Since 2000, Slate has poked fun at George W. Bush for his torture—some say it’s merely abuse—of the English language. Our “Bushisms” collection captures (as Editor Jacob Weisberg explains in his latest volume) the president’s ignorance, incuriosity, laziness, and thoughtlessness expressed in frequent gaffes. Now that Democrats have settled on a presumptive presidential nominee, it’s time to cast an equally cold eye on the pomposity and evasiveness of John Kerry.
Here’s how to read a Kerryism. The text below is Kerry’s quote translated into plain English. Kerry’s actual quote, however, is full of caveats and pointless embellishments. To read these, click the numbers above the text, which will take you to the caveats and embellishments, presented as footnotes. (Words in brackets before a number are what a normal person would have substituted for the ornate phrase Kerry delivered. To see the ornate phrase, click the number and read the footnote.) To return to the main text, click the number at the beginning of any footnote. To see the whole quote as Kerry delivered it, with all the caveats and embellishments, click here. To get back to this Kerryism, click “Return to English version.”
“Let me just say 1 that the 2 abuse of Iraqi prisoners 3 is 4 unacceptable 5. And the response of the administration 6 has been slow 7. I believe the president needs to [give] 8 an explanation. What happened there has done a disservice to all of our troops 9 10 11, and it 12undermines America’s 13 efforts in the region. It [puts] 14 our troops 15 in further jeopardy. It can increase acts of terror against America 16, and it undermines the 17 effort of the United States in the region. So 18it is important to [understand] 19 this as rapidly as possible and to make that explanation 20 to the world.”
—Los Angeles, May 5, 2004
 very quickly  horrifying  which the world has now seen  absolutely  and inexcusable  —certainly the Pentagon—  and inappropriate  guarantee that the world is going to have  who serve with great valor  and greater courage  and, I think, with distinction  also  own  has the potential of putting  —the rest of them—  and Americans  overal l  I think  have an understanding of  and any other appropriate comments
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