What Makes a Good Internet Boyfriend?

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you for keeping it real and keeping me on my toes. I’ll bring more butter. I’ll bring the butter next time.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Hi, I’m Rachel Hampton.

Nadira Goffe: And I’m Nadira Goffe. And you’re listening to. I see. Why am I?

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: In Case You Missed It, Slate’s.

Nadira Goffe: Podcast about Internet culture.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: And today we are joined by none other than Nadira culture writer extraordinaire and one of my absolute favorite people at Slate.com. Nadira I’ve been trying to get you on the show for a few months now.

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Nadira Goffe: Welcome. Thank you. I’ve been trying to come on the show for what feels like months now.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: We’re finally here. We’ve finally done it. If you’ve read Slate, which you like, definitely should you probably run across Mandy Rose, byline She’s written most recently about Keke Palmer, the Beyoncé police drama and her favorite show on television, Abbott Elementary. But for those of you who are unfamiliar with Madeira, I play a little game to good effect warmed up. Introduce us to the dynamic which is going to be chaotic because we do actually like each other. Nadira. Are you ready?

Nadira Goffe: As Nicole would say, that’s my mother. I was born.

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Speaker 4: Ready.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: We love Nicole. Emma’s house.

Nadira Goffe: We do.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: And now it’s time to play. Fuck, marry, kill. If you haven’t heard of this game, basically we give each other three first objects, and we have to pick which one beat fug, which we marry and which we kill. And importantly, Nadia and I have not actually shared our list before recording to Nadira. I’m going to let you go first.

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Nadira Goffe: Okay. So your trio is, of course, six five actor we pace oh, Winston, Duke and I kind of broke the rules a little bit here, and I went for an animated character. Zuko from Avatar was Evan.

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Speaker 5: I know exactly who you ask about this.

Speaker 4: I am screaming.

Nadira Goffe: I listen. Phone a friend. Your phone, a friend.

Speaker 4: I can handle this. Okay?

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Just because in the animated show Avatar, The Last Airbender, which is where Zuko comes from, he is like a teenager. I’m going to assume he’s perfectly in that Stacy’s. So I’m going to kill Zuko because I’m not. I’m not a child predator. I fell in love with him when I was 16, so it was appropriate, actually, I think I was maybe 14. So when I loved him, it was fine. All right. Okay. I think I’m going to marry Winston Duke because I just want to gaze upon those thighs for the rest of my life to be. Who wouldn’t? Exactly. And then I think I mean, obviously, I’ll take one for the team and fuck Lee Pace. It’s going to be so hard for me personally to do.

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Speaker 4: You know, take one for the team. I’ll take one.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: For the team.

Speaker 4: Obviously.

Nadira Goffe: It’s a burden on you.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Isn’t I know. It really. It’s such a burden. Such a burden.

Nadira Goffe: Wow. Okay, so you’re fucking six. Five, actually, Pace, you’re marrying Winston Duke, and you’re killing Zuko. You’re killing Zuko. Hasn’t he been through enough?

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Speaker 4: I know, I know, I know, I know. I’m actually. It’s terrible. This was physically painful for me.

Nadira Goffe: But you know what’s great? It’s. It’s now your turn. Oh, so now you can cause me physical pain we love.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: All right, so we’ve got Dylan O’Brien.

Nadira Goffe: Naturally.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Channing Tatum. Because I know how much his work means to you. And then Dev Patel.

Speaker 4: Oh. No. Oh, yeah.

Nadira Goffe: I’m distraught.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Listen.

Nadira Goffe: Karma, the youth and me is just now playing through all of the step up choreography in my head.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: You’re like, Where would I be without that movie?

Speaker 4: Where would I be without that movie? Destitute. That’s where.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: I mean, listen, you have to.

Nadira Goffe: Pick. You have. Okay. Okay. We’re talking about marrying and fucking. Right? Then I. Then I have to kill Channing. I’m sorry. I can’t. I mean, you gave him so much, and I know that I’m not better than Zoe Kravitz. I don’t even know why.

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Speaker 4: You know why.

Nadira Goffe: You gave me so much. But I do, unfortunately, have to kill Channing. I think this may be a surprise, but I think I’m actually going to fuck Dylan and then marry Dev. I know. Surprise. Well, surprising. Well, I just. I just think that Dev, he’s British, so I could get that citizenship.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: You know what?

Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nadira Goffe: And he’s like his, you know, he kind of stays out of the limelight, so people wouldn’t really need to, like, try us that much that. Oh, you know, because who won’t try me? Boom. Okay.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: No, I mean, no one. Not me.

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Nadira Goffe: Exactly. Wow.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Well, now that.

Speaker 4: We’ve tortured our.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Family, move all the time we have for fucking marrying and killing. However, that is not all the time we have for Thirst because that is today’s topic. Somehow in the middle many months we’ve been doing this show, we have yet to have an episode that like kind of really dives deep into the concept, the lexicon, the ethnography of Internet Thirst. But we’re rectifying that today.

Nadira Goffe: After a short break, we’ll be entering the wild world of online Thirst. And trust me, it is wild out there. And we’ll discuss what makes a good Internet search object. We’ll also attempt to define what exactly makes a good Internet boyfriend or girlfriend or boyfriend and talk about the ways Internet Thirst thing can go very, very badly.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: More on that after a short break.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: And we’re back. Obviously, this is a wide ranging topic. We could be here for hours, days. We wanted to discuss it all. We will be discussing a lot of Thirst concern over the course of this episode that we will tweet out. We obviously always recommend the podcast first aid kit. But for today, it’s a start. Nadira Do you have any recent online prime Thirst for us?

Nadira Goffe: Always. And that is my problem. So I’ve been enjoying Billie Eilish’s Instagram posts. The very simple. She does a lot of photo dumps, but they’re very boob forward, let’s say, which is inspiration for me personally and, you know, just truly low key Thirst for us all. But also, listen. Say what you want about Drake, but in true light skinned area, you’re listening.

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Speaker 4: He’s not new to this universe, okay?

Nadira Goffe: He’s recently been posting photos and videos of him on vacation for what seems like forever. Like, is. That would be Rich’s. Because, I mean, I think I hate capital.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Always on vacation.

Nadira Goffe: True. But one of my recent favorites is a photo dump from a couple of weeks ago where the first slide is of him shirtless and tanning outside with, like, pursed lips and squinting. You know, the.

Speaker 4: Face, you know?

Nadira Goffe: And the caption is, If what you say is true and not false, and if I’m such a know it all, how come I never know what the fuck you want? It’s laughable.

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Speaker 4: But it kind of works with it. It kind of works.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The thing is, I haven’t even seen this photo, and I can picture it in my head like, I don’t need to see this photo to see this photo. You know what I mean?

Nadira Goffe: Listen, it’s it’s it has a template, a blueprint, you know.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: So I think at this point, we would be remiss not to mention Lee Pais, who has over the past year, I would say, really come into his first self. He was really private for the first part of his career. And then he was, I think, outed against his will, which was shitty. And I think he’s recovered from that and he’s now ready to be a public figure, which means he’s been posting shirtless selfies in so many different locations in the desert, in a boat, in a cave.

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Speaker 4: My man is everywhere without a shirt on.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: But on August 2nd, he posted what might be my, I think, favorite set of photos that he’s posted thus far. And it’s from the after party from the upcoming A24 movie Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, which I am obsessed with. And fascinatingly, he’s not actually shirtless. Instead, in one photo, he’s like kind of nestled among some like green foliage wearing a backwards hat and just a beautifully patterned button down shirt that I want. And the next photo, which is my favorite in the set, he’s wearing this gray like velour tracksuit. And you can just see this sliver of his Celine boxes and this like there’s really no skin here. Like you see a little like V of his chest where the tracks it’s open but just this sliver of Celine Boxer. It just elevates a thirst trap from horniness to art and horniness.

Nadira Goffe: Listen, we stand six, five actively paced in this house and we’ve in six five actor we’ve added to turn horniness into an art form. While there are a lot of hot people, only a handful are truly good at what I’m now dubbing as lip sync. If there’s some thirsty.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: You are right, you are right. This photo belongs in the MoMA. I mention this tiny pic of We Pace the boxers and its most recent photo set and I think that subtlety is one of the ingredients that elevates thirst trap to art. Obviously I will never say no to somebody baring it all. There is this photo shoot from literally the year is ingrained in my head 2014 of baseball player Prince Fielder for ESPN Body Issue, where he is wearing nothing but a baseball bat and has lived rent free in my head for almost ten years now. But a key component of perfect and a boyfriend is this kind of like cheeky, restrained awareness that you’re posting a thirst trap, but you’re not you’re not going all in, you know, you’re like just a little.

