Donald Trump on Monday visited our nation’s capital to schmooze some conservative power players at a prominent law firm and deliver a speech at a conference of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. In between those stops, Trump held a press conference in what will soon be the atrium of the Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C., located in the storied Old Post Office building on Pennsylvania Avenue, a few blocks from the White House. Slate attended this press conference, which was your usual Donald Trump press conference. The standard Thing That Would Destroy Any Other Republican Campaign But Will Somehow Help Trump was an observation that perhaps Israel should pay the United States for protection. He also referred to Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who had been taunting him as a “loser” on social media Monday, as “the Indian.”
As he was finishing taking questions, Trump recognized that he nearly forgot to show reporters “the ballroom” that will be part of his hotel. So he led us all on a “tour” of “the ballroom.” Now let’s return the favor and give you the tour, reader!
Here’s the lousy group of pack rats entering some dank construction site because lousy Donald Trump told them to. The one with the red hair turning around is your trusty Slate correspondent, who right there is thinking, “This could very easily be an abbatoir and we’re about to be slaughtered en masse, is there any way to escape now, no, crap, it’s too late, let’s just go in then?”
What does a Trump ballroom under construction look like? Well, it looks like a big ol’ rectangular room under construction, with the metal beams and the dust and all, where a bunch of reporters jostle for good viewing position of Mark Halperin asking Donald Trump boring questions:
Sometimes, in a Donald Trump Luxury D.C. Hotel Ballroom, reporters with video cameras want to get the best angle of Mark Halperin asking Donald Trump boring questions. To do so, they sometimes stand on available construction material, like stacks of drywall:
One of Trump’s press assistants began screaming “DO NOT STAND ON THE DRYWALL!” about midway through the tour of this doo-da. Here’s why:
And here is Donald Trump and a bunch of reporters milling around a dumpster, in which we all belong:
Did everyone make it out alive? Who knows, who cares? Sorry for the damage, guy.