Politics

Hand to God, They Found the New Classified Joe Biden Documents in His Garage, Next to a Corvette

Joe Biden speaks in front of a backdrop that says "Gas prices are down more than $1.70."
It’s time to put some classified material in the trunk and hit the road. Andrew Caballero-Reynolds/AFP via Getty Images

Donald Trump has been in hot water for a while for taking classified documents from the White House and storing them in, among other places, a closet near the pool at his Mar-a-Lago resort. A few days ago, meanwhile, President Joe Biden’s representatives said his attorneys found some classified material in his vice presidential papers at an office affiliated with the University of Pennsylvania. On Wednesday, reports emerged that classified documents had been found in a “second location” related to Biden.

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On Thursday, the White House said that this second location was “storage space in the President’s Wilmington residence garage.” At a subsequent press conference, Fox News gadfly Peter Doocy pressed Biden on the wisdom of storing the documents next to “your Corvette”—we’re still trying to track down how Doocy knew there was a Corvette there—which led to this exchange:

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White House reporter Philip Wegmann added some backstory:

(The car Biden was washing in the “White House driveway” in one of the entries in the Onion’s famous/fictional “Diamond Joe” series was a white Trans Am.)

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Now, for the record: Until there is evidence that Biden knowingly took or kept these documents, this is not the same as Trump’s Mar-a-Lago affair, which involves a larger volume of documents that were kept on the premises even after the National Archives asked for them and attorneys representing Trump attested that everything that needed to be returned had been given back. From what we know so far, Biden’s lawyers found the documents; returned them; went looking for more documents that were classified and in Biden’s personal possession; found some; and returned them. (Update, Thursday, Jan. 12, 1:40 p.m.: Attorney general Merrick Garland has appointed a special counsel to investigate Biden’s handling of the documents.)

Nonetheless, it is also a true statement that presidents of the United States, of both parties, simply cannot stop getting in trouble for storing national secrets in places that are commonly associated with the effort to impress hot babes.

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