The Last Debate Drinking Game Ever (Until October)

MESA, Ariz. – The media presence is greately reduced. Around half of the seats are full in the tent given over to reporters covering what will may be the final debate of the GOP primary season. The occasion requires a drinking game.

If the candidates are asked about immigration, sip.
If the immigration comes from an outraged Hispanic voter in the audience, drink.
If the Hispanic voter is actually a Tea Partier who wants to seal the border, take two swigs.

Raise your glass and toast when…

- Rick Santorum asks and answers his own strawman question. (X! Why? Z!)
- An outraged Ron Paul comments on how he’s getting no questions.
- Mitt Romney dismisses a question by laughing mechanically.
- Newt Gingrich uses the word “frankly,” “fundamentally,” “profound,” or “stupid.”

If Gingrich uses two of these words in one sentence, seat the tallest person at your party in a wooden chair, lift it, and dance in a circle.

Ready several drinks for the inevitable Gingrich-moderator spat. If it’s about Gingrich’s personal life, drink 12-year single malt scotch. If it’s because he’s not getting any questions, drink bourbon. If it’s in defense of another candidate, drink a dry gin martini.