How to Do It

My Boyfriend Loves Dirty Talk. But He Doesn’t Say the One Thing I Want.

It feels really unfair.


Episode Notes

This week, Stoya and Rich advise a letter writer whose partner isn’t saying the right things, and they discuss a letter from a woman who can’t bear to touch herself.

Mentioned in this episode:
My New Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein

Continue following Rich and Stoya and their How to Do It column on Slate here.

Production by Chau Tu.


About the Show

For three years, Stoya and Rich Juzwiak have been giving advice to Slate readers on all things sex—mismatched libidos, secret desires, (bad) sexting, surprising fetishes, and assorted other wild things. Now they’re joining forces to answer their most jaw-dropping questions yet, sometimes with the help of special guests. Whatever you want to know about sex—truly, whatever—they’ll tell you how to do it.

Got a question for Stoya and Rich? Send it anonymously here or leave a voicemail at (347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show.

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  • Jessica Stoya is a writer, performer, and pornographer. She is the author of Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn, published by Not a Cult.

  • Rich Juzwiak is a senior writer for Jezebel. He has written for the New York Times, the Washington Post, Gawker, and previously gave advice in the web series Pot Psychology.