The Slatest

Trump’s Lawyered-Sounding Morning Tweets Employ the Reasoning of a Precocious Teenage Legal Mind

WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 02:  U.S. President Donald Trump walks into the East Room for the award ceremony for National Teacher of the Year Mandy Manning at the White House May 2, 2018 in Washington, DC. Manning is a math and English teacher at Newcomer Center at Joel E. Ferris High School in Spokane, Washington, and works with refugee and immigrant students.  (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)
Nailed it. Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

On Wednesday evening, newly minted Trump legal eagle Rudy Giuliani went on Hannity and may have gotten the president into an even bigger mess when it comes to the $130,000 payment to keep Stormy Daniels quiet about an alleged affair with Trump. Giuliani told the Fox News host that Trump reimbursed his lawyer Michael Cohen for the payment, which totally contradicted basically everything the president and Cohen have been saying about the hush money. The admission, in turn, raises the question of whether the payment, made just before the election in 2016, constitutes an illegal campaign contribution.

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Trump, because he’s bad at talking, but maybe only slightly less bad at tweeting, took to Twitter Thursday morning to clear things up as only he can.

Behold: Retainer! No campaign! No collusion!

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“Mr. Cohen, an attorney…” Whose first name I don’t remember off the top of my head entered into something “known as a non-disclosure agreement,” which I had never even heard of myself before whatshisname explained it to me. Watching Donald Trump try to wriggle out of jams is like watching a 7-year-old try to explain to his mom why all of the chocolate chip cookies somehow disappeared.

As Trump was tweeting, however, Giuliani was [still] talking.

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Good lawerin’, Rudy.

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