Breaking News: New York Sportswriters Discover Knicks Are Losers

On the front of the D section of today’s New York Times, the entire culture of New York sports writing and

New York Knicks basketball

has been reduced to 11 words. It is self-devouring koan, disguised as a

simple headline


For the Knicks, Losing Is Fast Becoming a Way of Life

Write it on your body with a Sharpie, sportswriters, next time you come to. The Knicks are losers. Last year, they lost 24 more games than they won. The year before that, they lost 18 more games than they won. The year before that, they lost 36 more games than they won, for a winning percentage of .280. The year before that? Losers. Before that? Losers, with another awful .280 season. Before that? Losers. Losers, losers, losers.

The Knicks’ last winning season was 10 years ago, when Allan Houston was the leading scorer and Mark Jackson led the team in assists. The all-time record of the

New York Knickerbockers

, since the team took the floor for the newly formed NBA during the mayorship of

William O’Dwyer

, is 2,518 wins and 2,553 losses. The Knicks are losers, yet the Knicks and the people who write about them are also always only on the verge of recognizing that they are losers, which is their special gift. Who says the city isn’t innocent?