The Slatest

At the New York Times, Bedbugs

“Evidence of bedbugs” was discovered on every floor of the newsroom.

A woman on her phone passes in front of the New York Times building in Times Square
People walk by the front of the New York Times building on Sept. 6.
Angela Weiss/Getty Images

While staffers at the New York Times headquarters already suffer the indignity of having to go to work every day in Times Square, the injustices apparently do not stop there. At noon on Monday, the Times sent out the following email to its New York employees:

Dear Colleagues,

During an extermination sweep of the newsroom over the weekend, we discovered evidence of bedbugs in a wellness room (02E4-253) on the second floor, a couch on the third floor and a booth on the fourth floor. These specific areas were then swept by professionals and found to be otherwise clean. In an abundance of caution, the second-floor room has been temporarily closed, the booth has been blocked off and the couch has been removed to be treated and professionally cleaned.

Additionally, evidence of possible bedbug activity was found in a few personal lockers on the third floor. Individuals associated with those lockers have been contacted and treatment is underway.

We continue to monitor the situation and, as a precaution, we intend to sweep all New York Times-occupied floors. We will provide updates as they become available.

If you have any questions, please contact Pat Whelan from Facilities at [redacted].

Building Operations

The second, third, and fourth floors, in addition to being the newfound home of a small army of bloodsucking parasites, also happen to house the entirety of the Times’ newsroom. A source inside the newsroom has confirmed that people are “freaking out” and taking photos of the cordoned-off areas.

Do you know which wellness-room-and-couch-loving New York Times staffer is gliding from floor to floor in a Pig Pen–esque cloud of bedbugs, terrorizing booths and colleagues? Have you seen any bedbugs at the Times? Are you a bedbug? Please let us know.

We’ve reached out to the New York Times for comment and will update if and when we hear back.