The Slatest

Ohio Gubernatorial Candidate Inadvertently Announces He Made Love to Senator Bob Taft in a Hayloft

Ohio judge William O'Neill and Senator Robert Taft of Ohio
Ohio judge Bill O’Neill and former Ohio Sen. Robert Taft.

Ohio Progressive and Reuters/Matt Sullivan MS/mk

Ohio Supreme Court justice Bill O’Neill announced in late October that he is running for the Democratic nomination in next year’s state governor’s race. On Friday, he made an equally important announcement: That he has done the nasty with so many smokin’ hot babes you wouldn’t believe it. No—really:

Several highlights here.

1. “It is time to speak up on behalf of all heterosexual males.” Factcheck: True. Heterosexual males have gone too long without having a platform in politics.

2. The ambiguous phrasing of the fourth sentence can be read to suggest that Bill O’Neill’s sexual conquests include both “a gorgeous personal secretary” and “Senator Bob Taft (Senior),” to whom he made passionate love in a barn. Attaboy, Bill! (Incidentally, I think he means Bob Taft Jr., because Bob Taft Sr. died in 1953 and Bill O’Neill was born in 1947.)

3. O’Neill has since edited the post … but only to remove its references to Taft and late Progressive Insurance CEO Peter Lewis. The insane parts about describing his sex achievements as if they are related to reporting on assault and harassment remain intact.

Bill O’Neill ‘18!