That screeching sound you hear is the tabloid machine lurching into overdrive after finding out Kanye West is reportedly dating Kim Kardashian.
The two went to see The Hunger Games together, and ever since, they’ve become the paparazzi’s newest unicorn to chase. Kanye’s new song “Theraflu” even supposedly references Kardashian: “I admit I fell in love with Kim, ‘Round the same time she fell in love with him.” “Him” most likely refers to Kim’s erstwhile husband Kris Humphries.
Maybe their embarrassingly short 72 days of marriage is Kanye’s fault! “Yo, Kris, I’m really happy for you, and I’ma let you finish, and by finish I mean it’s my turn.”
Either way we’re trying to come up with a name for the couple. KK? Kimanye? Westashian? The terrible possibilities are endless.