A Comprehensive List of the Substantive Criticisms Gail Collins Has Made of Mitt Romney This Month

Politico’s Alex Burns suggested that Gail Collins was turning in critical column copy about Mitt Romney without making any substantive criticisms of why he’s such a fink. Putting myself in the role of an undecided voter (which I am, seriously), I sought out every comment that Collins had made about Romney since the start of April.

He is “going to a lot of effort to try to disguise” that his foreign policy resembles Obama’s. (April 4)

He says he gets economic advice from his wife Ann. (April 7)

He said he could kill Obamacare because he was its godfather, and that sounded like “a mafia metaphor.” (April 7)

He seemed to think for a minute about what the next primary date was. (April 7)

He “drove to Canada with the family dog strapped to the roof of the car.” (April 26)

He’s doing “a passel of closed-door fund-raisers in states like New Jersey and New York.” (April 26)

He “insulted the cookies at a Pittsburgh community center.” (April 26)

He has not released “all his tax returns.” (April 26)

His campaign uses “the Kid Rock theme song,” which means that he walks onstage to the lines “wild, like an untamed stallion,” which is funny. (April 26)

People seriously say this isn’t substantive?