Often, Donald Trump does dumb things that make you feel like you’re losing your mind because he gets a pass and somehow this is the real world now. Sometimes, however, Donald Trump does something super-duper dumb that manages to perfectly encapsulate how dumb everything he says and does is, and those rare instances provide a moment of cosmic clarity—and are far more gratifying than I’d like to admit. On Friday, President Donald Trump, not much of a reader, tweeted out an article from the Babylon Bee, a satirical news site with a Christian bent, that describes itself as “fake news you can trust.” And in that moment, Trump managed to throw himself a perfectly timed alley-oop, which he leapt to grab midair, double-pump, and dunk … on himself … on the wrong basket.
Trump found the headline “Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News” too good not to throw out into the digital ether to make his point that he’s the real victim here. “Wow, this has never been done in history,” Trump tweet-fumed. “This includes his really bad interview last night. Why is Twitter doing this. Bringing more attention to Sleepy Joe & Big T.”
“After seeing account after account tweet out one particularly bad story, CEO Jack Dorsey realized he had to take action,” the Onion-esque story reads. “Dorsey smashed a glass box in his office reading ‘Break In Case Of Bad Publicity For Democrats.’ Inside the case was a sledgehammer for smashing Twitter’s servers. … Dorsey ran downstairs and started smashing as many computers as he could, but he did need to ask for some help, as the hammer was pretty heavy.”
Other stories on the Babylon Bee include:
Afterward, the site took a well-deserved victory lap.
Maybe Donald Trump shouldn’t be president again?
Support our 2020 coverage
Slate is covering the election issues that matter to you. Support our work with a Slate Plus membership. You’ll also get a suite of great benefits.Join Slate Plus