Did you know that Hootie & the Blowfish have endorsed John Edwards for president? That Oklahoma City Friday, “the state’s largest suburban weekly newspaper,” has endorsed Joe Lieberman? That Chris Shifflett, “the widely acclaimed guitarist for the Foo Fighters,” has endorsed Dennis Kucinich?
And you call yourself an informed voter?
To help you catch up on the “news” each campaign releases to the media daily, Slate has compiled the lamest press releases of the 2004 presidential campaign so far. Our panel of experts selected the lamest release from each campaign. Then, using a complex formula, we ranked them in order of lameness, from very lame to extremely lame. Enjoy.
10. Students for Bush Successfully Launch
ANN ARBOR, Mich.—More than 150 Bush supporters participated in a pre-game rally organized by Bush-Cheney ‘04 and Michigan Students for Bush in an event designed to engage young people in presidential politics.
9. FORMER HAWAII LT. GOVERNOR MAZIE HIRONO ENDORSES JOHN EDWARDS FOR PRESIDENT
RALEIGH, N.C.: The Edwards for President campaign today announced that former Hawaii Lieutenant Governor Mazie Hirono endorsed John Edwards (D-NC) for president. “Mazie Hirono’s seven terms in the state House of Representatives and two terms as Lieutenant Governor are a testament to her commitment to service and to the people of Hawaii,” Edwards said.
8. ESPN’s Chris Berman Endorses Joe
Manchester, N.H.—Joe Lieberman today was endorsed by Chris Berman, a respected sportscaster and commentator for ESPN. … Lieberman’s New Hampshire State Director Peter Greenberger welcomed the endorsement from Berman and added “as the Pats continue their march towards the Super Bowl, another great New England Patriot—Joe Lieberman—is making his march towards the Superbowl of Politics: The New Hampshire Primary.”
7. SHARPTON WAY AHEAD WITH AFRICAN-AMERICAN VOTERS ACCORDING TO NEW GALLUP POLL
New York—According to a special analysis of likely Democratic voters conducted for the National Newspaper Publishers Association News Service (NNPA) by the Gallup Organization, Reverend Al Sharpton is the Democrat most favored to win Democratic Nomination for President among black voters.
6. Senior Keene City Councilman Randy Filiault Endorses John Kerry
Builds on Kerry’s Cheshire County Support
Keene City Councilman of 12 years Randy Filiault has endorsed John Kerry for President. Filiault is supporting Kerry because of his foreign policy and national security experience and his ability to take on George Bush toe-to-toe on the issues that will define this election. … Joining Filiault in his endorsement of Kerry is Hinsdale Selectman Robert Johnson. Johnson is an experienced retired school teacher and is supporting Kerry because of his distinguished record and his vision for America’s role in the world.
Johnson has served on the Hinsdale Board of Selectman for three years. Before retiring, he taught biology, physics, astronomy and chemistry for 33 years.
5. Vermont Tribe Endorses Clark
Little Rock, Ark.—The Clark campaign is pleased to announce the endorsement of the Abenaki Nation at Missisquoi, which is headquartered in Swanton, Vermont.
4. “The Great Gephardt Iowa Pie Challenge” Unveiled
AUGUST 25, 2003 Dick Gephardt today called on Iowans to help him find the tastiest, flakiest, fruitiest, creamiest, most scrumptious slices of pie in Iowa. In unveiling “The Great Gephardt Iowa Pie Challenge,” Gephardt takes an early lead in the pie primary with the deep-dish support he enjoys among all Iowans, but especially those who make and love Iowa pies. “Iowa has a long tradition of bringing great pies to our nation. From Stone’s ‘mile high pie’ in Marshalltown to the apple pie at Cronk’s Café in Denison, I’ve only begun to nibble away at the best of what Iowa has to offer—now I need your help in finding all of the great pies in this great state.”
3. Avra Siegal Endorses Dean for America
BURLINGTON—Dean for America announced tonight the endorsement of Avra Siegal, a senior at the University of Michigan. Siegal, a native of Manhattan, was the campaign’s 400,000th personal endorsement—a milestone in the campaign’s “September to Remember,” thirty days that will change politics in America forever. “I was looking for a candidate that could win—I see that in Howard Dean,” Siegal said.
2. Kucinich and Patch Adams To Raise Funds and Spirits in D.C.
Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich will be joined at a campaign fundraising party by Dr. Patch Adams, the physician, activist, and founder of the Gesundheit! Institute, who was played by Robin Williams in the movie “Patch Adams.” Dr. Adams’s endorsement of Kucinich is his first ever presidential campaign endorsement.
1. Fitzgerald To Endorse Moseley Braun
Ambassador Receives Promise of Support from Influential Labor Leader
Chicago, IL—Michael Fitzgerald, Business Manager of International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW) Local 134, announced today his personal endorsement of Ambassador Carol Moseley Braun for President. … Ambassador Moseley Braun said of the endorsement: “I couldn’t be more pleased to have Fitzgerald’s support. He represents the finest tradition of visionary organized labor in his willingness to be inclusive and devoted to the well being of working men and women. I look forward to having him head up the ‘Fitzgeralds for Moseley Braun Committee’.”