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Speaker 4: Little.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Well, titillation.

Nadira Goffe: I have been saying this forever. There’s something so sexy about leaving just a little to the imagination. But the kid Internet thirsting, as you mentioned, is being aware that you’re doing so. I mean, listen, if you ask me, I think that’s why the word cheeky was being made. If we’re being honest, I think the Brits were on to something.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Okay. Yes. I mean, they were on to something. I will not give them anything else but cheeky. They knew what they were doing with that.

Nadira Goffe: They did that.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: All right. So the next ingredient besides this, like little bit of cheekiness, I don’t think has anything to do with works. I think it comes down just to, like, sheer charisma. You cannot want to be the Internet’s boyfriend, girlfriend, they friend too badly, or else it’s cringe. You cross over from cheeky self-awareness into overly self-aware, perfect example. Tom Hiddleston. I love him. I just want to get out of the way. No one come for me. I’ve loved him since I was 17. He wants it too badly. It’s too much.

Nadira Goffe: I think someone who’s actually good at this or an example of how to do it right is Keke Palmer. She’s always posted photos of herself in revealing clothing. She has a lot of songs that are explicitly sexual in her music. Videos oftentimes are sexual. But what makes everyone fall so deeply in love with her is her charisma and her charm, which you see in her interviews and in her offset content. And she’s established this so well that there’s literally a compilation of other celebrities falling in love with Keke Palmer on YouTube. And that compilation has 4 million views. Like we’re all watching people we love fall in love with Keke Palmer.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: One of the clips in that video is of Timothy’s album, and I think we have to talk about that one because I think it is the one that just really encapsulates Kiki’s just appeal.

Speaker 4: To say, How are you now? Your preparation for tonight was quite a production. Tell me a little bit about seeing you walk in. Yeah, we did. We did a bit of a you know, we met when we were 17, right. Wait a minute. Where? We met Teen Vogue, the young Hollywood shoes. Is that your mom was there? Oh, my God. My mom is always with me. That’s my mom.

Nadira Goffe: That’s my. So what you’re hearing here is Kiki interviewing Timothee at the 2021 Met Gala Red Carpet. But what you’re really hearing here is Timothee falling absolutely in love when he stops his own interview to remind Kiki of how they met years ago as a teen Vogue photo. When I tell you the way he’s looking at her, you would think he has his own Kiki Stan Instagram account.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Okay. I’ve always felt like he have consumption. It’s very tuberculosis chic. But I will say the video of him with Keke Palmer is maybe the only time I’ve thought, Oh, I get why people like him. Because Paris is a bonding mechanism. It brings us all together and we’re not simply looking at books, though we are also doing that. But the vibes to one person who I think maybe matches Kiki in terms of energy and also just so annoying. Daniel Kaluuya Do you remember that clip of him from Good Morning America where he’s flirting with Robin Roberts? I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it like, I’m gonna be honest.

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Speaker 1: Or I’m buttering you up because can you tell us anything about Black Panther? Can you tell us a little? No. You know, you’ve got to give me more, but that’s no better. Well, I guess you better be glad we’re not in the same studio together.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Robin, I see you, girl. But importantly, the level of charisma he is just exuding is happening over Zoom and having spent the last two years existing over Zoom. That is a hard thing to do. And that man did it.

Nadira Goffe: He really did it, though. He really his little smirk.

Speaker 4: Betty knew exactly what he was doing, too. Mm hmm.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: You know he did. And there’s a self-awareness. So we have the charisma, the subtle self-awareness.

Nadira Goffe: Don’t forget a British accent.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Yes, correct. I don’t think that’s necessary, but is a great addition, like, you know, avocado and a BLT. BLT is good with that. But the avocado elevates it. I think our next ingredient is kind of like awareness, but a little bit beyond it’s capitalizing on a moment. And I think we can both agree that a phenomenal recent example of this one is none other than your fave, Dylan O’Brien. Take it away, Nadia.

Nadira Goffe: So Dylan O’Brien first popped up on the first scene, of course, when he played Stiles in Teen Wolf. And already his charisma and humor made him hotter than all the other men on the show who I’m sorry, but had literal, scripted scenes where they had to be short list. And we’re running around with six packs turning into wolves. But he would utter, So forget them. And then he filmed the action trilogy, The Maze Runner. But after that, and after an on set accident, he sort of disappeared from the main scene for a while.

