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Bill Simmons’ Internet Tendency Is Going to Be Super-Humble

ESPN finally

announced the name

for the quality-sportswriting project that columnist/impresario Bill Simmons has been

pulling together

: it is ”

Grantland.com

.” God bless anyone who goes on an aggressive editor-and-writer hiring spree, and good luck to all involved, but really. “Grantland.” As in

Grantland Rice.

What, was ErnestHemingway.com taken? (Yes, apparently, by

Alberta Hot Rods

, of High Prairie, Alberta.) In other news, Simmons’ podcasts will henceforth be known as ”

Mercury Theatre on the Air

” and his football gambling-picks columns will be retitled ”

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A Fan’s Notes

.”

Who is Simmons trying to win over with this? This is an actual mystery. Are the romantics who still worship Rice as the founder-saint of modern Quality Sportswriting going to appreciate the tribute, coming from a guy who carved out a niche writing about Teen Wolf and porn stars? Is the wised-up generation that sees Rice as a

ponderous cornball

, a huckster with a purple ribbon in his typewriter, supposed to be impressed?

Outlined against a yellow-white June sky, the Three Consulting Editors rode again. In dramatic lore they are glibness, naivete, and ironic lowbrowism. Their real names are: Gladwell, Eggers, and Klosterman…

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