How to Do It

The Question You Can Never Ask Men on Dating Apps

Is this really so bad?

Illustration depicting a female with a microphone

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Episode Notes

This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who wonders if she was wrong for asking a certain question on a dating app. They also advise a letter writer who’s caught her husband cheating online.

Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.


About the Show

For three years, Stoya and Rich Juzwiak have been giving advice to Slate readers on all things sex—mismatched libidos, secret desires, (bad) sexting, surprising fetishes, and assorted other wild things. Now they’re joining forces to answer their most jaw-dropping questions yet, sometimes with the help of special guests. Whatever you want to know about sex—truly, whatever—they’ll tell you how to do it.

Got a question for Stoya and Rich? Send it anonymously here or leave a voicemail at (347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show.

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  • Jessica Stoya is a writer, performer, and pornographer. She is the author of Philosophy, Pussycats, & Porn, published by Not a Cult.

  • Rich Juzwiak is a senior writer for Jezebel. He has written for the New York Times, the Washington Post, Gawker, and previously gave advice in the web series Pot Psychology.