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Speaker 4: But baby, my baby is back. Okay.

Nadira Goffe: After a video surfaced of him dancing shirtless in a crowd this April at Coachella. Dylan O’Brien tweeted one simple, two word phrase that sent the girlies running a literal muck. That two word phrase was simply slut era. And since then, Dylan O’Brien has been seen having fun with friends, being goofy, twerking on walls, offbeat, but still working on walls and promotion for his recent film. But nothing. Absolutely nothing. I promise you, it compares to my favorite ever. Dylan O’Brien Tweet in March of 2021. A fan responded to one of Dylan’s promotional tweets. He was promoting a Netflix movie at the time. The fan responded with Just Purr, and all he said in response was one.

Speaker 4: Very powerful word.

Nadira Goffe: Which was Behave. This singular fed the Dylan stance for months. And it’s still feeding me. It’s still feeding me. One of our mutual friends got me this tweet, literally putting it on a mug for my birthday, and I almost was brought to tears.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: I was going to say, I think I’ve seen this tweet more often on your Instagram stories that I have. In any other context.

Nadira Goffe: It’s a name for me now. I have it screenshot and saved on my phone and a special folder.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: All right, so we’ve got charisma flicks, subtlety, and capitalizing on a moment. The perfect ingredients for an Internet boyfriend. We’re making the Powerpuff Girls here. Except it’s the Internet boyfriend, girlfriend, their friend. But I will say the last thing which is capitalizing on the moment makes me wonder, and I’ve had this question for a while Is Internet this ephemeral? Can anyone be a permanent Internet boyfriend, girlfriend, their friend? Like, obviously, we both have people who’ve been thirsting over for years. But we’re not talking about that. We’re talking about the widespread recognition that someone is a Thirst object.

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Nadira Goffe: Right, when they become the first object, not just a personal Thirst object.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: After a short break, we’re going to attempt to answer that question of whether the fleeting nature of someone’s spotted in the first sun is what makes this all so fun.

Speaker 4: Okay, Dr. Seuss.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: This is the book you should not be giving to your children. And of course, we have to talk about when that very fun becomes not so fun.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: And we’re back talking about Thirst expiration dates. Before the break, we determine the necessary ingredients for an Internet boyfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, which arm looks, charisma, subtle self-awareness and capitalizing on a moment. I do want to say that for me personally, because this is very personal, I think the first three are probably the most important for someone to move from like they’re hot. Objectively, like I see them and I’m like, you’re your hot person to I will watch videos of your interviews for hours on end on YouTube. They can’t feel too much like a celebrity. They can’t feel too much like they’re kind of in that weird glass case that really famous people get after being famous for too long.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: On some level, I have to be able to envision being able to talk to them, for them to move comfortably into Thirst object territory. Which is why like to me, Brad Pitt is not internet boyfriend. And controversially, Beyonce could not be an internet girlfriend for me because I could never have a conversation with her. I would cry.

Nadira Goffe: There’s a level of attainability and accessibility that needs to exist to be the internet boyfriend or girlfriend or boyfriend type. But yeah, I mean, Beyonce and Brad, rightfully so, do not give us because we, again, like the Dylan girls would be running a literal mug. But Dylan O’Brien and Daniel Kaluuya from here on out known as videos. Yeah, I said it are great at it. Listen, I said it. Okay, video.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: But I think that’s what makes the whole capitalizing on a moment so important. Like there’s a period in a celebrity’s life where they’re moving from, I would say relative unknown, where when you describe your birth to someone else, you’re basically giving their entire IMDB page to when they’re like an undeniable star. It’s a period where they’re at that kind of perfect balance of being famous enough to be ubiquitous, but they’re not like, richer than God. And sometimes that period is just a few years, but sometimes it’s most of their career. I think someone who’s been in that sweet spot for a hot minute is actually two someones Jodie Turner-smith and Joshua Jackson. Separately, Jodie is gorgeous, undeniable, and Joshua is cute. Obviously, Pacey will forever live in a lot of people’s heart and watch Dawson’s Creek don’t come at me. But together as a couple.

Nadira Goffe: Together and together they are unstoppable. They’re just the perfect example because not only are they in that sweet spot, but they’re also relationship goals. Like We all want to be them.

