The Slatest

Bobby Jindal Proudly Announces Meteoric Rise to Tie for Fifth Place in Iowa Poll

Bobby Jindal speaks at an Iowa Faith and Freedom Coalition event in Des Moines on Sept. 19, 2015.

Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images

One of the themes of the 2016 Republican presidential primary race has been the comical superfluousness of Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, whose campaign appears to consist entirely of sending out badly punctuated, nonsensical press releases and tweets. Today we may have reached maximum Jindal:

Why is “on the move” in quotation marks? Who is being quoted?

FYI, the complete results of the poll in question actually say Jindal tied for fifth place with Marco Rubio and Mike Huckabee; also, the poll’s margin of error was 4.7 percent. Per RealClearPolitics’ running averages, Jindal’s true level of support is actually around 4 percent in Iowa (seventh place) and an impressively low 0.5 percent nationally (eleven-zillionth place). Bobby Jindal is on the move (toward an inevitable announcement that he is dropping out of the 2016 presidential race)!