Aptronym (n): A name that inadvertently describes its bearer’s occupation. Widely attributed to Franklin P. Adams, aka “F.P.A.,” whose newspaper column, “The Conning Tower,” was popular during the 1920s and 1930s.
Elizabeth Weatherhead tracks the slow recovery of the ozone layer at the University of Colorado’s Cooperative Institute for Research in Environmental Sciences.
Dr. Aena Han Payne runs an acupuncture clinic at the University of Mississippi Medical Center.
Why does Florida permit its citizens to carry concealed handguns? Maybe because the regulator in charge of its “concealed carry” program is named Charles H. Bronson.
Ellen Winner is the author of Gifted Children: Myths and Realities.
In 2003, the winner of the World Series of Poker was Chris Moneymaker.
The first African-American quarterback in the National Football League was Willie Thrower, who played two games for the Chicago Bears in 1953.
You don’t think dentists are “real” doctors? Try telling that to Dr. Ravi Doctor, DDS, in Arlington, Texas.
Joe Shockey is a retired electrician living in Seven Hills, Ohio.
Updated Aptronym Yellow Pages:
Dr. Aena Han Payne (University of Mississippi)
Dr. Richard Madden (Hudson, N.Y.)
Alan Heavens (University of Edinburgh)
Margaret Spellings (Secretary of Education)
Jaime Lachica Cardinal Sin (former archbishop of Manila)
Elizabeth Weatherhead (Boulder, Colo.)
Ngoc Quang Chu, DDS (Bethesda, Md.)
Dr. Ravi Doctor (Arlington, Va. A dentist so nice you call him “doctor” twice!)
Dalbert Fear, Jr., DDS (Ann Arbor, Mich.)
Ken Hurt, DDS (Albuquerque, N.M.)
Kenneth Krowne, DDS (Brookline, Mass.)
Les Plack, DDS (San Francisco, Calif.)
Anthony J. Puller, DDS (Richmond, Va.)
Randall Toothaker, DDS (University of Nebraska Medical Center)
Barth, Lacy, and Craig Toothman (Columbus, Ohio)
David Dollar (economist at the World Bank)
Brian Baldinger (former defensive lineman, Dallas Cowboys, Indianapolis Colts *, and Philadelphia Eagles)
Joey Goodspeed (former running back, St. Louis Rams)
Quentin Jammer (cornerback for the San Diego Chargers)
Willie Thrower (first black quarterback in the NFL)
Angel Colon(Annapolis, Md.)
Richard Superfine (University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill)
Francine Prose (New York, N.Y.)
Office Supplies and Equipment
Dean Boring, president, Boring Office Supplies (Lakeland, Fla.)
Dr. Kevin Blinder (Washington University)
Sarah Slipper (former dancer with the Royal Winnipeg Ballet)
Dr. Allen Korn (Washington, D.C.)
Chris Moneymaker (Spring Hill, Tenn.)
John Lawless (Haverstraw, N.Y.)
Dr. Jules Angst (emeritus professor of psychiatry, University of Zurich)
Ellen Winner (author of Gifted Children: Myths and Realities; professor of psychology at Boston College)
Roberta L. Nutt, Ph.D. (director, Counseling Psychology Doctoral Program, Texas Women’s University)
William Dement, M.D. (professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at Stanford)
Robert Raper (Boston, Mass.)
Charles H. Bronson (oversees Florida’s “concealed carry” program allowing ordinary citizens to pack heat)
Religion, Professors of
Terry Godlove (Hofstra University)
John C. Chicken (author, The Philosophy of Risk)
Sexual Misconduct Researcher
Laura Knott-Twine, (founder, Windham Textile and History Museum in Windham, Conn., known as “Thread City.”)
Dr. Richard (“Dick”) Chopp (Austin, Texas)
Dr. Dennis Peters (Pensacola, Fla.)
Dr. Alexander Philpott (Wheat Ridge, Colo.)
Dr. Keith Waterhouse, retired (New York, N.Y.)