Speaker 4: There’s this ad.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: They did for J. Crew last Christmas season that lives rent free in my imagination because they’re just so in love, but they’re also so clearly hot for each other. They’re also so aware of each other as like separate subjects. The way she tweets about.

Speaker 4: Joshua Jackson.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: The way she’s just like, Yeah, my husband’s hot as fuck. The way he looks at.

Nadira Goffe: Her, the way he refers to her. Yeah.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: I have zero clue how long they will be in this collective sweet spot. I think couples can actually stay in that sweet spot a bit longer than individuals can. But I’m along for the ride, no matter how long it is, and I think that’s kind of what makes Bursting Our Mind so fun inherently. I think we as a new amenity are not I don’t speak for anybody else. I think that we understand that this as in like our attraction as in this person or persons having these qualities of outlined. We know this could stop at any moment. They could get too famous. They could decide rightfully to be more private. They could stop waiting on the red carpet. They could start doing promo for whatever movie they’re doing promo for. They could wear in. I love Taylor Swift. Sure, they could say something stupid and offensive. There are so many things that just make birth stop.

Nadira Goffe: Yeah, there’s a lot that’s good about internet first being fleeting. Sometimes it’s well, you know, this person could screw up or out themselves or someone I don’t like, like you mentioned, and sometimes, as is the case for someone else, that I’d absolutely risk it all for. Dev Patel It’s fleeting in the sense that they’re truly just capitalizing on a moment when they’re only in the public eye because they’re promoting something or giving us content. You know, it’s going to be fun for a while and then it will be gone or it could be ruined. And so you want it more. It makes it more addicting and more fun.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Right? And I wish we could talk about this forever, but unfortunately, I do think we now have to talk about when third thing goes wrong. You know what I’m talking about.

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Nadira Goffe: I unfortunately do. So let’s go now to all the Internet, boyfriends and girlfriends and friends that we’ve lost along the way. There’s been too many.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: There’s a graveyard.

Speaker 4: Somewhere.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: There are just there’s so many ways that person can go wrong, ignite it be the fall of the Thirst object in question, or it can just be the fault of the people thirsting. We are all fallible and never more so than we’re horny. I will believe this for the rest of my life. In terms of both objects failing us, I must once again put. Not to Tom Hiddleston, because what he did was not offensive. It wasn’t racist. It wasn’t sexist, even say anything bad. He was just cringe. And I can’t look at him any more without thinking about that fucking shirt.

Nadira Goffe: Unforgivable. Another one that we unfortunately have to say goodbye to is one of my personal favorites, Nick Jonas, who lost a little bit of his luster when he became super. And by super, I mean super into his wife, which is all fine.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Obviously, we just talked about Joshua Jackson, but it does. There are moments where it gets too much.

Nadira Goffe: There are moments. And with Nick Jonas being super into his wife, also involves some cringe culture appreciation posts and a certain not so great Indian prime minister attending their wedding.

Speaker 4: So, yeah, let me just stop there. Yeah. You know, and the thing is.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: We could go on and on and on talking about the way celebrities have disappointed us in some way. That was actually offensive. But honestly, this episode’s been really fun so far, so I’m not going to do that. Just just insert hot person says terrible thing headline here and you’ve got the gist of where Thirst goes to die.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: So we’re going to move on to the other place where Thirst goes to die, and that’s when the Thirst airs. We, the people, the proletariat, fuck up by being too much. The best example of this I can think of is the infamous beta sex tweet. I must now read the beta sex tweet so that none of y’all ever do this. Oh, Hayden Avenatti. If candidates are like the guy who thinks good sex is pumping away while you’re making a grocery list in your head wondering when he’ll be done, O’Rourke is like the guy who was all sweet and nerdy, but who you down and makes you come into your calf cramp?

Nadira Goffe: Not only is this just a bad gross tweet, but it’s also particularly violent in a way that not to kink shame but does not seem enjoyable for anyone. Like literally anyone. Yeah. And it’s also very public and about a very political figure. And it’s also also just just. GROSS Is this what people are thinking when they were making their voting decisions?

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Political Thirst in general is just that stop thirsting over political candidates. That’s not what they’re there for. So we know what not to do, but now we’re going to tell you what to do. Think of this as like Internet Thirst one on one. We’re professors. We’re wearing cute little tweed blazers. We have glasses on. We always have glasses on because we can’t see Nadira What’s your first rule of Internet thirst?

