Everyone’s calling “Skategate” the biggest story of the Olympics, but I’m with you, Seth—more Bode, less boo-hoo. The French have said their judge is “upright but emotionally fragile,” and while I cannot fathom what such a person is doing working as a judge, I also don’t see anything to cry about here. Jamie Salé agreed to compete in a sport in which half of the final score is in a category called “presentation.” I don’t know about you, but I find Salé thoroughly unpresentable. It’s just a prejudice I have, but I much prefer the Russian girl with the cute eyes over the Canadian with the teeth. Isn’t figure skating OK with that?
Canada doesn’t think so. They’re demanding a duplicate gold for Salé and her partner, the idea being that the Russians did nothing wrong, so nothing should be taken from them. I think that’s very sweet of the Canadians, but I can go it one better: It is my observation that all of the athletes at these Winter Games are really quite extraordinary and that every one of them deserves a gold medal. Let’s save some time and send these shining happy people home holding hands. Maybe the purpose of the Olympics could be served without the Olympics?