The John Edwards Affair: What Really Happened

The National Enquirer said on Tuesday that its reporters tailed John Edwards to the Beverly Hilton, where he was allegedly visiting Rielle Hunter. She’s the woman the tabloid has claimed is the mother of Edwards’ “love child.”

Major media outlets haven’t picked up the story as of yet, presumably because it doesn’t prove Edwards is the father. All it shows is that the ex-senator met Hunter at a hotel in a room reserved under the name of her friend Bob McGovern (whom the Enquirer claims was there with the baby), entered through the basement and took the elevator up so he wouldn’t be seen, and left at 2:40 a.m., only to be accosted and cornered in the bathroom by reporters.

I’m sure there’s a perfectly plausible explanation. In fact, I can think of several:

Edwards met Hunter, who produced videos for the former presidential candidate’s campaign, to shoot a new “webisode” for the series they started last year. This one was going to be about Edwards accepting Barack Obama’s offer to be his running mate. They had to meet in secret at 2 a.m. because Obama didn’t want the news to leak.

Hunter was planning to sue the Enquirer for defamation, and wanted Edwards, an acclaimed trial lawyer, to represent her.

Edwards wanted to confirm the baby was not his but couldn’t be sure until it started growing hair.

A local charity asked Edwards to meet with a single mother who had no health care and couldn’t earn a living wage. He had no idea it would be this one!

Edwards had come to return Hunter’s sari, which she had left the time he came to return her bomber jacket, which she had left the time he came to return her charm bracelet, which she had left the time he came to return her first edition of Pulp’s His ‘n’ Hers , which she had left on the campaign bus in Reno.

It was a setup by Barack Obama, who needed some new material for his stump speech on deadbeat dads.

It was a setup by Hillary Clinton, who is still determined to knock Edwards out of the Democratic primary.

It was a setup by John Kerry, who doesn’t want Barack Obama to make the same mistake he made.

It was a setup by John McCain, who hates anything to do with the Hilton.