How To!

How To Orgasm

Ev’Yan Whitney on sexuality, pleasure, and staying true to you.


Episode Notes

In 2019, Brenda took a year off from their PhD program to try to feel pleasure again…with anything. Brenda has come a long way since then but there’s one thing that’s still elusive—they’ve never experienced an orgasm. Whenever they try, anxiety kicks in and they’re left feeling frustrated and, in their words “broken.” On this episode of How To!, we bring in Ev’Yan Whitney, sex educator, author, and host of the podcast Sensual Self. Ev’Yan has some wonderful wisdom for learning about your body and reconnecting with pleasure, both sexual and non-sexual, in a way that feels safe.

Additional Reading:
The Tyranny Of the Female-Orgasm Industrial Complex by Katharine Smyth
Ace by Angela Chen
Sensual Self by Ev’Yan Whitney
Understanding Asexuality by The Trevor Project

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life

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Podcast production by Derek John and Rosemary Belson with help from Katie Shepherd.

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About the Show

What if Dear Abby were an investigative reporter? Each week, Amanda Ripley and Carvell Wallace take on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, find the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask but couldn’t. Until now.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might play it on the air.

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