The Slatest

Today’s Impeach-O-Meter: What the Orb Foretells

Donald Trump at the Global Center for Combatting Extremist Ideology in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia on May 21.

Saudi TV/Reuters

In the tradition of the Clintonometer and the Trump Apocalypse Watch, the Impeach-O-Meter is a wildly subjective and speculative daily estimate of the likelihood that Donald Trump leaves office before his term ends, whether by being impeached (and convicted) or by resigning under threat of same.

On Sunday, in Saudi Arabia, Donald Trump touched a glowing orb which symbolized the global battle against extremism or something. Many excellent jokes were made online about Trump and the orb, which is fine—everyone needs to have the occasional orb-related laugh. But how will his contact with the spherical, radiant mystery object affect his approval rating? How will it affect his political capital among vulnerable congressional Republicans? How will it affect the likelihood that he is impeached by the House, convicted by the Senate, and dragged out of the White House by a U.S. marshal named Big Jake who is then immediately given a primetime show on MSNBC (Big Jake’s Jake Takes)?

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Let’s take a look.

Ways in which touching the orb makes Trump more likely to be impeached:

  • Its unfathomable, multi-dimensional being-ness cannot be described by human language, let alone understood in a manner that would make its relevance to our quotidian concerns comprehensible.

Ways in which touching the orb makes Trump less likely to be impeached:

  • Its unfathomable, multi-dimensional being-ness cannot be described by human language, let alone understood in a manner that would make its relevance to our quotidian concerns comprehensible.

On the whole, it seems like a wash. Our likelihood holds steady at 35 percent.

Photo illustration by Natalie Matthews-Ramo. Photos by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images, Win McNamee/Getty Images, Chris Kleponis-Pool/Getty Images, Drew Angerer/Getty Images, and Peter Parks-Pool/Getty Images.

Photo illustration by Natalie Matthews-Ramo. Photos by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images, Win McNamee/Getty Images, Chris Kleponis-Pool/Getty Images, Drew Angerer/Getty Images, and Peter Parks-Pool/Getty Images.

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