Keeping Tabs

It’s a Boy! Or a Girl!

The latest on the world’s hottest fetus.

Brad and Angelina are having a boy! Or a girl! Us and the Enquirer say that the world’s hottest fetus is a boy; Life & Style says it’s a girl. Us’ evidence? “Two sources tell Us, it’s a boy. (Remember, though: This is the same secretive pair who swore she wasn’t pregnant until the announcement. So anything is possible.)”Life & Style says that Brad’s sister let the sex slip while shopping in a children’s clothing boutique in Springfield, Mo. There’s also some disagreement on the due date: Us runs a “SHE’S DUE MAY 2!” cover line, but Star says Jolie give the date as June 6, two days from her own birthday (June 4). Jolie supposedly explained, “My mom suggested it. She’s really into astrology and thought it would be great to have a Gemini like me!”

Eavesdropping on Angelina. Star’s “ANGELINA SPEAKS!” cover story is a truly odd and apparently enterprising bit of reporting, although—red flag alert!—no writer is credited. The story recounts the details of a meeting between Jolie and director Robert Rodriguez: “Except for the bartender and a reporter sitting at the long mahogany bar,” Jolie and Rodriguez were alone. It seems they spoke loudly, however. How many kids does Jolie want? “Thirteen! … But we’re going to adopt the rest. I can’t stand to be pregnant again and that’s how many we want. And I sure as hell ain’t squeezing all those out!” Is she getting married? “We will never marry … He is going through a divorce … And I’ve been divorced twice, so it’s not something we’re considering.”

Vince moves in. The tabs all report that Vince Vaughn has moved in with Jennifer Aniston. InTouch is concerned: “A pal” says, “Jen is moving too fast with Vince … It’s almost like she wants to keep up with Brad and Angelina.”Life & Style suggests that Aniston could write a tell-all book about the dissolution of her marriage to Brad Pitt, then offers a bullet-pointed list of “facts” to include: “She and Brad didn’t have sex for two years.” “She says she would have gotten pregnant but is now grateful they didn’t have a child.” “Jen still wakes up in the night, calling Brad’s name.”

Kevin Federline, sensitive man.
Star elaborates on a scoop from last week. Not only does Kevin Federline make “oink! oink!” noises when his wife Britney Spears eats, the tab reports, he also “hoots with laughter when he hears her thighs chafing together.”

Is Clay Aiken gay?
The Enquirer gave a polygraph test to a 38-year-old former green beret, John Paulus, who claims he had “90 minutes of passion” with the American Idol star, who has always denied being gay. According to the Enquirer, Paulus “provided copies of instant message conversations he claims he had with bachelor Aiken over a two-week period and has towels he says were used by Aiken from the sexual encounter which he claims contain the singer’s DNA.” Paulus alleges that the rendezvous began with an e-mail from Aiken, who saw Paulus’ personal ad on a Web site. Paulus also maintains that, “Clay told me he just came out of the closet to his mother and a few close friends last year,” and that Aiken sent Paulus a message “saying that he wanted a ‘discreet bf (boyfriend).’ ”

Is Scientology keeping Tom and Katie from having sex?
“An insider” tells InTouch that Tom Cruise “has put the brakes on their lovemaking.” It turns out that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard “wrote that a mother-to-be shouldn’t engage in sex because it could negatively impact the baby.” Poor Katie’s missing out: In a sidebar, the tab informs readers that, “Enjoying sex during pregnancy is normal,” offering this biological and anthropological proof: “In a Playboy interview, Jenny McCarthy said she was ‘raging horny’ while expecting—a common feeling for moms-to-be.”

High-school gossip report. InTouch hits the cafeteria, reporting on 14-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears’ troubles balancing her relationship with her homework. The star of Nickelodeon’s Zoey 101 and sister of Britney “has been dating a guy named Victor from her hometown of Kentwood, La., since November, but now the high school freshman is forbidden to see him.” According to “a friend of the younger Spears sister,” “She’s grounded because she’s failing her ninth-grade classes.” Still, the “friend” thinks love will conquer the grounding: “She really likes him,” the pal says.