The Slatest

Rand Paul Suggests Disturbingly That He Enjoyed Having Summer Jobs as a Teen

Rand Paul officially announced Tuesday that he’s running for president in 2016, and his speech was evidently co-written by your dad.

The relevant passage:

From an early age, I worked. I taught swimming lessons, I mowed lawns. I did landscaping, I put roofs on houses. I painted houses. I never saw work, though, as punishment. Work always gave me a sense of who I am. Self-esteem can’t be given, it must be earned. Work is not punishment, work is the reward!

Ah, yes, the summertime opportunity to mow an old man’s lawn in 94-degree heat while, elsewhere, your friends played basketball and drank Cokes with girls—such a coveted reward for making it through the school year.

I always thought money was the reward invovled in that situation. Is Rand Paul a damn communist?