Obama: Lacy, Like Stockings

It’s probably too late for this publication—we who brought you the Encyclopedia Baracktannica —to start condemning others for abusive permutations of Barack Obama’s name. There is one word, however, that you will never find in our Encyclopedia, no matter how many editions it goes through: Omentum .

Long before this word got tossed around the blogosphere and casually dropped on Sunday morning shows , it referred to “[a] sheet of fat … attached to the bottom edge of the stomach,” as defined on . This was first brought to our attention by alert reader Dr. James Peykanu of Morgantown, W.Va., an Obama supporter who implored us not to associate the word with his candidate. Peykanu describes the omentum in detail:

The Omentum (there are two, the greater and lesser) is a big membrane in the belly that serves as the root by which the blood to the intestines flows. Incidentally, in most people, it is HEAVILY impregnated with fat and is a pretty disgusting thing to look at or surgically manipulate, no matter how great a function the thing serves (it is very useful in walling off infections, for example).

Sadly, the best picture we can find features Oprah—an Obama supporter—holding one under the headline “The Biology of Blubber.”

Perhaps Obama’s detractors should latch onto the analogy. As Oprah tells us, “A healthy omentum, like the one Oprah’s holding, should be ‘lacy, like stockings. …The omentum, you’ll notice, is transparent and thin.’”