Memoirs of the Cain Administration

I’m reading Herman Cain’s new campaign memoir, This is Herman Cain!*, and the big revelation… well, define “big,” but Cain’s robust defense of the Fed seems notable. He was a Fed governor in the 90s, and often has to push back against libertarian-minded Tea Partiers who want to (pace Ron Paul) End the Fed.

Most of the people who today are vociferous critics of the Federal Reserve system don’t know what they are talking about… its critics claim that our money supply and the world’s supply will self-regulate. No, they won’t. They will not self-regulate, and you will have chaos.

Unrelatedly, I thought it important to highlight the closing chapter in which Cain imagines his thoughts on inauguration day.

- “Thirty days after taking office, I plan to convene a summit meeting of the heads of state and also the leaders of the opposition parties of our trusted allies.”

- “White House personnel will be expected to have a copy of the Constitution of the United States nearby.”

- “I have decided to sharply decrease the number of inaugural night balls. Instead, Mrs. Cain and I will host a series of celebratory occasions.”

- “Once each month I plan to invite small groups of average citizens to join me for dinner and conversation.”

- “I’m also giving thought on this, my first day in office, to resolving America’s health care crisis, by replacing ‘Obamacare’ with ‘Caincare.’”

- “Step one, just make a 10 percent across-the-board cut from everybody and write me the plan.”

That’s pretty much it. We close the fantasy in fine form:

Well, I’m just about at the elevator up to the family quarters. But bear with me just a minute more as I confirm who I am. It’s obvious: I’m the president of the United States of America.

*This is the third campaign book of 2012 to have an exclamation point in the title, after Rick Perry’s Fed Up! and Thad McCotter’s Seize Freedom!