The Slatest

Kirsten Gillibrand Just Emailed Me to Say She Thinks About Me Before She Falls Asleep

Gillibrand, holding papers and wearing a black suit, stands in front of flags.
Leave me out of your weird nighttime ruminations, Democratic New York Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand!
Alex Wong/Getty Images

Just got an email from one of my senators, New York Democrat Kirsten Gillibrand, that started like so:

 Hi Ben,

When I go to sleep at night or gather my team to talk about our priorities, I think about you.

Excuse me?

When I go to sleep at night … I think about you.

What’s going on here? The email went on to say that Gillibrand needed my opinion on some pressing issues and asked me to click a link to a survey. After doing so, I gave answers to a series of not-entirely-incisive questions, like this one:

Are you concerned that President Trump and the Republican Congress will take us backward on the issues you care about?

- Yes, I’m concerned that President Trump and Republicans will take us backward on important issues.

- No, I trust President Trump and Republicans to move us forward on the issues I care about.

I picked yes. Then, on the sixth page of the survey, Gillibrand asked me to give her $5. Her exact words were “will you give me $5”:

I’m up for reelection this year – and since I don’t accept money from corporate PACs, I’m depending on grassroots supporters like you to help protect this critical seat. Will you give $5 now to help me keep fighting against President Trump’s agenda?

So, what we seem to have here is the Obama-popularized tactic of targeted, “relatably” written campaign email taken to a desperate extreme.

But honestly, it is relatable. I, too, often become consumed before falling asleep with the question of how I might make more money because I’m not getting enough of it from corporations. It’s the struggle of our times, really. Where do I send my $5?