The Slatest

Murderous Death-Clowns Stalk Southern California



Sinister murder-clowns, their faces emanating pure evil, are haunting Southern California, LAist reports. It started in the city of Wasco.

The Wasco Clown has been terrorizing (or delighting) our neighbors to the north in Kern County by wandering around late at night since October 1. He’s even got his own Instagram account, where he can be seen prancing around with a fistful of balloons.

A different clown marauds horribly in nearby Delano.

To paraphrase the Beach Boys, “I wish [we weren’t all going to be stabbed to death in our beds by] California [ghost clowns].”