Nadira Goffe: I think my first rule on Internet thirst is if you have a thirst, object yourself to think carefully about what you want to reveal and what you don’t, and what sort of tone you want to take on when you do it. Are you going to be a cheeky thirst or are you going to be the first star who like is pretending that they don’t know that they’re three shopping people? You know how you’re going to go about it, what your sort of modus operandi is going to be.

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Nadira Goffe: However, if you’re thirsting for someone else, my first rule is to make sure that they’re age appropriate and ideally not a scumbag. There’s one group who cultivates, maintains and even weaponizes. Yes, weaponizes their thirst with a flawless ness we could only dream of. And that group is, of course, K-Pop stans. So I’m not necessarily a K-Pop stan myself. You know, I dabble, I double, but I’m an admirer of the fandom. Whenever there’s a single trend about literally anything on Twitter, like it could be a big political decision, a sporting event, the downfall of a famous person. The first videos in that trend will always be K-Pop fan cams because the devil works hard, but the Beatles army works harder.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: They are the most prolific creators, possibly the originators of fan cams, which are one of the most important pieces of their propaganda.

Nadira Goffe: The number of Joe Jonas and Dylan O’Brien fan cams I have saved. It could level entire empire.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Listen, there’s a malcolm X fan cam that I have to stop thinking about in a year.

Speaker 4: When Rachel wrote the million, what did we just say? Okay.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Wait a minute.

Nadira Goffe: Say about.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Pluto. Okay. Hey, you cannot deny that Malcolm X was hot. I will hear nothing against that. And also, he’s not a politician. Hotness is important for the revolution. How else are we going to get people on board?

Speaker 4: But come.

Nadira Goffe: On. He wasn’t not not political, you know, but. Okay. Going anyway. Another thing K-Pop stans do well is they’re very particular and targeted about their first. A part of that is because the machine that makes K-Pop stars is very particular and targeted about who can be a K-Pop star. But it’s all aboveboard and respectful. I mean, listen, I’m sure there’s a nasty corner of the Army somewhere, but I haven’t seen it. And they all have one goal to first after this K-Pop star and let the world know that that’s what they should be doing, too.

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Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: At this point. Dr. Nadira it seems like the primary rule of Thirst engagements are be respectful and yes, I will say telling someone to run you over with their car is considered respectful. I don’t make the rules, I just document them. But basically, if you wouldn’t be embarrassed to see the object of your affection, read your tweet. I’m one of those BuzzFeed birth tweet videos. You’re probably fine. Also in person in life.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Following up on this point. Don’t be a fucking creep. Like, I cannot stress highly enough. We don’t know these people. Parasocial the word of the year, decades, century. And I’ve said it before. I’ll probably say it again because I love repeating myself. Parasocial relationships are not inherently bad, but it’s important to remember that this person that you’re thirsting after doesn’t owe you shit. They don’t owe you access to their life. They don’t owe you information about their dating habits. They don’t owe you an engagement on any level. All they may be you and the maybe is really like boldface is the art that they are creating, the reason that they’re famous. And even then they can stop whenever they want.

Nadira Goffe: Absolutely. I mean, I think that’s a role that even goes beyond Thirst and extends into general fandom and social awareness. But 100%. Don’t be an asshole when as you want your fave celeb or first object to remember, you will.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: But. Oh, right. That is a show. We’ll be back in your feed on Saturdays, so please subscribe. That is the best way to never miss an episode. Never miss a dissertation on Thursday. Please leave a reading and review an app or Spotify. Tell your friends about us. Tell your birth updates about us. You can follow us on Twitter. I see why my underscore pod, which is also you can be amongst the people that you’re bursting after. Be respectful. You can also always send us your Thirst objects at ASU. I admired Slate.com.

Nadira Goffe: I swam. I was produced by Daniel Schrader and Rachel Hampton. Daisy Rosario is our senior supervising producer and Alicia montgomery is Slate’s VP of Audio. See you online.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: Or in a BuzzFeed Thirst tweets video.

Speaker 4: It’s not the D’s. We all know what we’re.

Nadira Goffe: Here to do. We all know it.

Speaker 4: It was.

Rachel Hanson, Rachel Hampton: An explicit rating on.

Speaker 4: His, but.

Nadira Goffe: I could only dream of being so influential.