Aptronym (n): A name that inadvertently describes its bearer’s occupation. Widely attributed to Franklin P. Adams, aka “F.P.A.,” whose newspaper column, “The Conning Tower,” was popular during the 1920s and 1930s.
Wayne Schmuck, a used-car distributor, was convicted of mail fraud in Wisconsin for selling dealers used cars whose odometers he’d reset. Schmuck appealed all the way to the Supreme Court, which upheld his conviction in its unforgettably named decision, Schmuck v. United States.
Fred Karr was for many years a driver’s ed teacher in Ann Arbor, Mich.
Rosalind G. Brewer was appointed in March to the board of directors of Molson Coors Brewing Company. Molson Coors issued a press release. Wouldn’t you?
Ravi Tailor is master cutter and managing director of Anthony J. Hewitt, bespoke tailors and shirtmakers of Savile Row, London.
Roger Printup is registrar at Stanford University.
Dr. William J. Whitehead is a dermatologist in Germantown, Tenn.
Updated Aptronym Yellow Pages:
Dr. Aena Han Payne (University of Mississippi)
Dr. Richard Madden (Hudson, N.Y.)
Alan Heavens (University of Edinburgh)
Margaret Spellings (Secretary of Education)
Jaime Lachica Cardinal Sin (former archbishop of Manila)
Elizabeth Weatherhead (Boulder, Colo.)
Roger Whitehead (Germantown, Pa.)
Ngoc Quang Chu, DDS (Bethesda, Md.)
Dr. Ravi Doctor (Arlington, Va. A dentist so nice you call him “doctor” twice!)
Dalbert Fear, Jr., DDS (Ann Arbor, Mich.)
Ken Hurt, DDS (Albuquerque, N.M.)
Kenneth Krowne, DDS (Brookline, Mass.)
Les Plack, DDS (San Francisco, Calif.)
Anthony J. Puller, DDS (Richmond, Va.)
Randall Toothaker, DDS (University of Nebraska Medical Center)
Barth, Lacy, and Craig Toothman (Columbus, Ohio)
David Dollar (economist at the World Bank)
Brian Baldinger (former defensive lineman, Dallas Cowboys, Indianapolis Colts *, and Philadelphia Eagles)
Joey Goodspeed (former running back, St. Louis Rams)
Quentin Jammer (cornerback for the San Diego Chargers)
Willie Thrower (first black quarterback in the NFL)
Ravi Tailor, master cutter and managing director of Anthony J. Hewitt, bespoke tailors and shirtmakers of Saville Row (London).
Dr. Angel Colon * (Washington, D.C.)
Jeffrey M. Advokat, (Morristown, N.J.)
Sue Yoo (Sullivan & Cromwell, New York, N.Y.)
Jack Christ (Ripon College, Ripon, Wis.)Liquor
Rosalind G. Brewer, board member, Molson Coors Brewing Co.
Richard Superfine (University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill)
Francine Prose (New York, N.Y.)
Office Supplies and Equipment
Dean Boring, president, Boring Office Supplies (Lakeland, Fla.)
Dr. Kevin Blinder (Washington University)
Sarah Slipper (former dancer with the Royal Winnipeg Ballet)
Dr. Allen Korn (Washington, D.C.)
Chris Moneymaker (Spring Hill, Tenn.)
John Lawless (Haverstraw, N.Y.)
Dr. Jules Angst (emeritus professor of psychiatry, University of Zurich)
Ellen Winner (author of Gifted Children: Myths and Realities; professor of psychology at Boston College)
Roberta L. Nutt, Ph.D. (director, Counseling Psychology Doctoral Program, Texas Women’s University)
William Dement, M.D. (professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at Stanford)
Robert Raper (Boston, Mass.)
Charles H. Bronson (oversees Florida’s “concealed carry” program allowing ordinary citizens to pack heat)
Religion, Professors of
Terry Godlove (Hofstra University)
John C. Chicken (author, The Philosophy of Risk)
Sexual Misconduct Researcher
Roger Printup, registrar (Stanford University)
Dr. Richard (“Dick”) Chopp (Austin, Texas)
Dr. Dennis Peters (Pensacola, Fla.)
Dr. Alexander Philpott (Wheat Ridge, Colo.)
Dr. Keith Waterhouse, retired (New York, N.Y.)
*updated; previously listed for Anapolis, Md.