The Secret Service’s New Rules: Go Puritan or Go Home

Olivier Knox is first to publish the complete list of new Secret Service guidelines. I’ll focus on the guidelines that recommend agents to behave like high school students taking awesome trips to Europe for Model United Nations.

3. Foreign nationals, excluding hotel staff and official counterparts, are prohibited in your hotel room.

What if they’re Americans, though, and they flew all the way there to get involved in disreputable activities?

4. Patronization of non-reputable establishments is prohibited.

But what’s a non-reputable establishment?

5. Alcohol may only be consumed in moderate amounts while off-duty on a TDY assignment and alcohol use is prohibited within 10 hours of reporting for duty.

Ten hours. That more or less transforms the agents into teetotalers, because one guy tried to pay $30 for a $750 job.

6. Alcohol may not be consumed at the protectee hotel once the protective visit has begun. The following measures relating to foreign car plane staffing are effective immediately.

Add this to the rule about obeying American laws at all times – as was rumored, agents are being told they can’t even get a little hash in the Netherlands.