How To!

How To Save a Friend from a Bad Relationship

Suzanne Dubus knows firsthand how hard it can be to leave an abusive husband.


Episode Notes

One night a few months ago Elaine got a phone call out of the blue from a co-worker. She and her 12-year old daughter had checked herself into a hotel after she was beaten by husband. Elaine took her co-worker to the hospital and encouraged her to leave her husband, but a couple weeks later she was back at home. Now Elaine can’t stop worrying about her friend and wondering if (and how) she should help. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Suzanne Dubus, advocate, survivor and CEO of the Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center. Suzanne says one in five women (and one in seven men) will be the victims of severe physical violence during their lifetime. She understands all too well why it takes so long for victims of domestic violence to leave their abusers, and gives us some practical advice for what to do if we ever find ourselves in Elaine’s shoes.

If you or someone you love is struggling with intimate partner violence, visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s website or call 1-800-799-SAFE.

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Say the Right Thing at the Worst Time.”

Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John and Rosemary Belson.

This episode is supported by Work Check, an original podcast from Atlassian.


About the Show

What if Dear Abby were an investigative reporter? Each week, Amanda Ripley and Carvell Wallace take on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, find the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask but couldn’t. Until now.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might play it on the air.

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