The Slatest

Ted Cruz Is a Very Bad, Low-Energy Trump Campaign Volunteer

DefeaTED.

G.J. McCarthy

In late September, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, whose messy on-again, off-again relationship with Donald Trump has been the romantic highlight of this campaign season, finally bit the bullet and endorsed the man who suggested his father had a hand in the Kennedy assassination.

The honeymoon doesn’t seem to be going particularly well. Last night, Cruz paid a visit to the Tarrant County, Texas, Republican headquarters where G.J. McCarthy of the Dallas Morning News found him making calls on the behalf of … no one in particular.

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Hi, this is Ted Cruz calling. I was calling to encourage you to come out and vote on Election Day. This election is critical for the direction of our country, and I urge you to come out to support freedom, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. You can vote by absentee ballot. If you need help getting an application for an absentee ballot, the Republican Party of Texas can help you with that. Or you can vote in person. But I just wanted to encourage you to come out and vote. Thank you and God bless you.

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Vote for whom?

Listen, Ted. The Trump Train’s a-chuggin’ to its final destination. If you’re coming aboard, saying the man’s name is literally the very least you could do. And would it hurt you to up the energy level a bit? Show some oomph—like you did that time you called Trump a “sniveling coward” for insulting your wife. Or when you lambasted Trump for pretending to be a supporter of the working class while hiring illegal immigrants and using foreign workers for his products. Or when you stared down a Trump supporter and told him Donald Trump would destroy the Second Amendment with Supreme Court appointments. Or that time during a debate when you said Donald Trump lies on a daily basis. Or that time when you said Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are “flip sides of the same coin.” Or that time when you insisted that Donald Trump winning the election would be a win for liberal Democrats given that Trump himself is a “big government, New York liberal.”

Where’s the passion, Ted? Put some pep in your step.

Read more Slate coverage of the 2016 campaign. 

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