How To!

How To Forgive the Unforgivable

A woman with a terrible family secret tries to put it behind her.

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Episode Notes

For years Claire has been holding on to a terrible family secret: Her mom physically abused Claire’s brother when he was young. How could her mom have done that? Now, over a decade later, both Claire’s mother and brother have passed away, but Claire still grapples daily with feelings of anger and deep resentment toward her mom. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Reverend Mpho Tutu van Furth, the daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and author of The Book of Forgiving. Mpho struggled with forgiveness herself after experiencing an awful tragedy in her South African home. The first step to forgiveness, Mpho says, is telling the story of the hurt—whether that means writing it down or, in Claire’s case, coming on a podcast.

Do you have a problem that needs a creative solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com.

Podcast production by Derek John and Rachael Allen.

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About the Show

What if Dear Abby were an investigative reporter? Each week, Amanda Ripley (bestselling author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out) takes on listeners’ toughest problems and, with the help of experts, finds the answers to questions you’ve always wanted to ask but couldn’t. Until now.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might play it on the air.

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