports triumphs come as an adult. In fact, I know all of them by heart. I have in my head running list of my five greatest ever basketball passes and I replay them in my head sometimes at night when I need somebody to think about. That isn’t Donald Trump. So no one is the only time in my life that I have ever successfully executed a behind the back pass on a basketball court trying to fast break. It happened in twenty seven in the gym at St. Patrick’s Church in Little Italy. In New York City, it was spectacular. The fast break was finished with a lay up by the guy who passed it to a pass, a befuddled defense. It was truly incredible. Thank you for giving me this chance. How about you guys?

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S9: We’re your friends. We’re all we’re one of them.

S14: Oh, I’ll post all five to the show page for Slate plus fans.

S5: Members of of the pilots know we have low lights, there are only two times in my life where I’ve attempted athletics at all, sort of gym classes and school, and we’re taking dance outside of this. Not that I have an existing exhaustive dance history and taking working out. So when I was maybe a sophomore junior in high school, maybe junior year, a lot of my good girlfriends were on the track team. And so I was the guy in my head that I was the biggest thing in the world. If I look back, I was probably around like an adult size 10. But as a high schooler, I felt like this is like the Alley McBeal era. So I felt like not the black girls were super into being like that. But Justin was in in the world, you know, in a way that that was inescapable. And I didn’t have, like, you know, the small waist, big butt like the girls at school. So I just felt like this large blob. I was not athletic or into sports in any way. I was very insecure about that. And so now I’ve got these girlfriends that are on the track team and there’s an opening for someone to do shot-put. And so it was something that no one knew how to do. There was one other girl who had been doing it. She was actually as cool. I didn’t I wouldn’t say she was my bully, but there was definitely like a bullying incident in which, like, she said something. What was it like? She said something kind of sassy about me. And I was a smart mouth. And so, like I, I said something slicked back and she says in like full earshot of the teacher, bitch, I will fuck you up. And that qualifies as a bullying. Now, the bullying. Sure. And like the like so teacher sensitive to the office and Spanish teacher. And then when he when she left it closed the door. Hi. Dios mio. I thought she was going to beat you up. So if I wasn’t embarrassed in that I thought the teacher had my life anyway. So she’s the only other person doing Shot-put and she was a sturdy girl, like she absolutely could have beat me up and she was athletic. But at this point, I guess we’ve made peace. And so she’s there and there’s nobody else is doing it. So I can just pretty much walk on to the track team, which seems like a really great idea because I’ve got now I’m getting some exercise. I can hang out with my girlfriends and some of my homeboys are on the boys track team. They would travel together. So it would be fun to meet new people. My stepsister, who so I have three step siblings, are the exact our parents are no longer together, but they were together for many years and we’re all the same ages. So like my eldest, who’s a guy same age as my older, my eldest sister, there’s a middle two middle sisters, and then there’s the two of us that are the youngest. And so we’re the exact same grade in school. So she and my father and her mother are all very athletic. She was a high performer at school. I was kind of phoning it in, so I got A’s and B’s until I couldn’t take it anymore. And then I started to fall off a bit and she was on the track team. She was really good. And so now I’m going to be on the track team, too. And so my dad can come to matches and see both of us and he can be proud of me. And so it’s going to be great. And so then my best friend, Raven, who still one of my best friends, decides that she’s going to join too. But Raven was actually athletic. She played tennis. So she already had a thing and she came and she was better than me. And so it wasn’t that I wasn’t going to get to do it anymore. But now it’s been sullied by the fact that there’s competition. So maybe we have a match or something and I wouldn’t be competing. And so I as opposed to like sticking with and saying I’m just going to get better, I’m going to train, maybe maybe I’ll get tired of this because she just wants to be around. The crew is literally the same reason I was joining us for fun. I curse Raven out really badly and just never came back. So be the end. I’m so so I don’t try sports again until the year after. Or maybe this is my senior year in college. One of my homeboys, who was a couple of years older than me, went to my school and still lived in the area, had started a kickball team. There’s like I forget the name, you might know the standard kickball league in DC that they play.

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S14: They play like in the Mall by the Lincoln Memorial. We were in Adams Morgan, OK, this was the era of kickball. So there might have been multiple kickball leagues.

S5: Kickball was like a thing in DC. Cool way to meet. I was twenty once, so I was like I was old. I could drink because the real reason we’re going to play kickball was to go drinking afterwards. Like I could finally drink, you know, I could hang out with people. There were older than, you know, my fellow college students.

