The Slatest

Trump Rolls Out New Explanation for Calling Tim Cook “Tim Apple,” Which Contradicts His First Explanation

Tim Cook and Donald Trump, wearing suits, sit at a conference table in front of an American flag.
Tim Apple and Donald President at the White House on March 6.
Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images

Last Wednesday, Donald Trump accidentally called Apple CEO Tim Cook “Tim Apple” at a White House event:

Some #resistance-brained people no doubt interpreted the slip-up as damning evidence that Trump’s cognitive capacity is in decline; for the most part, though, it was one of those tiny news cycle blips that induces a small chuckle and is then immediately forgotten. Except that Trump has definitely not forgotten it. On Sunday, Axios reported that he’d told donors at a private event that he had not, in fact, called Tim Cook “Tim Apple”:

On Friday night, under a tent erected over the pool at his Mar-a-Lago club in Florida, President Trump claimed the media were spreading “fake news” when they said he called the CEO of Apple “Tim Apple.”

Trump told the donors that he actually said “Tim Cook Apple” really fast, and the “Cook” part of the sentence was soft. But all you heard from the “fake news,” he said, was “Tim Apple.”

If you go back and watch the video again, it’s obvious that this is not true—Axios called it one of the president’s “weirdest lies ever”—and, on Monday, he introduced a new approach:

Ah … yes … saving time by skipping the four-letter, one-syllable word Cook, a classic efficiency gambit.

God willing this story will continue through at least a third explanation that contradicts both the first two explanations and the video evidence. More like Tim Covfefe, am I right?