The Slatest

White House Aide in Prostitution Scandal Was ID’d Last Year via Weird Poem in Online Comment Section

The Hilton where Dach stayed in Cartagena.

Photo by Joaquin Sarmiento/Reuters

On Wednesday, the Washington Post published a report about allegations that, contrary to White House statements, a presidential advance team aide named Jonathan Dach may have paid a prostitute during a 2012 trip to Colombia that led to the firing and resignation of a number of Secret Service agents who’d engaged in similar behavior.* (Dach denies that he hired a prostitute.) It’s further been claimed by one investigator that administration officials covered up allegations about Dach in a Department of Homeland Security report on the incident. The vague allegation of a White House–related coverup had been discussed before in news stories and a Senate report, but Dach’s identity and the specifics of his alleged activities hadn’t been made public before this week. Or at least that’s what most people thought on Thursday. But it turns out that an accusation against Dach that matches up with the Post’s report had actually been left, via an odd old-fashioned poem, in a comment on a Yale student magazine article in May 2013. From IvyGate:

I have been on the Rumpus staff since my freshman year and served as its Editor-in-Chief during the 2013-2014 school year. During the transitionary period at the end of the Spring 2013 semester, I was fucking around on the website’s WordPress account, looking through old posts and comments, and discovered the following.

Posted by “Sarah“ from a Hushmail account on May 5th, 2013 on the 2012 Secret Society Issue, the annual roster release of Yale’s secret societies:

Little Jonny Dach
With his little Jonny cock
Has a secret he wants no one to know…

It goes on in that pseudo-whimsical fashion. There’s also a reference to Dach’s membership in a Yale secret society, a mention of the “Service,” and threats of revenge. From Thursday’s Post story:

Former and current Secret Service agents said they are angry at the White House’s public insistence that none of its team members were involved and its private decision to not fully investigate one of its own — while their colleagues had their careers ruined or hampered.

The lesson, as always, is that everything that happens in the United States can ultimately be traced back to weird conflicts involving Yale students.

Stay awake, America.

Correction, Oct. 10, 2014: This post originally misspelled Colombia.