S14: That’s your place to meet house interns.

S5: Yes. You can meet every house intern that ever stepped into the city of D.C. And so at the time, I had these very long acrylic nails and I was not willing to sacrifice them. I remained not athletic until maybe I was 26 years old. Twenty five started working out a lot, so like I could run pretty fast, but I was just awkward everything about it. Just so just imagine me these huge boobs at the time and these long blue nails. And so if I had to like I guess I don’t know what’s to car run like a school or whatever and the basics. Thank you. The basis I would hold my arm because I don’t have a good sports bra. I’m probably going to and I have to say I’m running holding my my friend’s leg would like every time like the few times that I, I guess maybe we ran warming up or something, but every time you saw me run he’s literally like doubled over on the side of the field. But so our team sucked and we were called the soul team. He was trying to create an all black team, except for not enough people will join. So like they just add people. So the rest of the team was white, which was great.

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S14: And but everybody was really absolutely a life highlight for those white people know.

S5: Absolutely. And we were all like Howard alone on like the soul team. And so it was a lot of fun. Everybody was really great. We had a lot of fun. And so but we kind of sucked, like, I can’t remember if we won any matches at all, or maybe we only won a couple and I was the sexiest player. However, I in the season and with the best record of everyone, because in the final game I am I need to remember what my life was. I think I was the only one who had like a full home run. I was like, yeah, I think I had a whole last home run, like and no one else did. So I let’s.

S14: A trial is a trial time. Way to retire from sports on a high on a high note. Yeah. Go back. Elizabeth, what about you?

S4: I have always been like fairly athletic but sort of master master of nothing. And so I went to a small high school and in order for, you know, women’s sports, you had to have so many people on the team. So my high school like record reads like, oh, that girl, she’s OK. Like, she’s pretty athletic. She can probably figure it out, join the team. So I think I like played golf, I played softball, I ran track. I swam like you name it. I did it to round out the team. I was able to kind of figure my way out, but I just suffered a series of, like, you know, tragedies but like crazy things that happened. I hit a home run to win a finals game, but the home run hit a little league player at the like in the next thing like who was batting. And I was completely just like beside myself that this has happened. They wanted me to, like, give her the game ball.

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S9: And I was thinking, like, this just hit her like this. And so she was, you know, at the ball. They just hit this five year old here. Yes.

S4: And so, like, I just feel like it’s a series of things like that ending in my in my final track meet, I ran the four by 100 relay, but I also through the discus because they were not enough women to throw the discus. So I threw the discus. It was like a rainy day and the person warming up in front of me through the discus and it hits the like metal pole that holds up the netting and ricocheted back and actually ends up hitting me on the head. I’m totally fine, but I have to go to the hospital for all these stitches.

S9: You’re not totally. Yeah, I’m clearly not totally fine. No, I don’t even know this question framed by this incredible I like have to go in an ambulance. It was a whole thing, but stuff like that. It was like at that event when they were like, who got hit by a discus. Oh. Oh yeah. That sounds about right. Like, you know, it’s just a a a string of those sort of things. I hit a cat once golfing. I mean just like. Yeah. With the ball or with your quite the ball.

S6: With the ball. That’s not like I inflicted purposeful but once things, you know left it was. Yeah. I also had a habit of mixing up sports. So like I would go to play tennis and for the first like twenty minutes of tennis I would forget that it’s not softball and just watch every ball. I was also keen on the soccer field of leaping over the ball because I hadn’t quite, I guess transitioned out of out of dance. I would go to do a goal kick and just leap over the ball. It was like, OK, yeah, yeah.

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S14: So that’s an incredible accursed sports career.

S6: So I have not I have not taken up anything further. I do like just going out and and playing. I’m waiting for one of the boys who really want to like throw I love playing softball and like throwing, throwing a ball of some sort. So it looks like Teddy is going to be that that kid for me. So hopefully I’ll have one kid that at least just wants to come play something outside, play catch can catch the grass. Right. Well, this is a lovely roundup of our sports sports memories. And I know everyone can’t wait to hear Dianne Feinstein or top passes.

S14: I’ve got them all lined up. Yeah.

S6: But that’s it for this week’s Slate, plus, you’ll have to stay tuned for for more sports memories to see me in the are you going to say about the newsletter? What are you going to do?

S14: I can’t decide. I’m probably just going to anyone who wants to send me twenty dollars.

S9: Twenty dollars for darn sports greatest. There you go. Well, that’s it for now. So we’ll see you next time.