The Slatest

Trump Implies Clearly Harmless Reporter Was Threatening Him With What Appears to Be a Pen

Michelle Fields (center), Donald Trump, and Corey Lewandowski (far right) in a screenshot of C-SPAN video from March 8.

C-SPAN

When former Breitbart.com reporter Michelle Fields first wrote that Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski had grabbed and pulled her after a March 8 press conference, leaving bruises on her arm, Lewandowski announced that he had “never touched [her]” and Trump suggested that she had “made the story up.” But now that police have charged Lewandowski with battery and released video of him grabbing Fields, Trump—whose campaign is premised on the idea that only he has the fortitude and strength to defeat ISIS, Vladimir Putin, and the North Koreans—is now arguing that Fields presented a threat to his person because she was brushing against him and holding what appears to be a pen.

Seriously. Look!

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And:

It’s been a long week, hasn’t it? [Looks at calendar] [Realizes it’s only Tuesday] [Spends rest of life in old-fashioned insane asylum staring at wall while orderlies tell visitors that “it was the election of aught-16 that broke him for good”]

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