Our friends at the Reuters agency have put together a slideshow of presidential candidates eating food. It is an important document of our bizarre electoral tradition in which crowds of reporters and civilians gather at diners to watch wealthy and/or powerful people eat affordable regular-Joe food. It also confirms the beliefs you likely already held about each of this year’s remaining major candidates. Namely:
1. Ted Cruz is unfamiliar with the ways that normal humans do things like eating.
CONSUME POPULAR DAIRY PRODUCT, PLAYFULLY SERVE POPULAR DAIRY PRODUCT TO WIFE, VERY AFFECTIONATE AND RELATABLE.
2. Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton have a relationship that is at once familiar and galactically inscrutable.
[stares into middle distance while eating an omelette]
3. Bernie Sanders still thinks he is a street urchin.
You’ve got to get the soup down as quickly as possible before they grab you by the collar and throw you out of the diner because some fancy Manhattan type wants your table.
4. Donald Trump won’t stop talking.
“We’re going to get the most bacon, the absolute most bacon you will see anywhere on any plate, just a tremendously ostentatious and unnecessary amount of bacon.”
I look forward to the hundreds of additional pictures that will be taken between now and November of presidential candidates eating food.