The Slatest

Trump Says He Knows Dishwashers Today Are the Pits Because “Women” Told Him So

On the night of his impeachment, President Trump was in Battle Creek, Michigan for a rally. It was a typical Trump affair, a two-hour meandering address that was nonsensical to its core, touching on all of the most important issues of our time: the 2016 election, the funeral arrangements of a deceased Democratic congressman, and how dishwashers aren’t what they used to be. “Remember the dishwasher? You’d press it, boom! There’d be like an explosion,” Trump said of the kitchen appliance that he 100 percent has never used in his life. “Five minutes later you open it up, the steam pours out.”

Why is Trump talking about dishwashers? It’s part of Trump’s core campaign message: nostalgia for a fictitious era in American history where everything was better, simpler. Back then, men were men and our appliances DGAF. Dishwashers didn’t spare water’s feelings. Not that men would use dishwashers in Trump’s version of history. Don’t even get the president of the United States started on low-flow toilets. But now even our dishwashers are PC. “Now, you press it 12 times. Women tell me …” Trump said. “You know, they give you four drops of water.”

Women tell him. Binders of them.