Remember Donald Trump? He’s still around! Without any inflammatory Twitter missives to fire off these days since being booted from the social media platform, the onetime president of the United States has been forced to take some of his many, many beefs old skool—to the written letter. Trump’s newfound reliance on non-tweet-based communication can be seen in his recent dust-up with the Screen Actors Guild, which held a disciplinary meeting this week to consider revoking Trump’s membership in the organization. This, of course, would be a perfect opportunity for a Trump tweet: a takedown, a whataboutism, a deeply personal attack on someone no one had ever heard of, anything! Instead, we got a Trump letter, resigning before he could be ousted.
“I write to you today regarding the so-called Disciplinary Committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership. Who cares!” the Trump letter begins. Ahh, that’s the stuff. Feels like 2020 all over again. It still sends a bolt of anxiety coursing through my nervous system. “While I’m not familiar with your work, I’m very proud of my work on movies such as Home Alone 2, Zoolander and Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps; and television shows including The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Saturday Night Live, and of course, one of the most successful shows in television history, The Apprentice–to name just a few!” the letter continues. Trump then goes on to boast about how he helped cable news ratings, which “created thousands of jobs at networks such as MSDNC and Fake News CNN, among many others.” Trump seems to have realized a letter, if done a certain way, is really just a collection of tweets.
Trump still has the same arsenal of petty insults at his disposal, but his nonsensical self seems more pathetic than terrifying in letter form (and without the nuclear codes). “I no longer wish to be associated with your union,” Trump said in conclusion. “As such, this letter is to inform you of my immediate resignation from SAG-AFTRA.” “Thank you,” the union replied.
Hate to say it: would have worked better as a tweet.