I don’t know what it says about this election that it has spawned so many debate drinking games , but it seems worth a roundup. Here are some of the best rules and instructions you’ll find for tonight’s Mississippi fisticuffs:
- If both candidates show up”
“TAKE A SIP WHENEVER:
John McCain refers to himself as a ‘maverick.’
Barack Obama rolls his eyes when John McCain refers to himself as a ‘maverick.’ ”
” When McCain makes his first reference to being a prisoner of war:
Everybody get in a box and take a Vicodin.
At McCain’s second reference to being a POW:
Two shots, punch the person next to you in the biceps, demand a confession.
Third POW reference:
Five and a half shots.
“The entire time McCain speaks, players will be able to ‘invade’ other players by putting their finger in another person’s cup without them noticing. If they are able to do so, the invaded person must drink from their cup as well as their conqueror’s cup until McCain is done speaking.”
– In Our Ear … Out the Other
“DO NOT take a drink every time McCain attempts to appropriate parts of Obama’s campaign message.
DO NOT take a drink every time McCain chuckles and smiles.
And ABSOLUTELY DO NOT take a drink every time McCain mentions 9/11.”
– Daily Kos
“McCain claims the ‘fundamentals of our economy are strong’–finish your drink and write a bad check to your landlord.
The cameras pan out to Cindy McCain–swallow all the pills you can find and finish your drink.
Either candidate refers to previous drug use–spark a joint and pass.
McCain uses self-deprecating humor to comment on his age–mix whiskey with Metamucil and sip while asking the person next to you when you’re going to have grandchildren.
McCain says ‘my friends’ more than three times–open the front door and scream, ‘I am not your goddamn friend, McCain,’ pound your beer and throw the empty in the street.”
– Fat Kid Special
“- Do a Jägerbomb every time ‘the surge’ is mentioned
- Shot of vodka every time Russia or Georgia are mentioned
- Shot of bourbon every time ethanol is mentioned
- Shot of tequila every time immigration or Mexico are mentioned
- Shot of rum every time hurricanes are mentioned
- Shot of scotch if the disembodied ghost of Ulysses S. Grant makes an appearance
- Shot of your own wretched tears when the debate ends and you realize that one of these two clowns is going to be the next president.”
“Regardless of what either candidate says, at the end of the debate, drink something that must be lit on fire first, then hit yourself in the face with a shovel.”
–Josh Nelson, Huffington Post
And, of course, drink every time Jim Lehrer’s pupils dilate to the size of quarters.