The Slatest

Because Everything Is Going So Well, a Trump Ally Is Now Offering Cash Rewards for Voter Fraud Cases

Packs of freshly printed 20 USD notes are processed for bundling and packaging at the US Treasury's Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Washington, DC July 20, 2018. - The dollar slid against the euro and pound on Friday, July 20, 2018, as US President Donald Trump adopted an aggressive posture on trade and foreign exchange, stoking talk of a currency war in addition to a trade war. (Photo by Eva HAMBACH / AFP)        (Photo credit should read EVA HAMBACH/AFP via Getty Images)
A classic cash-for-fraud scheme that isn’t dodgy and problematic at all. Eva Hambach/Getty Images

How it started: Voter fraud EVERYWHERE! AHHHHH!!!!

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How it’s going: We’ll give you a MILLION dollars in return for some shred of evidence of voter fraud. Please.

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We’ve arrived at the cash-for-fraud stage of the race. Dan Patrick, the Republican lieutenant governor of the state of Texas, is now offering a reward for individuals that have information on instances of voter fraud. In a release Wednesday, Patrick said he just wanted to “incentivize, encourage and reward people to come forward and report voter fraud.” Uh-huh. “Whistleblowers and tipsters should turn over their evidence to local law enforcement,” the Patrick statement reads. “Anyone who provides information that leads to an arrest and final conviction of voter fraud will be paid a minimum of $25,000.”

Twenty-five large! That’s a lot of quiche! A quick perusal of Patrick’s Wikipedia page indicates that he probably doesn’t actually have a million dollars to burn? After a career as a, ahem, journalist, failed bar owner, and conservative radio host. This must be a cause that’s very close to the lieutenant governor’s heart. Or … he knows his (hypothetical) money is safe since voter fraud convictions are exceedingly rare to the point of near-nonexistence. But you have to appreciate the chutzpah of turning frothing red state MAGA-ites loose, looking for dirt on their neighbors that might feasibly be construed as a bankable voter irregularity. Seems like a nice way to finish off the 2020 race. Maybe we should privatize the legal system altogether while we’re at it?

The Trump voter fraud fraud apparently isn’t going so well. Judging by the myriad of absurd lawsuits filed by the campaign, Trumpworld doesn’t appear to be exactly swimming in credible cases of voter fraud, much less a historic, sweeping multistate fraud that would swing the result of an election. What Trump true believers are finding out, however, is that the American legal system isn’t Reddit.

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