The Slatest

Trump Says He’s Most Mistreated Politician Ever, May Have Forgotten About the Ones Who Were Brutally Murdered

Above: Donald Trump telling graduates of the Coast Guard Academy that he has been treated worse than any politician “in history.”

Below, with apologies to those who made this joke more quickly: a list of some politicians who might question Trump’s assessment.

1. Julius Caesar, who was stabbed to death

2. President Abraham Lincoln, who was shot in the head

3. President John F. Kennedy, who was shot in the head

4. Robert F. Kennedy, who was shot in the head


5. Martin Luther King Jr., who was shot in the face

6. Gandhi, who was shot three times in the chest

7. President William McKinley, who was shot twice in the stomach

8. President James Garfield, who was shot in the back and suffered through more than two months of horrendous, grotesque infection before dying


9. Anwar Sadat, who was sprayed with bullets by a treasonous cell of soldiers armed with AK-47s

10. Yitzhak Rabin, who was shot twice in the back

11. Leon Trotsky, who was smashed in the head with an ax

12. All the other hundreds of politicians who were shot, stabbed, guilliotined, hanged, torn to pieces by angry mobs, or shot and then hung upside down from steel girders after their bodies were desecrated

And, of course, there was also the American president who was forced to spend significant time and mental energy during his term refuting a white-nationalist reality-TV idiot’s repeated, baseless allegations that, because he was black, he must have been born in Africa. Pretty raw deal for that guy, too.