The Slatest

Hillary Clinton Apparently Hates Water. Or Does She?

Damning photographic evidence.

Joe Raedle/Getty Images

Politico came out on Monday with at tick-tock of Hillary Clinton’s big sick day. There didn’t seem to be too much new to report about the Democratic presidential candidate’s case of pneumonia, her overall health, or what it might mean for her campaign.

There was this one tidbit, though:

Clinton’s pneumonia isn’t severe, according to two people with direct knowledge of the candidate’s condition, and she is expected to return to the campaign trail as early as this week. The real issue is chronic dehydration, exacerbated by her lung problem and Clinton’s reluctance to drink water, which has become a source of tension with her staff.

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“She won’t drink water, and you try telling Hillary Clinton she has to drink water,” said a person in her orbit—who described a frenzied rehydration mission that included multiple bottles of water and Gatorade.

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But wait, isn’t water the source of all life and how we replenish our precious bodily fluids? And as a human, wouldn’t Clinton be a regular consumer of water out of pure necessity?

It turns out that, as of 2008 at least, yes, Hillary Clinton did drink “tons of water.” This was according to an interview she gave to Katie Couric the last time she was running for president (italics mine):

I take—I take vitamins. I—I drink tea, not coffee anymore. I have really stopped drinking diet drinks. Because I found that they gave you a jolt, but they weren’t good over the long run. I used to drink a lot of them. I drink tons of water. Just as much water as I can possibly drink.

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I suppose it’s possible that Clinton’s water consumption habits have changed in the past eight years, possibly due to a change in bladder proportions or some other unforeseen factor. But given her campaign’s oft-criticized penchant for obfuscating the truth on issues of great controversy, isn’t it possible that her staff is lying—or that Hillary was lying in 2008?

Here is some startling evidence that it was the former:

Whatever the real truth, this scandal needs a name. I propose “Waterghazi” or “Wetwater” because nothing more obvious comes to mind.

Read more of Slate’s election coverage.

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