The Slatest

All of Donald Trump’s Remaining Lawyers (Two Lawyers) Have the Coronavirus

Rudy Giuliani and Jenna Ellis, shot from the side, sit next to each other at a hearing while Giuliani, who is speaking, holds up a white binder.
Every single lawyer in this picture has the coronavirus. Rey Del Rio/Getty Images

White House chief of staff Mark Meadows was supposed to lead Donald Trump’s “post-election legal and political battle,” but he tested positive for COVID-19. Then Republican operative David Bossie was supposed to do that job, but he got COVID-19 as well. Former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski was involved briefly with the “stop the count” effort [call and response voice, cupping hand to ear] before getting what? [Crowd roars back] COVID-19! Subsequently the election-lawsuit ball was picked up and advanced (correction: the election-lawsuit ball was run backward out of the end zone and through an entrance tunnel into a dumpster behind the stadium) by Rudy Giuliani, but on Monday, he was admitted to a hospital because he has COVID-19. Fortunately, Giuliani was working with right-wing activist Jenna Ellis, which means that she can carry the legal fight forward with a skeleton crew while Giuliani is indis—hang on, we’re getting something over the transom:

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First of all, don’t go to a Christmas party at the White House while Donald “Coronavirus” Trump is president and then purport to tell the press that you’re afraid someone who was there might’ve had the coronavirus. We’re all better than that. Second, wow, irony. The president’s recount operatives have all contracted the coronavirus while attempting to overturn the results of an election that he lost in large part because his administration failed to control the coronavirus. It’s like the story of Achilles if Achilles’ heel were his whole body.

This post has to end now because it has the coronavirus.

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