The Slatest

Scalia Gets Quite Sassy in Zinger-Laden King v. Burwell Dissent

Justice Antonin Scalia is always ready to dispense the judicial sass.

Darren Ornitz/Reuters

Justice Antonin Scalia, the irascibly verbose conservative jurist whom liberals love to hate, did not agree with the Supreme Court’s majority decision upholding Obamacare in King v. Burwell. And he was quite sassy about saying so. His dissent starts like this, and doesn’t let up:

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Quite absurd!

Yowza.

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That is what’s known in philosophy circles as a “devastating epistemological mega-burn.”

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!!!

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It’s simply applesauce. Pure applesauce! [Pounding fist on table] Applesauuuuuuuce!!!!!!

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There are really a lot of lines like this. It’s a very cranky piece of writing.

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All the applesass and applesauce, though, is just a prelude to a dissent-closing hashtag-style mega-zinger.

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In summary, someone on the Supreme Court was really playing to the right-wing-activist cheap seats today by writing catchphrases into his legal argument that are pretty much ready to be copied and pasted into a talking points memo. And also, someone better call the Tabasco corporation and tell them we’re going to need more of their signature hot sauce because Justice Antonin Scalia poured all of the world’s existing hot sauce supply out on the Supreme Court majority in his scathing King v. Burwell dissent, which was joined by Justices Thomas and Alito.

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