How To!

How To Avoid Becoming Your Mother

My boyfriend says I’m turning into my overly dramatic mom. Is it too late?

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Episode Notes

Have you ever had a moment where you realized… I’m becoming like my parents? For many of us that can be a funny realization, but for Michelle it was a wakeup call. Her mother can be a bit of a drama queen, and as time has gone on, Michelle feels like the way she reacts to stressful situations mirrors that of her mother. In fact, Michelle’s boyfriend once told her she was turning into her mother, which, according to Michelle, was “the worst thing anyone could ever say to me.” In this episode of How To!, we bring on Susan David, a professor at Harvard Medical School, and the author of Emotional Agility. She has tips for how Michelle can recognize the patterns she’s falling into and turn her emotional fragility into emotional agility.

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Walk Away From an Impossible Parent.”

Do you have a relationship you’d like to mend? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson.

About the Show

What if Dear Abby were an investigative reporter? Each week, Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist Charles Duhigg (The Power of Habit) takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask but couldn’t. Until now.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might play it on the air.

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