The Slatest

Today’s Trump Apocalypse Watch: Does Hillary Have This in the Bag? Not if You Ask Bill Mitchell.

What are you going to trust? Halloween costume sales or these guys? Choose wisely.

Andrew Toth/Getty Images for AWXII

The Trump Apocalypse Watch is a subjective daily estimate, using a scale of one to four horsemen, of how likely it is that Donald Trump will be elected president, thus triggering an apocalypse in which we all die.

This is Bill Mitchell.

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Bill is a conservative radio host and Trump supporter. He tweets a lot.

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Most of the time, Bill tweets about polls. Sometimes he likes polls.

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Sometimes he doesn’t.

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Bill never changes his mind about Trump, though. He knows he’s going to win. Even when the polls say he won’t.

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Bill, you see, knows how to tell who’s really ahead.

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Sure, his metrics might seem unconventional. But Bill is a smart man …

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… of sound judgment.

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Bill’s faith in Trump is unshakable. So much so that you might begin to wonder yourself if he’s onto something.

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Maybe Trump really can win this thing.

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Hmm.

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Probably not.

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Donald Trump is probably going to lose.

Sorry, Bill.

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