The Fringe, Part 5

This is the fifth entry in “The Fringe,” a periodic look at the lesser-known candidates for president. Read the rest of the series here .

CapFendig is the fringe man’s Mike Huckabee. The Republican presidentialcandidate wants to keep the troops in Iraq, supports the fair tax, andpromotes pro-life policies. But while Huckabee’s profile continues torise, Cap Fendig is hoping to grab four percent of the votes in Iowa,at most. That’s what happens when the highest public office you’ve heldis county commissioner.

The 53-year-old man certainly looks presidential, and speaks in a southern drawl that would make John Edwards swoon. His high-quality Web site has pictures of him and his wife looking like the all-Americancouple—complete with an out-of-focus background to imply Fendig is astark contrast to the murky America that surrounds us all.

Fendigrecently sold his tour company in Georgia to fund his campaign, but itwas his business that inspired him to run in the first place. He saidhis platform consists of policies the “American people” want. Ofcourse, most of those Americans are his conservative tour clientele.

Fendigis not ashamed to tell you that he thinks the constitution ought to bechanged. First up, the Fair Tax, which would repeal the 16 th amendment that allows the government to collect an income tax. Next, hewants to solve the immigration problem by scrapping pieces of the 14 th Amendment. Under the Fendig administration, babies born in the UnitedStates would no longer be automatic U.S. citizens. Their parents wouldhave to be citizens, as well. Unclear on whether America would make ita habit of deporting children before they leave the hospital. Oh, anddon’t forget to tack on a gay marriage amendment while you’re at it.(Fendig said homosexuality is a lifestyle choice America cannot endorsebut should protect.)

Constitutional changes aside, Fendig is making one novel recommendation : He wants to impose term limits on congressmen so that the legislative branch has a “rotation of fresh ideas and energy.”

Fendig,though, has more pressing concerns—like getting people to take himseriously. When Fendig delivered his official announcement speech at acounty meeting, the video shows that the woman sitting behind him couldn’t help but let loose a laugh.